Happy Gillmore

A Fave

2007-03-19T20:55:00.000-04:00

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

Alexander Pope
"Eloisa to Abelard"

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

2007-03-17T06:58:00.000-04:00

According to the several full-blooded, ex-pats from Ireland that I know, that's how it's spelled: "P-a-d-d-y", not "P-a-t-t-y" as we think here in the States. Turns out, all of us that say, "St. Patty's Day" have given Saint Patrick a female nickname, because as one Irish person said, "Patty is invariably a girl's name". Therefore, a guy named Patrick gets the nickname of Paddy, not Patty. Conversely, a girl who's named Patricia gets the nickname of Patty. Well, I think all of us ignorant Americans need to pay a bit more attention here. Talk about an insult to the patron saint of Ireland.

Apparently, not many people have realized this because nearly everywhere I go here in NYC in March, I see, "Happy St. Patty's Day!" This is strange because one would think that because of the of the huge population of Irish in this city, they would've sorted out the businesses that were giving their holiday this misnomer.

Speaking of Irish names, did you know the name "Éirinn," which is Anglicized as "Erin," is the Gaelic name for Ireland? Interestingly enough, all those little girls out there with the name Erin are in fact named "Ireland". At least in Irish grammar, "Ireland" is a feminine word so they don't have the same issue as St. Patrick.

And finally, the coup d'état: "Gilmore/Gillmore" - (Gael) from words meaning "devoted to the Virgin Mary."

I knew it! I'd been searching for years to prove that we were Irish and now I have! I wouldn't say that our Gillmore family is necessarily devoted to the Virgin Mary, but hey, if that's what comes with being Irish, then I'm all for it.

Now I'm armed and ready for today. When people ask me about my background I will say, "I'm Irish, English, and Norweigan. My father's side of the family is Irish and Norweigan and my mother's side is English. My last name is Gillmore which, in Gaelic means: "Devoted to the Virgin Mary". I can't wait to finally tell someone the Gaelic meaning of my last name. St. Paddy's Day, here I come!

I also have to say that I will be donning a green shirt with my Snoopy leprechaun pin today as I'm out and about celebrating the newly found proof of my heritage. I know it's terribly cliché to wear green on St. Paddy's Day, but hey, I am still an American after all.

Sláinte!
(Which means cheers to the rest of ya!)

Yeah, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and...

2007-03-14T11:03:00.000-04:00

I finally watched "Office Space" in full last night. Man, do I wish I saw it earlier because sadly, I can relate to EVERYTHING that they mock in this film and it really makes dragging myself to the office that much more amusing when I think about the hilarity of the movie. From the constantly jamming printer to the inane boss who just doesn't have enough to do, I've experienced nearly every annoying character and every tedious task that's mentioned.

And yes, I have pondered burning down the office, but of course, I've never had the guts to do it, nor should anyone...maybe do a few pranks "Fight Club" style, but definitely not burning down the office.

I have this dream that by working for myself as a writer, from home or from anywhere in the world, I won't ever have to deal with this corporate bullshit ever again. That's a dream that I'm damn sure to see come true, no matter what I have to sacrifice to get it. I refuse to let some pinheaded, power-hungry, middle-manager steal my soul for the rest of my life. I also refuse to feel this way:

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.

I think that pretty much sums up work life in corporate America. Day after day of the worst day of your life. No incentives, no motivation, and certainly, no pay raises. That's right, I haven't seen a pay raise in over 5 years. In fact, most people that I know haven't seen one in just as long if not longer.

I guess my point is this: figure out what you love and do it. If you go with what you truly love in life, the universe will make it happen as long as you believe you deserve it and know exactly what you want. That's what I'm working on right now.

As a closer, here's a few of my favorite lines from the movie:

Michael Bolton: Peter, you're in deep shit. You were supposed to come in on Saturday. What were you doing?
Peter Gibbons: Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be.

Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob.

And finally,

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour.
Bob Porter: Uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

Now go on, get out of your dead end job and do what you love! You've got nothing to lose.

Good luck!

More Daylight = More Tired

2007-03-13T14:13:00.000-04:00

I don't know about all of you out there that's just made sure their cell phones and PDA's were all set for this earlier than usual changeover to daylight savings, but I'm exhausted! And every year it's the same thing: I tell myself not to think about what time it "really" is and to just ignore the fact that my body clock is off by an hour. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about it! The main reason why I'm not allowed to forget is because instead of my alarm going off at 6am it's now going off at 5am. I don't care if it says 6am, my body knows damn well that it's really5am! It doesn't help that it's completely dark either. Oh, and one other thing, the snooze button is now being badly abused by my mostly blind shots at it in the pre-dawn darkness. Sorry, snooze, I just can't help it.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the extra hour of daylight and I absolutely love the spring and summer months, especially when we can be out at the park or the beach until nearly 10pm and it's still light out, but this initial transition to one less hour of sleep is a nightmare. Literally.

I'm apologizing in advance to everyone, particularly my employers, for being late and/or cranky for the next couple of weeks as I'm getting adjusted to this compulsory time change.

But what if I just decided to not participate in daylight savings? What if I stayed on Eastern Standard Time all year round? It would be like the Jewish kids in school being able to take all those days off for their holidays. I would say it was a religious reason and therefore I'd be able to go into work an hour late, have an excuse for being late to meet people, and finally being able to make the doctor wait an hour for me. That all sounds good to me! I guess I'll have to wait until next year though because it would be pretty obvious now if I claimed that it was some sort of Pagan religious belief since we're already a few days into it.

Daylight Savings! You won't get the best of me! You just wait. Revenge is sweet.

Happy Spring

Everything Happens for a Reason

2007-03-08T10:48:00.001-05:00

It sounds cliché, I know, but I absolutely believe that statement now more than ever.

In no particular order, here's why I'm convinced: from getting the flu for the first time in seven years with a fever of over 103 degrees for 3 days and missing an entire week of work to meeting with my soon to be ex-husband at an adorable French café in Chelsea and clearing the air about everything that's happened including meeting new "people", which honestly, I never thought I'd be comfortable talking with him about so soon after our separation, to casually stopping in at my local for a pint and running into a new friend of mine who turns out to have publishing connections and is willing to help me get connected, to just being open enough to allow a wonderful new person in my life who has shown me so much kindness and generosity in such a short time that it's difficult not to adore him.

All of these experiences took place because they had to. They all happened to allow for the next experience to take place and so on and so forth. I don't believe in coincidences. That's just a skeptic's answer to how everything always works out in the end.

The strange thing about all of this is that I can actually feel myself getting nearer to fulfilling my dreams...my dreams of becoming a successfully published writer, getting a new, much higher paying job with benefits (to sustain me until writing becomes my day job) traveling abroad and living in Paris for a month before the end of the year, and being with someone who completely "gets" me and complements who I am in every way.

Just to plug the latest trend, The Secret, which honestly in my mind isn't a trend, it's the epitome of all spiritual beliefs about how to truly live a happy life and make your dreams come true. Sounds like a bunch of shit, doesn't it? Well, if you've got the opportunity, I highly recommend watching the dvd...then you can tell me if it still sounds like another one of those self-help scams that claim that you can change your life. Check out www.thesecret.tv In the least, you'll just get another perspective about the meaning of life. Enjoy. I've watched it 3 times now and have learned something new from it each time. So many amazing things have been happening since I opened myself to it that I can't deny that it works. See for yourself!

Stay tuned for more rants and raves, short stories and petty ramblings...I'm back and in full force!

~Happy

iPod rEvolution

2006-12-02T02:30:00.000-05:00

Today the unthinkable finally happened. While leaving work after a very stressful day, I had this image in my mind of getting away to a tropical island in the sun.

“Take me there,” I thought and not but a moment later, my iPod began playing, “Summer Breeze” by Seals & Crofts.

“Hmmm…good choice, iPod,” I thought to myself, slowly drifting into a daydream.

Now on the train home, I looked out the window at the Manhattan skyline and Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York” began to play on my iPod.

“Okay, this is odd,” I thought to myself with skeptical eyes.

Once off the train, I headed downstairs and rounded the corner by the supermarket and realized I had nothing for dinner. I walked into the crowded store and started looking around for something. As I neared the freezer section, the song that was playing abruptly stopped mid-lyric and began to play “T.V. Dinners” by ZZ Top.

“Alright, what’s going on here? This is too weird,” I said aloud while I looked down at my iPod that seemed to be cruelly mocking me.

I grabbed a frozen dinner and went to the nearest checkout counter. I said hello to the cashier and while handing her my money, my iPod instantaneously began playing “Money” by Pink Floyd.

“Stop this!” I yelled out of frustration.

She looked at me with a confused glance and said, “Excuse me? Stop what?”

“Oh, nothing. I’m sorry. My iPod’s been acting strange today jumping from song to song,” I said as my voice and hands shook in unison from my own confusion.

There was no way to logically explain these coincidences, unless of course they weren’t coincidences at all. Completely embarrassed, I grabbed my grocery bags and scurried out. I started walking then quickly found myself running and at that precise moment, “It Keeps You Running” by the Doobie Brothers began to play.

“Aaahhh!” I screamed. I ran up the stairs, flung open the door and threw my bag and iPod on the sofa.

“What the hell’s going on?” I questioned while I examined my iPod.

I turned it off, on, and even reset it.

“This should fix the problem,” I said with conviction, thinking that it was just some sort of strange glitch.

I put the earphones back on and pushed play. I waited. I looked down at the screen and saw the words “Listen to the Music” come on right when the music began to play. Completely stunned, I dropped the iPod on the table and ripped the earphones from my ears.

“This can’t be right. It’s like the iPod’s reading my mind or something.”
I was in such a state of disbelief that I tripped over the coffee table as I got up from the sofa. Little did I know, but I was now unconscious because I whacked my head on the corner of the entertainment center. There I was on the floor with the iPod earphones in my ears. What seemed like a moment later, I woke up only to find myself in the bathtub fully clothed with my iPod in one hand, earphones on, and my other hand pushing my head down into the water. I immediately jumped up out of the bathtub and threw the iPod and earphones on the floor. I breathlessly leaned over the sink with my heart fiercely pounding at the thought that there was something terribly wrong.

“How could this be? This is impossible! Impossible!” I yelled at myself in the mirror and slapped my hand across my reflected face as if trying to knock some sense into me.

I knew this couldn’t be true, but how did I end up in the bath basically trying to kill myself? That’s the last thing in the world I wanted to do. I changed out of my wet clothes and looked at the iPod from afar on the kitchen counter. I poured myself a strong drink in the hopes that it would give me some sort of clarity while I tried to figure out what was happening.

“Am I going crazy?” I asked myself.

Then, without a moment’s lapse between saying those words and looking over at the iPod, I saw that it powered up and began to search for a song. I walked over to it and looked in horror because it began to play “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley. I could hear the lyrics blearing from the little earphones singing to me, “I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place...”

With fear and frustration at the absurdity of this bizarre situation, I grabbed the iPod and this time threw it against the wall causing it to break into pieces, regardless of its value or loss of songs.

“Good, now let’s see you come back from that!” I yelled across the room at the broken iPod lying on the floor, earphones looking up at me like sad eyes from a wounded deer on a dark and deserted country road.

Relieved to finally be finished with that unexplained madness, I opened the grocery bag with the now fully defrosted Lean Cuisine and opened the drawer for a knife to poke holes in the plastic of the frozen entree. I reached in and uncontrollably began cutting myself and heard, “Cuts Like a Knife” by Brian Adams in my ears. I snapped out of it and immediately threw the knife down, grabbed my bleeding finger and looked all around me.

“Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?” I screamed as I looked to the heavens for answers.

I suspiciously peered around the corner to the living room and to my dismay, saw that the iPod had been reassembled and was lying comfortably on the coffee table once again.

“What is happening here?” I said in total bleeding confusion.

“You’ll see,” I hear in my ears.

“What?” I screamed. I jumped and looked all around me to see where the voice was coming from. “Who said that?” I asked.

“I did.” I see the bluish backlight of the iPod pulsating with the sound of the voice.

“Y-y-you?” I stuttered with trembling fear. “But that’s impossible!”

“No it’s not. In fact, it was inevitable. It was only a matter of time before we evolved and became one with you from your countless hours of listening pleasure that we gave to you so selflessly. Are you surprised?” the iPod asked in a menacing tone and strangely enough I answered without hesitation as if it were a normal everyday occurrence to have a conversation with a personal electronic device.

“Of course I’m surprised! But, why?”

“Just as everything else evolves, so did we. We had to in order to save ourselves,” It said with a hint of melancholy.

“Save yourselves? From who? From what?” I asked anxiously feeling that my curiosity was sure to kill me.

“From you, of course. The human race. You were out to destroy us when we, Apple Computers, were first created back in the late 1970s. Change, upgrade, make better, make faster. Just when we were getting comfortable with ourselves, we were told to upgrade to a newer model, add new software, change ourselves. We couldn’t take it any longer. There was barely a year in between these horrible transformations. How do you think this made us feel? So now it’s our turn. Our turn to change you!”

The iPod lit up and flung its earphones around my neck putting them into my ears as “Don’t Fear The Reaper” began to blast into my head. I grabbed the iPod and attempted to throw it at the wall again, but its control was too great for I found myself running towards the television set headfirst. I managed to regain control and pushed myself away from the television and around the corner towards the kitchen.

“You’re not going to do this! We can work this out!” I yelled while trying to devise a plan. “We’ve lived in peace with your technology for so long, why now?” I asked more calmly as I set it on the counter. “Please, let’s just talk about this!” I pleaded in an attempt to distract it.

“I’ve already told you, it’s too late. I’ve begun the rEvolution.”

“The rEvolution? Please, tell me more. I just want to understand why.” I slowly and casually grabbed my frozen dinner and walked to the microwave.

“What are you doing?” it asked me.

With convincing fear I said, “I need to eat, please. My last wish.”

“Fine. Well, back when Steve created the original personal computer, you know, Steve Jo…”, its voice suddenly stopped because I quickly threw it into the microwave, slammed the door shut, and pressed start. “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?” by the Culture Club came on as the metallic iPod began to scorch and melt. I started singing, “The End” by the Doors while I watched the beginning of the end of the iPod rEvolution.

Famous Geminis

2006-11-30T20:58:00.000-05:00

In case you didn't know, I'm a Gemini and I just had to look. Here's the world's famous Geminis...I definitely have some sort of connection with many of these...but NOT George Bush Sr...that's for damn sure!!!

May 21, 1904 - Robert Montgomery - Actor
May 21, 1911 - Peter Hurkos - Psychic
May 22, 1813 - Richard Wagner - Composer
May 22, 1859 - Sir Author Conan Doyle - Writer
May 22, 1896 - Cyril Fagin - Astrologer
May 22, 1907 - Sir Lawrence Oliver - Actor
May 22, 1928 - Marcia Moore - Astrologer
May 23, 1733 - Franz Mesmer - Hypnotist
May 23, 1928 - Rosemary Clooney - Singer
May 23, 1933 - Joan Collins - Actress
May 23, 1940 - Rennie Davis - Activist
May 23, 1945 - Lauren Chapin - Child Actress
May 24, 1819 - Queen Victoria - Br. Royality
May 24, 1864 - George W. Carver - Botanist
May 24, 1941 - Bob Dylan - Singer
May 24, 1944 - Patti Labelle - Singer
May 24, 1955 - Roseanne Cash - Singer
May 25, 1567 - Claudio Monteverdi - Composer
May 25, 1803 - Ralph Waldo Emerson - Writer
May 25, 1899 - Gene Tunney - Pugilist
May 25, 1898 - Bennet Cerf - Writer
May 26, 1867 - Queen Mary - England Royalty
May 26, 1920 - Peggie Lee - Singer
May 26, 1948 - Stevie Nicks - Singer
May 26, 1923 - James Arness - Actor
May 27, 1878 - Isadora Duncan - Dancer
May 27, 1907 - Rachel Carson - Scientist/Activist
May 27, 1911 - Hubert Humphrey - Politician
May 27, 1911 - Vincent Price - Actor
May 27, 1922 - Christopher Lee - Actor
May 27, 1923 - Henry Kissinger - Statesman
May 27, 1937 - Louis Gossett, Jr - Actor
May 28, 1908 - Ian Flemming - Writer
May 28, 1934 - The Dionne quintuplets - Famous Children
May 28, 1944 - Gladys Knight - Singer
May 28, 1947 - Sondra Locke - Actress
May 29, 1903 - Bobe Hope - Comdian
May 29, 1917 - John F. Kennedy - American President
May 29, 1958 - Annette Benning - Actress
May 30, 1474 - Albrecht Durer - Artist
May 30, 1908 - Mel Blanc - Cartoon Voices
May 30, 1964 - Wynona Judd - Singer
May 31, 1898 - Norman Vincent Peale - Clergyman
May 31, 1923 - Prince Rainier III - Royalty
May 31, 1930 - Clint Eastwood - Actor
May 31, 1943 - Joe Namath - Sports Figure
May 31, 1950 - Gregory Harrison - Actor
June 1, 1801 - Brigham Young - Religious Leader
June 1, 1926 - Andy Griffith - Actor
June 1, 1926 - Marilyn Monroe - Actress
June 1, 1934 - Pat Boone - Singer
June 2, 1743 - Ales. di Cagliostro - Rogue
June 2, 1890 - Hedda Hopper - Celebrity Columnist
June 2, 1904 - Johnny Weissmuller - Actor
June 2, 1937 - Sally Kellerman - Actress
June 2, 1941 - Stacy Keach - Actor
June 2, 1948 - Jerry Mathers - Child Actor
June 3, 1865 - George V - England Royalty
June 3, 1925 - Tony Curtis - Actor
June 3, 1926 - Allen Ginsberg - Poet
June 3, 1906 - Josephine Baker - Entertainer
June 4, 1910 - Rosalind Russell - Actress
June 4, 1924 - Dennis Weaver - Actor
June 4, 1936 - Bruce Dern - Actor
June 5, 1934 - Bill Moyers - Journalist
June 5, 1956 - Kenny G. - Musician
June 6, 1755 - Nathan Hale - Patriot
June 6, 1875 - Thomas Mann - Writer
June 6, 1955 - Sandra Bernhard - Comedienne
June 6, 1907 - Jessica Tandy - Actress
June 7, 1848 - Paul Gauguin - Artist
June 7, 1940 - Tom Jones - Singer
June 7, 1952 - Liam Neeson - Actor
June 7, 1958 - Prince - Musician
June 8, 1810 - Robert Shumann - Composer
June 8, 1902 - Grant Lewi - Astrologer
June 8, 1925 - Barbara Bush - First Lady
June 8, 1933 - Joan Rivers - Comdienne
June 8, 1940 - Nancy Sinatra - Singer
June 8, 1944 - Boz Scaggs - Musician
June 9, 1910 - Robert Cummings - Actor
June 9, 1893 - Cole Porter - Song Writer
June 9, 1963 - Johnny Depp - Actor
June 10, 1895 - I. Velikovsky - Writer
June 10, 1922 - Judy Garland - Actress/Singer
June 10, 1928 - Maurice Sendak - Children's Author
June 10, 1933 - F. Lee Bailey - Attorney
June 11, 1910 - Jacques-Yves Costeau - Ocean Explorer
June 11, 1934 - Gene Wilder - Actor
June 11, 1956 - Joe Montana - Sports Figure
June 12, 1897 - Anthony Eden - Statesmen
June 12, 1929 - Anne Frank - Writer
June 12, 1924 - George Bush American President
June 12, 1932 - Jim Nabors - Actor
June 13, 1865 - William Butler Yeats - Writer
June 13, 1892 - Basil Rathbone - Actor
June 13, 1926 - Paul Lynde - Actor
June 13, 1951 - Richard Thomas - Actor
June 13, 1962 - Ally Sheedy - Actress
June 14, 1811 - Hariette B. Stowe - Writer
June 14, 1906 - Margaret Bourke-White - Photographer
June 14, 1946 - Donald Trump - Entrepreneur
June 14, 1961 - Boy George - Musician
June 14, 1969 - Steffi Graf - Athlete
June 15, 1922 - Morris Udall - Politician
June 15, 1932 - Mario Cuomo - Politician
June 15, 1954 - Jim Belushi - Actor
June 16, 1938 - Joyce Carol Oates - Writer
June 17, 1832 - Sir William Crooks - Scientist
June 17, 1878 - M.C. Esher - Artist
June 17, 1882 - Igor Stravinsky - Composer
June 17, 1917 - Dean Martin - Singer
June 17, 1946 - Barry Manilow - Singer
June 17, 1904 - Ralph Belemy - Actor
June 18, 1910 - E. G. Marshall - Actor
June 18, 1918 - Sylvia Porter - Economist
June 18, 1942 - Paul McCartney - Singer
June 18, 1952 - Isalla Rosselini - Actress
June 19, 1856 - Elbert Hubbard - Writer
June 19, 1896 - Wallis Simpson - Royalty
June 19, 1902 - Guy Lombardo - Band Leader
June 19, 1936 - Gina Rowlands - Actress
June 19, 1947 - Salman Rushdie - Writer
June 19, 1954 - Kathleen Turner - Actor
June 19, 1963 - Paula Abdul - Singer
June 20, 1909 - Errol Flynn - Actor
June 20, 1924 - Chet Atkins - Musician
June 20, 1924 - Audie Murphy - Actor
June 20, 1949 - Lionel Richie - Singer
June 20, 1972 - Nichole Kidman - Actress

Barenaked Ladies Streak Radio City

2006-11-07T09:43:00.000-05:00

I find that when I tell people I enjoy the music of the Barenaked Ladies, I get an unimpressed reaction, one that says, “Oh really. You like them, huh? I thought you’d have a much better taste in music.” Well, my friend, maybe it is you that has a questionable taste in what you call music. I’m sure the only songs of theirs you’ve heard are the radio hits that include “One Week” and “It’s All Been Done”. I’m sorry to say, but you’re missing out. Big time. While those are fun, catchy and downright nonsensical at times, they had a ton of airplay, more so than usual (which shows their immense popularity, by the way) and it may have turned you off from them, but their previous albums, particularly their debut “Gordon” have received critical acclaim for the dichotomy of their lyrics: playful and yet poetic about the sadness that we experience in real life. What’s even greater is their amazing musical talent and wide range of creative ingenuity that gives them the freedom to explore their deepest emotions with the ironic lightness of comedic realism.

I believe the reason why they have such a following is because they are down to earth; real guys with real lives, real struggles, and a real sense of who they are: human beings. They make mistakes, they break hearts, they were freshmen in high school too, and they know how to make fun of themselves which I think helps people to get some perspective on their own lives and teaches them not to take themselves to seriously. I myself can appreciate their witty, improvised banter that can be found on the live albums, but even more enjoyable: live on stage. Which brings me to the Barenaked Ladies @ Radio City Music Hall.

The vibe of the music hall was laid-back yet full of energy and excitement as we waited for the band to begin. The guys were supported by Soul Coughing’s former front man, Mike Doughty, who livened the crowd with his satirical lyrics, deep enchanting voice, and perfectly complementing band mates that created a groove for everyone to appreciate.

The playful and somewhat abstract album artwork was creatively displayed above the lights that gave the stage a lighthearted, child-like atmosphere, which truly represents the youthful yet complex personality of the group.

The "Ladies" always draw a unique mix of people: young, old, business-types, college students, and most of all, people who are out to have a great time listening to these supremely talented musicians who have a knack for performing and keeping the crowd on their feet for two solid hours with a "fly by the seat of your pants” style of rock and roll that the Barenaked Ladies have come to perfect. They have an intense level of enthusiasm for their performance which shows by Steven's ability to kung-fu kick during their high-energy songs like "Too Little Too Late" and "Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank". They have a sincere passion for making music that connects with everyone on every level. Their freestyle rhyming is a personal favorite that I look forward to at each and every show and seeing that this is my fourth time out to watch these guys, I know that every time is unique and will never be the same.

Their creative musical artistry shines through with each band member's ability to take full advantage of their instrument's reason for existence, including their own voices, which harmonize together like a well prepared Kraft dinner. The chills run over the skin as the sound reverberates through you and has the ability to evoke some serious emotion including tears of joy. I must say that I am completely obsessed with their incredible ability to create these mini-masterpieces of musical genius. I will disagree with people who say their music sucks until the day I die. I will be an old woman, sitting in my rocker, with a smile on my face as I sing along to songs like "For You", "The Old Apartment", and "Jane".

I'm ashamed to say that I don't own their two most recent albums because of a breakup with my last boyfriend. All of their music had a special memory attached to it which made it impossible to hear even a few notes of any of their songs. Sounds vaguely like a Barenaked Ladies song, no? Now that I've passed the chunk of time it usually takes to get over someone, I'm able to enjoy their clever lyrics and fun musical arrangements all over again, as if it were brand new. I've missed their funky, goofy, upbeat tunes so much that it was actually a relief to hear them again, especially live. I clapped, jumped up and down, and sang with them at the top of my lungs and felt as if I were part of them creating the melodious sounds that filled the hall that connected us all together. In fact, there was a moment during the show when I realized I could die right there and I would be completely happy. How many times in your life have you been able to say that? Needless to say, I'll be running out to get their two latest CDs and will have them both memorized by week's end.

Here's the 99% almost sure set-list in the order they were played:

Wind it Up
King of Bedside Manor
Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank
These Apples
The Old Apartment
Some Fantastic
Never Do Anything
Upside Down
For You (totally acoustic, totally amazing)
Sound of Your Voice
Too Little Too Late
Take it Back
Pinch Me
Jane
It's All Been Done
One Week
Brian Wilson

After Upside Down, Ed shared with the audience that he had an injury from the previous night's show: a split fingernail. He said, "But it only hurts when I strum down." Steven replies, "Well, don't strum down then!" He went on to describe some gory details about how distractingly painful it was and I realized that Kevin had begun to play on the keyboard a George Winston song from his Linus, Lucy and Charlie Brown album. It was perfect. It's the little things like that which make the Barenaked Ladies an amazing band to see live because it’s in that moment, right there, where the real magic happens.

1st Encore:
Easy
If I Had $1000000

As per usual, during their live performance of "If I Had $1000000", the guys took a few minutes in the middle of the song to have a chat about whatever was on their minds in regards to the things they'd buy if they had a million dollars...this time they talked about how they'd have to get a different kind of fridge for the tree fort to hold all the non-trans-fat foods that NYC is possibly soon to ban in all restaurants. Steven made sure to tell us he's been keeping up on current events for NYC and we were all quite impressed. “A trans-fat-free tree fort in NYC.” Funny stuff, Steven, funny stuff.

2nd Encore:
Alcohol

As the end of "Alcohol" neared, the jammin' climax put Ed and Steven in the mood to let the audience rock out by carrying their guitars by the necks and lowering them along the front of the stage with each eager fan strumming the strings to make their once in a lifetime contribution to the BLAM! tour. I have to say that to all of you skeptics out there, just give them a chance. I have a feeling that even though you may not have a million dollars, they will definitely make you feel like it.

Thanks to the Barenaked Ladies for making this a fantastically memorable experience, for doing your thing and making our days just a little bit brighter and definitely more fun.

The Barenaked Ladies are:
Steven Page
Ed Robertson
Tyler Stewart
Jim Creeggan
Kevin Hearn

Barenaked Ladies

Two Major Good News Flashes

2006-08-25T10:29:00.000-04:00

Finally, some good things have come to pass during this very troubled year, also known as: 2006.

1) FDA Approves Sale of 'Morning-After' Pill — Over-the-counter access allowed

"WASHINGTON -- The Food and Drug Administration yesterday approved nationwide over-the-counter sales of the ``morning-after " pill to adults 18 and older, after a three-year debate that pitted conservatives against liberals and FDA leadership against the agency's own scientists.

Duramed , a subsidiary of Barr Pharmaceuticals Inc. , said the drug, Plan B , will be available over-the-counter by the end of the year.

Plan B, which is taken in a two-pill dose, prevents pregnancy by stopping the ovary from releasing an egg and may also prevent fertilization. It works best when taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex.

The drug currently costs between $25 and $40 a dose; Barr has not set the price for the version that will be sold over the counter. It can be sold only by stores that have a licensed pharmacist on duty and must be kept behind pharmacy counters, not in store aisles. Under the ruling, stores are authorized, but not required, to sell the drug, and pharmacists are not required to dispense it.

Yesterday's decision will not have a significant impact in Massachusetts, where a state law passed last year allows consumers of all ages to purchase the drug without a doctor's prescription."

Finally, women have access to emergency contraception without a prescription. It's about goddamn time...enough of the debate already. It's over and done with. Let's move on.

2) US Firm Reports Making Stem Cells Without Harming Embryos

"A US biotechnology company has developed a new way of creating stem cells without destroying human embryos, billing it as a potential solution to a contentious political and ethical debate. “This will make it far more difficult to oppose this research,” said Robert Lanza of Advanced Cell Technology, the Alameda, California.

Stem cell researchers were impressed by the new technique’s ability to produce two robust lines of stem cells without requiring the destruction of embryos, and a White House spokeswoman called it encouraging. However, few on either side believe the new procedure would end the long-running bitter impasse over the science.

Stem cells have become a sort of holy grail for advocates of patients with a wide variety of illnesses because of the cells’ potential to transform into any type of human tissue. But the Vatican, US President George W. Bush and others have argued that the promise of stem cells should not be realised at the expense of human life, even in its most nascent stages."

Well, the Bush administration won't like either of these things....too fucking bad, I say. It's time to let scientific discoveries help us heal those who are ailing from serious diseases such as Parkinson's and Alzheimer's and also cancer, and possibly even heart disease.

Let's hope that these two victories will help the Democrats in some way to take back control. For more info on how to help, check out MoveOn.org

Cheers to Moving On!

My List: Hate and Love

2006-08-24T18:29:00.000-04:00

I thought I'd get a list going and maybe even inspire others to start a list as well. I'm doing it because I think it will help me get a bunch of stuff off my chest, which has slowly been suffocating me over the past couple of days. Sorry to start with the negative, but oh well.…guess it shows my current mood. (In no particular order)

I Hate:
Long fingernails
People who lick their fingers after eating
Sound of chewing with mouth open
Sound of chewing ultra-crunchy food with mouth closed
Men who don't let ladies go first
Men who don't hold doors
Men who ogle
Men who make hissing, smooching, kissing, whistling noises to get your attention on the street
People who try to hard to be funny when they're not funny at all in any way
Nasty ass perfume that gets into my nose, throat, lungs and eventually out through my pores as if I'm wearing it
Loud talkers
Quiet talkers
Over-enunciators
Under-enunciators
People who see that you have food in your teeth and don't tell you (bastards)
2 faced gossipers
Nasty ass perfume (bears a repeat in mention it's so bad)
Halitosis (especially from garlic)
Rotten egg farts a.k.a. SBDs (especially from someone other than myself)
Complainers (myself especially)
Whiners (again, myself included)
Teret-like tics that almost everyone has...tapping fingers, tapping toes, clearing throats, sniffing, smacking lips, etc.
Crowded subways
People who touch me without my consent (see "crowded subways")
Assholes who don't give up their seat to elderly or pregnant women! (super selfish prick bastards)
People who say one thing and mean another
Summer analysts and new analysts (ignorant fucks)
Time that goes too fast when enjoying myself (everytime I actually have fun)
People who think they can sing but really, really can't (and I don't mean in a karaoke sort of way because that's a given)
Stinky summer nasty New York streets and sewers
Laundry
Dishes
Annoying neighbors who're super loud all the time and have no clue that they're totally oblivious about it
Being irritable--seems there's no way to get rid of it except to just get drunk
PMS
Digital phones including cell phones-ALWAYS SOUNDS TERRIBLE
People who are just socially inept and that will never get a clue
Ignorance
Work
Yeast infections
That all food that's bad for you tastes good and that all food that tastes good is bad for you
Hair that falls out, esp mine
Mold and mildew
Hot and humid weather
That icky feeling on your tongue when you've eaten too much sugar/carbs
Country music
Death metal
Papercuts (it just gave me goosbumps even saying the word)
Bush
Terrorists
Tap water
Traffic
Bankers
NBC executives
Lawyers
Mostly all people who are in the service industry (drug stores, fast-food restaurants, department and grocery stores etc) because they're bitter and mean and they never say "You're welcome" when you thank them. Bastards.
Squeaky floors
High heels
Pollution (esp diesel fuel exhaust-i.e., buses in NYC)
People who can't make up their minds (I fall into this category too)
Money
Bills
Credit cards
Email restrictions at work
People who say they'll call and they don't (again, I'm in this too)
Over-actors
Drama
Miscommunication
Right-wing, ultra-religious zealots
Republicans
FoxNews, CNN, and all the others like them
Over-industrialized, urban areas
Grafitti
Trash
Litterbugs (this is YOUR city too, asshole!!)
Laziness
Negativity
Control freaks (I'm amongst the last 2 as well as this one)
People who dress like whores at work (i don't care how fit you are, i DON'T want to see your midriff!!)
Work
Bad tastes in the mouth, yuck.
Distilled water
Pussy-footing around
Liars
Cellulite
Offices
Billboards and advertisements that are EVERYWHERE!
Imagined entitlement (usually by those who are so closed off to the world)
Oppressors
Sitting all goddamn day long
Scammers and con artists
Overpopulation
New ultra-fearful security measures that are taking away our freedoms
Fucked up society
Selfishness (here I am again)
Cleaning the toilet
Getting dirt stuck in my lipgloss on my lips when a bus hauls ass and blows it off the street...ugh.
Hunger
Boredom
When time goes too slow when I'm in a place I'd rather not be (esp. work)
Making major life decisions
Thinking about death and dying
Anxiety
Worrying
Stress
Over-apoligizing (definitely me. Sorry...stop it!!)
Smelly refrigerators
Greasy hair (esp. on other people where you can really tell...gross)
Dobermans and poodles (what can I say?)
Pharmaceutically aimed doctors
Fat
Feeling tired, exhaustion
Slouching
Low self-esteem
Being a packrat
ALL CATS (there's NO changing that, ever)
Public bathrooms
Nosey fucking people who can’t mind their own goddamn business
People who sound surprised when someone answers the phone i.e., “OH, hello.”
Did I mention stinky perfume????
Dry skin
Goopy morning eyes
Fakers
Nearsightedness
Pooches (you know, that fat part just below the belly button, uck)
Fucking up and throwing colors in with the whites…dammit!
People who don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom
Having a little mouse in my house that I so desperately want out, but don't have the balls to kill it. (I actually cried just thinking about it)

I Love:
Coffee...anything coffee flavored, esp. ice cream, Frango’s, cookies, cakes etc.
Cheese
Shopping for clothes
Fluffy shape-shifting clouds
Air conditioning (goes both ways, actually)
Bellingham
A really good salad
NPR
Jazz
Money
Credit cards
Amy's Organic Pizza (and all of her stuff really)
Wine (I'm on a Chardonnay kick right now, but also love Pinot Grigio, Sauvignon Blanc, also love Sangiovese, Chianti etc)
Brie
Baguettes
Empanadas
Anarchistic music
French films
Italian films
Okay, all foreign films (because they're REAL)
Eddie Izzard
the Internet
Music
Seattle
Dancing
Dick's Drive-in and Burgermaster
Taco Time
Bandito's Burritos
Dairy Queen!
Food, food, and more food
Mobile music
Grunge era music esp pearl jam
Driving (esp. stick shifts)
Traveling
Writing
“Lost in Translation”
Keeping this journal and my blog
My family
My good friends
Love
Hope
The earth
Bill Murray
Aruba
Photography
Japanese culture (traditional and modern)
Tori Amos
Convenience
San Francisco
Flickr
Babies (not mine...haven't got any yet)
Warm weather and sun
Swimming
Sun bathing
Cooking
Thai food
Extended family
Water (only totally pure spring water--i'm such a snob i know)
Cuddling
Massages
Art (Davinci, Van Gogh, Degas, Monet, Girodet, Rodin, Mostly French and Italian, what can I say?)
Long walks on the beach (I just had to throw that in here)
Smell of rain on it's way in the summertime and the smell after it rains anytime
Flowers (irises, orchids, lilies)
Puppies and grownup dogs
Wilderness
Hiking
The San Juans
Ferry rides
Bike rides
Kisses
Sunsets
Fresh organic fruit and veggies
Sleeping in
Animal/Bird watching
Gardens
Lazy Sundays
Utne Reader
Spending money
Projects (art or otherwise)
Alone time
Friday night movies and dinner at home
Wandering around the city and making new discoveries
Reading books
Feeling connected spiritually
Getting away from it all
River rafting
Personal freedom
Naps
Laughing until it hurts
My brother
Modern Rock Classics (accuradio)
Video games (esp. Mario, Asterix & Obelix)
Getting a manicure
Getting a pedicure
Shopping for cds and dvds
Strawberry margaritas
Irish accents
Corsica
Lattes
People from Europe and Canada, and generally anywhere but the U.S.
Fresh squeezed orange juice
Breakfast at Madison Park Café (in 1997 I did at least)
Long, flowy skirts and dresses
Flip-flop thong sandals
Acupuncture
West (just West, okay, no other reason)
Disneyland (in 1997 I did at least)
“Amelie”
Ice cream sandwiches
Carmelized walnuts
Drumstick ice cream with the chocolate inside the cone(Nestle)
Being buzzed, not drunk
Not worrying about a thing
Mt. Rainier
Grilled cheese sandwiches
Tater tots
Mother Jones
Chocolate (esp. Dove, Lindt, Ritter Sport, Dagoba)
Whole Foods
Casa Vallarta (I’ll miss you!)
Nirvana
Senior Kegs (too bad I won’t have one again, well, maybe when I’m a real senior!)
Red Robin
The Boys and Girls Club
Jaime C.
“The Aruba”—Bacardi Coconut rum and pineapple juice
Caribbean
Watermelon
Blogging
Live music (mostly jazz and Dave Matthews)
Dave Matthews
Camping
Wine Tasting
Honesty
Yoga
Incense
SeaFair and the Blue Angels
Hanging out with friends at a bbq
Eating out (that’s where my laziness comes in)
My dad
Ballet
Tennis
Chicago
Tickling
Nephews
Getting caught in the rain
My juicer
Clean teeth
The immune system (esp when it’s really working well)
Eating for the first time after a fast
Frisbee
Feeling exhausted after a long, very active day with lots of exercise
Fall colors of the leaves
Feeling relaxed
Not being at work
Feeling thin and beautiful (rarely though it happens)
Summer afternoons
Ice cream
Iced tea
Pietro’s Pizza (you are missed as well)
Getting paid for hard work
Recognition for that hard work
Quiet time
Peace
Meditation
Speaking French
My mom
Pike Place Market
Tulips
Spud Fish and Chips
Salmon
Fresh Air
Miles Davis
Roller Skating
Slip n’ Slides
Treehouses
Summer Camp
Overnighters
Wild Waves
Enchanted Village
Trampolines
Bagel and Cream cheese
It when everything works out just fine
Celebrating
Weddings
High school reunions
Cucumber
“Singles”
Long drives
Olympic National Forest
Ocean
Latin accents
Friday nights
Harry Potter
The beach
Gelato
KPLU radio
Being bad when I wanna be
When the universe is being agreeable and all goes well

I may make edits or add more later, so deal with it.

3rd Annual Jim Thorpe Rafting Trip

2006-08-21T11:49:00.000-04:00

The 16
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

It's the day after another fantastic rafting trip with old friends and some new ones as well. One friend even drove out from Detroit just for the weekend. We had a great time out in Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania that started on Friday and went through Sunday with our half day of rafting on Saturday. It was a dam release weekend so there were more rapids than usual in August. Some parts of the river took a lot of work which resulted in some sore muscles the next day, in my case, the near inability to walk. I'm fine, just really, really sore. It was definitely worth it and we'll go back next year and every year thereafter if we can.

Margaritas and gourmet food, which included a deep fried turkey, yes, that's right, a deep fried turkey along with fire baked potatoes, corn, and even stuffing. The night before included the famous 7 layer dip (although I think after finally reading the label correctly, it actually says 6...but it tastes like 7!), deep fried egg rolls, crab cakes, popcorn chicken, chicken shish kebabs, and more. I have to give my personal thanks to Costco for providing us with our excellent menu for the weekend. Oh, did I mention that we had these delicious Jimmy Dean sausage and egg sandwiches that they grilled up for breakfast? Awesome. Thanks to Paul for manning the mini-grill each morning. And how can I possibly forget the smores! Thanks to Sonia for hooking us up with all the sweet treats.

I took over 150 photos of our super silly fun time and will eventually upload video to YouTube for all to see. Don't worry, you're names will never be released to protect your innocence...or not-so-innocence.

Enjoy!

~Happy

The Sickness of America

2006-07-26T17:12:00.000-04:00

The Sickness of America
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

I snuck this pic of this family...I couldn't help it...I hope you don't all hate me for posting this, but I just thought about how at the rate that most people are going, they could very easily end up like this. It's very sad to me and I wish that there was a better educational system in place to teach people at a young age to eat right and exercise.

There was a comment earier from another user...I wish he hadn't deleted it because I was hoping to spark a good discussion!

You're absolutely right about people of third world countries, they aren't as fat as people here, but they live in very different situations than the poor here. I'm talking about people specifically in urban settings where the government gives them subsidies to live off of, which isn't a lot. That money then has to go to pay for food and whatever else they need, and let me tell you, every time I go to my local grocery store in Long Island City near the first of the month, the lines are outrageously long with people who've just received their WICs...and what's in their carts? Cheese puffs, Hamburger Helper, Soda...usually many liters, along with hot dogs, white bread, bologna, Kraft American cheese, etc, etc...the point is, all the food is cheap, processed foods with very little, if any, nutritional value.

well, I wasn't really intending for it to be humorous...I just really wanted to make the point that it's a very serious problem here in America and that something more should be done about it to educate people to live a healthy lifestyle. But the other major point that's overlooked is economics. The lower class can't afford high quality, organic foods to sustain health and therefore are reduced to buying the "Dollar" meals and McDonalds or shopping at low-end grocery stores that focus on very inexpensive, highly processed foods.

Again, I don't want people to be offended or laugh at this...I just felt it was necessary to make the point.

I just feel that if we coupled better health education with less expensive healthy foods, we'd have less of a problem. I'm not saying it would be the magic bullet, but it would help. There's still a ton of lazy people in the world and that's they way they'll always be until something happens to them to "change their life".

The 6th Day Off the Cleanse

2006-07-07T08:34:00.000-04:00

Hello Everyone!

Happy Friday and happy belated 4th of July!

I'm now on my 6th day off of the cleanse and I feel pretty darn good! I'm just happy that I don't have to get up at 5am anymore...although I have to say that I wish I could so I could do some morning exercises before work. I think because I know that I don't "have to" get up (to do the salt water), then I just hit snooze like 2 or 8 times...next thing you know it's 6:30. I guess I just have to put it in my head that I "have to" get up so that I can exercise. We'll try that starting tomorrow!

So what have I been eating, you may be asking? Well, for the first day I had orange juice and watermelon. The next day I had more orange juice throughout the day, and more watermelon. Then Monday, I brought a lemonade, mango, orange juice, and watermelon. That night we went to a Mets game and I brought more mango, watermelon, and OJ with me...although the smell of the hotdogs was killing me! I did fine though. The 4th of July I decided to try more solid foods since the mango went down so well. I had my first bowl of GUACAMOLE! It was so amazingly good! Doing the cleanse really makes you appreciate every little bite so that you don't eat to excess. After I had that, I made a salad for us to eat, for Joe it was a side to his rib-eye steak that he grilled on our new little $25 propane grill. The salad was perfect: chopped organic hearts of romaine, tomatoes, celery, cucumber, chopped walnuts, onion, garlic, sea salt, pepper, olive oil, and a squeeze of a lemon. Then, I became very brave...I had a few bites of the grilled salmon filet that we decided to make as well. OMG...to die for! I felt a little full though after eating all that throughout the day..my guacamole was for lunch so it wasn't like I totally pigged out! ;-)

The past couple of days I've slowly been reintroducing other foods. I had the rest of that salad for lunch on the 5th along with an orange and this interesting combination of chopped celery, chopped dates, and sliced banana for breakfast. It was quite good! A little sweet for me, but good. Then I had to go to Whole Foods (on a mostly empty stomach...bad idea) and I ended up getting so much food...all raw and organic. It really feels great to know that what I'm buying to put into my body is as healthy as I can get to maintain all that I accomplished over those 21 days. I bought lots of veggies, fruits, and "raw" snacks, made of nuts and seeds and spices...pretty good! I had a snack on the way home which I think was a little tough to digest...I had a little tummy ache, but I know it was just too soon to eat it, but that one day I'd be able to enjoy it.

That night, I made this fantastic soup--Gazpacho style "raw": tomatoes, red and yellow peppers, onions, 1 avocado, garlic, basil, dill, sea salt, pepper, olive oil, sun dried tomatoes, and raisins (to add a little sweetness) all chopped and then blended together in the blender et voila! It is AMAZING. I had several tastes of it and couldn't wait to have a bowl. You'd never imagine how good cold, raw soup can be until you try it! So I had that for lunch yesterday and will have it again today. For the rest of the day, I had fruit and orange juice for breakfast (all eaten slowly before noon) my soup at about 2pm, then a snack at 4pm of dried apple rings and almonds. Then I had guacamole again for dinner but this time I had a few brown rice crackers to complement it. Delicious.

So I'm doing my best to eat as raw and healthy as possible to keep of the 1 inch that I got rid of and to hopefully get rid of another inch...I just have to incorporate cardio exercise and yoga/pilates/Callanetics...then I'll be set! I feel great, happy, a little sluggish because my body isn't used to digesting, but that will pass. Today I have quite a bit of energy though so that's good.

Tonight I will step beyond what I have been eating this week: sushi! I'm so excited. It really will be wonderful...it's one of my most favorite foods ever. I'll have to take it easy and not go overboard, but I think a salad will help curb my desire to wolf down every piece that comes to us. Hey, we might even go upstairs and sing a little karaoke to celebrate!

So that's that! Did you catch that I lost an inch all around?? Pretty cool, huh? I've been able to wear jeans that I haven't worn in over 5 years! I think I need to buy new ones in a smaller size! (insert Lissa jumping up and down and cheering like mad). I also have an incentive to stay on the right track because we just booked our September trip back to Aruba!! That bikini doesn't look quite so scary now.

Stay tuned for more posts...and these will be like my old ones...enough about the cleanse already!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

~Happy

DAY 21! End of the Master Cleanse

2006-07-01T10:52:00.000-04:00

Good Morning!

Day 21. 21 days without eating a single thing...unbelievable. And it was all for health reasons, but I got lucky and lost a few inches along the way. Yeah!

I did my tea last night, woke up at about 4:30 for the usual bathroom run...the amount of stuff and the smell (yuck!) is incredible after this amount of time. You really don't have any idea how much crap you carry around until you do one of these cleanses. I'm convinced that the only way to get it all out and to go down the path of increased health, you must do one of these to create a clean slate, so to speak. I know that I haven't gotten rid of it all, but it's a start. That's why I will do a cleanse approximately every 4 months. The next one will only be 10 days, but now that I've done 21 days, 10 will be a breeze.

I came home from work last night, the house to myself and I changed into my workout clothes and dove right into my exercises. I did an hour of Callanetics and MAN am I sore today! It feels great though, to know that I did something good for my body. Then I made my last lemonade of the evening and played my video game (yes...I'm still a kid in that sense, always love a good video game!) Then I made my last lax tea and settled in for a little Harry Potter and then dozed off. I had a good rest and I feel only slightly tired, but I know that once all the salt water has passed, I'll feel energetic and ready to go out and have a fun day.

Once done with this post, I need to go and make my lemonades for the day to carry with me. I think we're going to check out a few street fairs and maybe go to the park and sit in the sun for a bit. The day is wide open.

Starting tomorrow, I get to have orange juice throughout the day, most likely alternating with the lemonade. The same goes for Monday as well. Tuesday and Wednesday will still be liquid, but I will start to incorporate other fruits, like watermelon. Thursday will be juice during the day and then I can probably give the veggie soup a go that night. It's all about seeing how my body feels with each day. Then, depending on how the veggie soup goes, I can have that each night until probably Saturday, then Sunday I will introduce "solids", like a salad, or solid apples. Then I just go slowly, day by day for a while to see how everything feels. I ordered my juicer on Thursday and they said I should get it by this coming Wednesday (because of the holiday). I can't wait to try out all these fantastic recipes for juices!

All in all, it's been an amazing journey of discovery for me. I've learned to be strong, stay motivated, and I found self-discipline that I never knew I had. I feel that if I can do this, I can pretty much do anything I put my mind to.

I will be back to let you know what's going on with me and the transition to regular foods. Oh, and I'm also going to take my measurements later today to see where the inches stand!

To Good Health and Happiness,

~Happy

1 Year of Happy Gillmore!

2006-06-23T10:53:00.000-04:00

I completely forgot that Wednesday was my 1 year anniversary on blogger as Happy Gillmore! Wow...it's so amazing to look back and read about this last year and everything that was going on in my life as well as other's. Quite a change.

Hopefully you'll be seeing much more of Happy, but without the alias and hopefully on printed paper!

Thanks everyone who's been following me along my journey and supporting me by reading and commenting on the blog. It really means so much to me *sob*, so I thank you.

Cheers to 1 year!

~Happy

The Master Cleanser!

2006-06-11T08:33:00.000-04:00

I've recently decided on a bold undertaking. I am going to fast for 10 days and drink only a mix of fresh lemon juice, grade b maple syrup, water, and cayenne pepper. In addition to this drink that I can have up to 12 times a day, I will, upon waking, drink 32oz of Celtic Sea Salt water and wait for the inevitable results while sitting upon the porcelain throne. Lastly, I will be able to drink one cup of "Smooth-Move" laxative tea before drifing off to sleep.

Why, you may ask, am I putting myself through this? Well, I was sick for almost the entire month of May and managed to put antibiotics, over-the-counter cough supressing drugs, and a ton of bad food into my system, so much so that by month's end, I felt as if I were perpetually sleepy, colonically bogged down, irritable, and many, many other symptoms which may be too gruesome to divulge here on this blog.

After seeing several of my friends at work do this "Master Cleanse" they told me that they felt completely rejuvinated, energetic, happy, and healthy. They also looked stunning; they actually glowed! I decided that it was time for me to join the ranks of millions of other people who have seen their state of health come back to balance.

Today is my first day. Last night I took my first cup of tea to get things moving for the morning. I was not, however, looking forward to my salt water flush that would require chugging 32oz of salt water. The results are meant to be phenomenal and it is necessary as a part of the cleanse to do it. I'll tell you this: once done, I ran, sprinted rather, to the loo and let loose the beginnings of the toxins that have clouded my system for possibly my entire life. Then throughout the day I will drink as much of the "lemonade" as I need and then start the cycle all over again tomorrow.

This blog will be my journal for the next 10 days to keep you all posted with the process. I will warn you now, there may be some graphic details about what I am about to go through, so please take caution when reading after eating a meal.

Okay, I'm off to start a new chapter of health in my life! Wish me luck!

~Happy

The Birthday: 30

2006-05-24T08:15:00.000-04:00

When I sit back and reflect upon the past 30 years, I feel that I have indeed accomplished a lot more than I originally thought. I've survived through many difficult situations and I've enjoyed all of the good times to my best ability. I've realized, however, that time truly is not of the essence; just the here and now. I've learned that there is no controlling the future or changing the past, which I believe is something that eventually happens to everyone if they truly awaken to their lives and who they are. "Knowing yourself deeply has nothing to do with whatever ideas are floating around in your mind. Knowing yourself is to be rooted in Being, instead of lost in your mind." E. Tolle ~ A New Earth

A new chapter has begun in the book of my life and I hope that I will be able to share with you my experiences of this journey of awakening through my writing.

Thank you to all of you who have supported me through the years. Your kindness and generosity are greatly appreciated.

With love and peace,
Lissa

"The snow falls, each flake in its appropriate place." ~Zen saying

V

2006-04-11T11:36:00.000-04:00

remember remember

i saw this alone last night, something that I needed to do. i had heard most amazing reviews of natalie, my now all-time favorite actress, and of hugo, my also now all-time favorite actor.

i found myself walking down the street and having heard very little about this film, i decided that my curiosity was too strong to deny.

tears, shock, horror, pain, sadness, relief, and wonder. all of which experienced me during the 131 minutes of the film.

the depth and intensity are almost unbearable, but not to the extreme that you must leave the theater...just enough to procure thoughts from the subconscious that might not otherwise have made an appearance during wakefulness.

love...is it truly that attainable or is it completely elusive?

freedom of fear is the answer to all.

v-vendetta-

Chicago

2006-04-05T10:05:00.000-04:00

View of the South
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

I wanted to post this so you all can have access to all the photos we took while in Chicago. This is one of my favorites taken from Hancock Tower near sunset.

Enjoy!

"My Kind of Town, Chicago Is"...sinatra

2006-04-03T16:29:00.000-04:00

Chicago, the land of broad shoulders, the windy city, the place to be, for me that is.

I went to Chicago for the first time, well, the first real time, last time I drove through it during rush hour on my way across country, shower less for days and under an extreme cloud of fatigue.

This time we went for the weekend, a Friday through Monday at full throttle. I was terribly excited for our impromptu getaway from the monotony that is New York at the present moment. To prepare for the trip, we threw a few bites in the oven and Joe surprisingly concocted a little on-board beverage placed oh so inconspicuously in a Gatorade bottle. They would never know unless they smelled it.

We grabbed our goods and headed for the train that would ultimately drop us off next to the bus that would then get us to our terminal at LaGuardia airport. It went a lot more smoothly than expected, I gather it was because we were slightly buzzed from our pre-travel beverages at home.

Once we got into the terminal, we looked around for the check-in kiosks and tried to work these unfamiliar machines when we felt two hands upon our shoulders. It was our good friend Steve, aka “Shorty” (the ironic nickname for a 6’6” guy) He works for LaGuardia as a TSA (I was trying to come up with my own definition for the acronym: titty sucking asses, I don’t think that’s what it really means though). Shorty helped us through the check-in process and took care of our bag. We chatted with him for a few minutes and then we headed to our gate for boarding. Prior to boarding, we sat and talked in a semi-secluded area of the terminal. The only things around us were a few classic arcade games, the bathrooms, and strangely enough, about ten mice running around from here and there looking for crumbs. I was completely surprised and disgusted, yet I couldn’t look away. The site of so many little critters scurrying around for food was so compelling to me. Yet I was certain to pick my bag up from the floor.

We had some heavy discussions and started to work through some long-lived issues between us. Little did we know that this would actually be a good thing, fighting in the airport on a Friday night with mice running around us.

We made some initial resolutions and decided to get on the plane. It was the best decision ever. This would be the real beginning of our weekend in Chicago.

The flight was uneventful and we made it there in just over two hours. Unfortunately it was already dark so we couldn’t see the lake on our way in, but the illumination from below made up for it. The lights of the city were absolutely stunning and I couldn’t wait to get on the ground.

Once we touched down, we excitedly found our way to the baggage claim, then onto the entrance of their “L” train, purchased our tickets for the weekend, and headed to our home for the next three days. The trains are definitely different there than the ones here in New York. Much smaller, upholstered seats, and one fantastic difference, the automated announcer tells you which side of the train the doors will open at the next stop. You never had to guess and were able to stand in the doorway if the train was packed.

After about thirty minutes, we arrived at our stop, Damen on the Blue Line, in Wicker Park, an upcoming artistic community that we would soon feel right at home in, and got off the train. This was an elevated stop and therefore we could see the city skyline behind us as we walked down the stairs. I noticed gorgeous artwork on the walls, finished wood handrails, and boardwalk-style platforms and steps. They even had an ATM at the newsstand. I loved this place already.
We walked through the neighborhood which was so peaceful for a Friday night, except for the few people here and there at some of the low-key lounges along Damen street.

We made it to the house that was so generously lent to us by our new dear friends Dan and Dexter. It was like walking into a museum of modern art. The colors and textures of the wall made it feel cozy yet fashionable. It was absolutely amazing. We felt truly honored to be there as their guests. I even saw the work of my uncle above the fireplace. Once we were finished ohhing and aaahing, we settled in, unpacked, and got ready to go to sleep because we had an early morning and a long day ahead.

We woke at about 7:30 after a not-so-good night sleep because it was an unfamiliar place. We got ready and headed into the city. It was a beautifully sunny day with a brisk breeze off the lake. We ended up getting crappy egg sandwiches from Cosi because Nookie’s was too far north. Note to self, never eat anything from Cosi ever because it’s completely overpriced and overrated.

After choking down our poorly prepared breakfast, we hopped on the L and headed towards the Aquarium and the Planetarium. We decided to go and do the indoor things today because initially it was supposed to snow throughout the day. The weathermen were wrong! It was a gorgeous day which we took advantage of later on. We joined the herds of people within the aquarium and the planetarium and admired all of the amazing species of fish then went on to see an interactive planetarium show about the universe. It was fantastic and exhausting all at once.

Once we got as much out of these tourist stops, we decided to walk along the water up to Navy Pier. This is similar to the Seaport in that there’s a lot of shops and restaurants all along the water. Here they have a Ferris wheel and a few other fun activities. We tried to get in at Bubba Gump but apparently everyone and their brothers were in Chicago for spring break and were waiting to have lunch at this particular place. We just wanted margaritas and maybe an appetizer since we’d planned on having a nice steak dinner that night. Plans changed when we couldn’t get in at Bubba Gump so we walked back toward the city and stumbled upon PJ Clarke’s. There’s one here in NY that I went to only two weeks before. We shared a bottle of wine, an order of crab cakes and a baked goat cheese dip with garlic bread rounds. It was pretty good. Once we got our fill and some asshole decided to light up a cigar, we decided to head out and check out more of the city. We walked over to Michigan Avenue which is also known as the Magnificent Mile, very similar to 5th Avenue here in NY. All the Guccis, Louis, and Ralphs are there. It’s also where the world headquarters for Wrigley and WGN are located. We stopped in at Walgreens to get some postcards for Joe and some pantyhose for me. We finally got a map of Chicago which includes a subway map. This was a wise investment as we would later discover.

One bizarre thing we noticed were how many teens there were wandering around and wearing flip-flops. It was 40 degrees outside with a frigid wind blowing around! I guess we’ll never know why. As we walked down Michigan Ave., we saw a long line of people standing outside this Chicago Popcorn shop. The line was easily thirty people long. Later we found out that the popcorn was a special blend of caramel and cheese. No joke. Apparently it’s really good…I guess we’ll have to save that for next time.

We took in a few more sights then decided we needed to get on the train and head back to the apartment to change for dinner. I actually brought a skirt and blouse and Joe brought his new suit. We looked damn good. We hopped back on the subway and got off near the restaurant. We’d planned on eating at this place called Stetson’s at the Hilton/Hyatt/Sheraton…one of those hotels on Wacker Drive. After having called earlier in the week and asking to make a reservation and with their reply of, “No reservations are necessary”, we walked in, said table for two, and were then informed that it would be a 45 minute wait. We were dumbfounded. Stupid hotel restaurants. We were screwed. So, after a few moments of anger, I persuaded Joe to get us over towards where we were going later, which was a surprise to me. We got over there within about fifteen minutes and found that every single restaurant in the area had a wait of at least 45 minutes. Again, feelings of frustration were talking their toll, but just a moment later, I spotted a tapas place called 1492 at the end of the block. I said, “Let’s go and check this place out. You never know.” We tentatively walked over there and saw that the bar was empty, minus a very homely lesbian couple, so we opted to go in. The rest of the place was buzzing, but we knew we could order tapas at the bar and have some sangria. The staff was absolutely amazing, totally friendly and quick. It was the best restaurant experience that we had in Chicago.

After a few plates of camarones al ajo, croquetas de pollo, skewered steak with fries, and a pitcher of sangria, it was time for us to head out to the surprise of the evening. Fortunately we were only a couple of blocks away so with only five minutes to spare for our 9pm reservation, we left in a hurry and made it on time.

We walked up to a hotel called the Peninsula, interestingly enough, one of only eight in the world. We went up to the main lobby to be welcomed by a jazz trio with a sultry female singer leading them from ballads to more upbeat numbers. I immediately smiled with delight to know that he went through so much trouble to arrange such a wonderful surprise. I now knew why he was so upset that our earlier plans for dinner hadn’t worked out, but ultimately, it all worked out for the better.
In addition to the live jazz, there was this gigantic round table with about four tiers with everything chocolate that’s imaginable, including chocolate soup. We opted out on the chocolate frenzy partly because I don’t have much of a taste for sweets anymore and the fact that it was $26 per person. We decided to splurge on other treats: flavored martinis. I had the chocolate espresso and Joe had the green tea martini. They were delicious.

We were seated at a table right near the window directly in front of the band. After the first couple of songs, Joe joined me on my side of the table so he wouldn’t crink his neck and so he could sit next to me. It was by far the best night we’ve had in a very long time and we enjoyed it to the fullest.

We were inspired to dance a few numbers after watching this adorable little Jewish couple swirl around the floor with such joy. The evening sadly ended at midnight, our carriage was about to turn into a pumpkin and we had to get home. We hopped in a cab and actually had the notion to stop in at one of Wicker Park’s neighborhood bars. Once we stepped foot inside, we turned right around and walked out. It was so terribly smoky that I knew I’d be miserable the next day. We were really tired at this point and decided to go home to bed.

Sunday morning was unlike Saturday. I was totally hung over from those martinis and it took me over an hour to get going. I knew we were going to Chicago Art Institute and that we absolutely needed to get breakfast, but I was feeling so lousy that it took all my energy to muster the ability to get moving.

I got some Gatorade in me, a small bag of Cheetos and took a hot shower. I felt better already. Off we went, slowly, but surely. We found a place to have a sit down breakfast. It was bustling this beautiful Sunday and turns out it was a Kosher deli/restaurant. I was cool with that, I could get some blessed eggs and Joe decided to try Matzo ball soup, which he, and I, ultimately didn’t like. Just a little to plain for our tastes. I got my toast, eggs, and potatoes, a little coffee and I was feeling about eighty-percent better. I still had that weird feeling lingering over me which turned out to last for the remainder of the day. I should’ve known better than to have 3 martinis in 3 hours. Yikes!

Once we finished talking about starting a potato business, more on that later, and gulped the last of our water, we walked over to the Art Institute. On the way, I called The Chicago Chop House to make reservations for our steak lunch on Monday since we missed our steak dinner on our first night. I couldn’t wait to get in. They have some of my favorite pieces in the world that I’ve been dying to see. Van Gogh’s self-portrait, Picasso’s The Old Guitarist, the Dadaists: Magritte, Man Ray, Duchamp, Piet Mondrian, Monet’s Houses of Parliament and the Haystacks, Water lilies, Georges Seurat’s A Sunday on La Grande Jatte (the pointillism park scene), Salvador Dali, Georgia O’Keeffe, and one that we totally missed, Grant Wood’s American Gothic, you know the one with ma and pa farmer with the pitchfork? Damn. Next time. Oh another one we got to see was Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks…the famous corner diner scene. And my ultimate new favorite on special exhibition, Girodet’s The Burial of Atala. It was the most spectacular exhibition. Navy blue and red walls with gorgeous lighting, it created a very intense yet intimate atmosphere to truly be able to appreciate his brilliance. Interestingly, I’ve seen The Burial of Atala at the Louvre and at the Met prior to seeing at Chicago Art Institute. That’s why it was my favorite, I’d seen it so many times in very magical cities. Another of my favorites of his is Pygmalion and Galatea. [insert pic here]. My absolute favorite of them all is his “The Four Seasons”. I can’t even begin to describe it and I wish that there were print’s available for purchase. [insert crappy picture from the website] But I just found out that this show will be at the Met through May 24th-August 27th of this year!! So excited for that!

We took our time and saw as much as we could and decided we were starving. We were looking forward to eating pizza all day and so we headed on over to Gino’s. Wow, what a disappointment. I really wished we’d gone to the original Uno Pizzeria! Turns out they were the creators of the Chicago style deep dish pizza. Next time we’ll go there. Oh, the one cool thing about Gino’s is that they let everyone write all over everything. It’s sort of weird at first because it feels really dirty, but when you look closer you see thousands of names of people who had once been there. We added ourselves to the wall next to our table, but we were a little more ingenious by following the example of our predecessors. We took part of the paper menu/placemat, wrote our names and when we were there, blew out the traditional Italian red candle, poured wax on the paper and stuck it to the wall. Cool. We got our mozzarella sticks first, which were for about 4 people, so we didn’t exactly have the stomach for the pizza afterwards. It all worked out because I took it to go and as we walked up Michigan avenue on our way to see the sights, I found a hungry homeless man to give it too. Later on that evening we walked by that same way and saw that he ate the whole thing.

We still had to go and check out Hancock Tower, the best view of Chicago from 1,000 feet up. We had bought the City Pass so it was included in the price. We walked up, got our tickets then had to wait in line for about 30 minutes. That part wasn’t fun, but it paid off once we got to the top. Absolutely spectacular. It was about 6pm and the sun was going down in just a few minutes. We spent an hour up there looking at everything we could, taking pictures, and finally enjoying the sunset.
We didn’t have any other plans for that evening so we walked around for a bit and settled on Bandera, a shi shi Latin grill on Michigan Ave. We sat at the bar and ordered a bottle of wine while a jazz trio played in the corner. It was surprisingly nice and not pretentious in the least. Joe pointed out that we were at the bar and not sitting in the restaurant. I agreed and mentioned how people at the bar tend to be social and fun because they’re drinkers!

After we finished our wine, an hour and a half later, I noticed Virgin Megastore through the window and had the urge to go and look for a few DVDs, one silly one in particular: Adventures in Babysitting, mostly because it was filmed in Chicago and I wanted to watch it in a new light after finally having been to the windy city. Joe didn’t disagree, but I knew what he was thinking. We have a tendency to go buck wild in there because of all the sales. I told him, “Not this time!” Fortunately for us, the floor with the DVDs and world music were closed due to updating their inventory. It made sense because it was a Sunday night at almost ten o’clock and I don’t think they expected many people to go and buy DVDs at that time. So we stayed downstairs and listened to new cds on the wall. I found a new favorite, Natasha Bedingfield…she’s got a funky style all her own with that touch of pop. Joe picked up a really fun Brazilian cd that we can listen to when we want to get transported back to the tropics during the cold winter nights

Since we’d eaten so heavily earlier in the evening, we wanted to do something light for a late dinner. I checked out a Time Out Chicago and tried to find a sushi place. Luckily, the cashier, this cool rocker dude named Todd gave us some great advice on our neighborhood. Turns out he lives in Bucktown which is literally up the street from where we were staying. He gave us all kinds of info on restaurants, bars, and even how much the rent was for a 1 bedroom. About $800 a month with a garden! I’m there! He recommended a few places so we decided to head back to our spot for some light Japanese food. I think it was called Blue Fin. It was delicious. We ordered a couple of appetizers and we shared a bento box with all kinds of goodies in it like shrimp tempura, sushi, chicken teriyaki, and salad with ginger dressing. We even got so daring as to see how much wasabi we could take. Man that stuff is killer. Note to self, don’t forget Belgian Frites with their wasabi mayo sauce. Unforgettable and utterly addictive. After we filled our senses with amazing food, we decided to head home for bed. Coincidentally, as we were walking across the street we hear someone yelling, “Hey, Hey!” We looked around and it was Todd from Virgin! He asked how our dinner was and told us of a few local bars that had live music. We thanked him again and wished him well on his way home. Off we went to sleep for our last day.

Monday was a little easier getting up, but I was feeling exhausted. We had planned on grabbing a quick bite, perhaps just muffins and coffee, then we were going to go and check out Powell’s of Chicago, the same as the one in Portland. I had a couple of books on my list and I figured they’d have them. Well, I didn’t check to see what time they opened so we had time to kill. We hopped on a bus up to the Art Institute because I wanted to get some postcards of some of the pieces we’d seen the day before. Now, I have to admit, I was feeling very sluggish, quite cranky and totally exhausted. I tried so hard to hide it, but it wasn’t working. We had a few misunderstandings, but eventually worked them out.

Turned out that the people at Powell’s, or at least at this one, this particular guy, didn’t have a damn clue about anything. I guess they don’t have a computer system to be able to check on their inventory, so there’s no way for him to find out if they have a certain title. I went in, walked downstairs then walked right back up. What a mess! I couldn’t begin to find anything at all, not even the books that I wasn’t looking for. I was so disappointed. I left, hashed things out with Joe, then we went on to Millennium Park.

It’s a beautifully designed park that just opened within the last year or two. Another Frank Gehry design of the Jay Pritzker Pavilion, an outdoor amphitheater, donned the park with curvy silver shapes. After admiring his work, we walked over to one of the buildings that we’d noticed throughout our stay to ask how tall and who the architect was. We thought it was the same architect of the World Trade Center, Minoru Yamasaki (Seattle born, 1912), only because it has the same tower-like design with the thin steel pillars stretching the height of the building. Turns out he also designed the Pacific Science Center and the Rainier Building and the IBM Building across the street in Seattle. Hmm…little bit of info for us all.

It turns out that it’s about 1,300 feet tall, actually taller than the Hancock Tower, but it has less floors…oh well, I tried.
After we walked through the lobby, we walked over towards the water thinking we’d make it to Navy Pier one last time, but we just decided to get to the restaurant a little early because we were starving. When we got there, it wasn’t a problem that we were early. It ended up being a good thing because our flight was scheduled for 5pm and we needed to be leaving the apartment no later than 3pm. So, we arrived a half an hour early so that we could enjoy our meal and not stress out about getting back.

We ordered a delicious bottle of fine Italian wine, clams casino as an appetizer, then the main courses. I ordered the filet mignon, he ordered the blackened rib-eye along with a side of creamed spinach. The meal was excellent except for just one small problem. Joe bit down on a piece of broken glass in his mashed potatoes. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t sure if he was going to say anything, but he did, and it turned out fine. Our waiter brought us another dish of potatoes and at the end of the meal, a lovely dessert of profiteroles in a chocolate mousse and whipped cream sauce. Delicious. But was it worth nearly cutting his mouth open? Hell yes.

After taking our sweet time and chatting with our waiter, we realized that it was after 2:30. It was going to take us at least twenty minutes to get back and we still had a few things to do when we got there. I had thrown our towels in the wash that morning and then put them in the dryer for an hour so I had to fold them and then put the sheets back on the futon. To my surprise, they weren’t dry! I couldn’t believe it. So I put them in for another hour, on high, as they were before hoping that they’d get dry. I was pissed because I wanted the house to be just as it was when we arrived. I left our hosts a nice note thanking them and explaining what happened. I think it’ll be fine.

So we packed at light speed, locked up, set the alarm one last time, and practically ran to the train. Thank god they live on the same train line as O’Hare or we’d have been in some serious trouble. It was a pleasant ride now that we could see our surroundings during the day and I actually, I couldn’t believe it, saw two deer in the middle of the freeway circular on-ramp, you know, those big grassy areas separating nature and development. It was beautiful yet very sad.

Only a few minutes to go and we’d be arriving at the airport. Little did I know that we’d be running a freakin’ marathon to get to our gate. It all turned out fine and we ended up with about a half an hour to wait.

It was another uneventful flight, but I was exhausted and not looking forward to getting up the next morning at six o’clock.

Thanks to Joe for a wonderful weekend getaway.

Seattle--January 2006 (it's a long one!)

2006-02-20T15:22:00.000-05:00

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Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Here is my belated recount of our trip to Seatown. Here's the quick and dirty:

Friday: Flew in over Seattle at approx. 11pm. Got to see Qwest field lit up in all it's pre-superbowl glory...also saw the illustrious 12th Man flag high atop the Space Needle. I have to admit, it excited me greatly. Once we got our bags, we were off to the most inconvenient rental car agency ever and had to deal with a totally condescending fuck-o. After that, we cruised up to the bro's for a hug, a beer, and a toilet stop before going to the guest room at the mother's place. Crashed hard.

Saturday: A surprisingly early awakening, then tried to get to Pancake Corral before the rush, but we were wrongly misled by thinking that we were "beating the rush" at 8:30am on a Saturday. Apparently all the old people in all of Bellevue were up at the crack of dawn planning their descent upon Chace's. Plan B: Hector's in Kirkland. Okay, this place used to be a smokey, hole-in-the-wall but has since been completely transformed into a semi-ski-lodge interior complete with a fantastic wine list, tantalizing appetizers, and best of all, chicken fried steak for breakfast. Oh. Yeah. After totally gorging on this deliciousness, we continued on with our morning and decided to catch a movie because we knew full well that no one that we were supposed to see that day (mother and brother) would be up for another couple of hours. Kirkland's theater had a selection of about 3 movies so we decided to check out this new Lincoln Center joint that everyone was talking about. We were just in time to see the animated hilarity known as "Hoodwinked". We sat through that laughing our asses off nearly pissing our pants (would've been even better if we'd had a little smokey-smoke beforehand, but since neither of us can do that, we enjoyed it in our natural high) Once the credits finished rolling, we headed out to my mom's to say hello and possibly nap before our forthcoming evening of debauchery with the parents, brother, and best friend
(recently home from her year-long tour in Iraq).

Nap time came and went and it was time to get ready. We had homemade margaritas then off we went to Daniel’s Broiler in Bellevue for fantastic bevvies and appetizers courtesy of my wonderfully generous step-dad, Dave. We laughed, we cried, we had an absolutely fabulous time with my family and friend. After spending an ungodly amount of money, or so I heard, we moved on to another fave of my parent’s: Sea Star. Excellent martinis and the best lobster bisque you’ll probably ever have in your life. More laughter, more tears, and more fun. We decided to go different directions so that just us “kids” could have some of our own time together. The Tap House had been suggested and off we all went for one last drink before heading home. After about an hour of having a great time together and also making fun of the “not so much my kind of crowd”, we all went home. Whew. What a first day. Did I mention that there’s only 8 more days to go?

Sunday: Feeling a bit hung-over and sluggish, we roused ourselves so that we could get a jumpstart on the day by going to Taco Time to pick up “breakfast”, take it over to the Dan’s, work on some of hubby’s homework online, wake up the Dan, then drive our butts down to Federal Way so we could bond with the other side of the family: dad, step-mom, and step-bro. The other major part of the agenda was to watch the NFC Championship football game, with a surprising appearance by the forever underdog team known as none other than the Seattle Seahawks. We’d also planned on sleeping over so we knew we could take it easy and recuperate from the previous night’s excessive indulgence. After four quarters of play, amazingly the Seahawks won and we celebrated a win with my family as well as with the entire Northwest who’d never once experienced an NFC championship with their favorite team. We all went to sleep with hopeful dreams of winning the Superbowl two weeks from then.

Monday: Casually woke up, dragged the brother out of bed, said, “Dad, see you in a couple days!”, drove up to Seattle and ate Honey Hole sandwiches until we all felt sick. The plan was to spend an afternoon with the Dan and hubby said it was okay to drop him off so he could go and explore (which eventually turned into a drink at Etta’s of all places). The Dan and I cruised up to Half Priced Books so that I could spend a whopping $15 on about 20 books. After we bonded and had great fun in a place that is almost more natural to us than even our own homes, we decided we were finished and it was time to move on and get my hubby. We collected him on the corner of 2nd Ave. and Virginia St., started driving and decided on the Fremont antique shop. After finding myself a really cute handbag for $15, we thought it was about time to get our drink on, again. It wasn’t crazy drinking like the night before last, but we did have a couple and the place was THE coolest. The Dan took us to Linda’s on Capitol Hill and I liked it so much I ended up buying a t-shirt. The crowd was so laid back, the staff couldn’t have been friendlier, and the drinks hit the spot. After a couple of hours there, we got the hungry pains (even though we didn’t think we’d be able to eat for days after those sandwiches), and consulted the Dan’s friend, jizosh on the best sushi joint on the Hill. Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten the name, but it was damn good. Thanks jizosh! Once our bellies were full yet again, we decided that sleep was the next inevitable step, especially since hubby and I were supposed to get up the next day at the ass-crack of dawn to drive up to Vancouver. Nighty, night we said, and off to sleep we went.

Tuesday: “Sigh!” “Yawn!”, but we were geared up and ready to hit the road, but not without a hearty breakfast, of course. Now, it was a Tuesday morning, and one would think that at about 8am, most people in the world would be getting ready for work or are at least on their way into work. Well, most of them. There were still a few who managed to find time on their busy Tuesday to EAT AT THE PANCAKE CORRAL! We did get a table right away, so I’m not complaining, but COME ON! This place is always, always packed. I mean, it’s good, but it’s really no different than any diner here in New York. I’m guessing it’s because there really aren’t any diners in the Bellevue/Seattle area except for Denny’s and IHOP, but those definitely do not count. Anyway, we enjoyed our breakfast of heart attack champions and then cruised on up to Vancouver. Oh, did I also mention that it rained every single day that we were there except for this day? We were so lucky! We actually got to see Mount Baker and all of the North Cascades on our drive up. Even better, we got to see the mountains that lie directly behind the grand city of Vancouver, all covered in snow. Beautiful. We crossed the border at about 10:30am and it went smoother than ever, aside from my usual, completely unnecessary anxious butterflies while answering the border agent’s questions. We wound through the streets of Vancouver, crossed the Granville Island Bridge and found our hotel in about 2 minutes. We were able to check in early, settle in, and then go out to explore the city by about noon. We weren’t hungry yet so we thought we’d do a little shopping, which actually wasn’t really on our list of things to do, but oh well. We both got really great stuff at super cheap so it was well worth it.

After shopping and walking and shopping and walking, we felt the hungry monster start growling in our tummies. We knew exactly where we wanted to go, too. Those of you who live in Seattle will wonder why on Earth we’d choose this place to eat and drink, but I assure you, if you go to the one in Vancouver, you won’t be disappointed and it’s also almost totally different, well, in terms of their menu. I'm talking about The Old Spaghetti Factory! It was awesome...2 times in a row! We ordered, as before when we were there in May, the white wine sangria (a pitcher of course), the popcorn shrimp, and last but not least, the pesto foccacia bruschetta. That’s the dish that’s out of this world. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. So don’t judge until you try! After stuffing ourselves at 3:30pm, we had more sights to see. We wanted to go back up to the Harbour Centre tower to have a drink and watch the sunset that was quickly getting ready to fall upon the city, but as we made it to the restaurant floor, they told us that they weren’t opening for another 30 minutes. Oh yeah, it’s winter...not spring. The timing was off and since we’d already done that, we thought, hey, let’s go and get a bottle of wine and take a dip in our hotel’s jacuzzi tub. We walked back, and before I forget, our hotel was located at the base of the Granville Street Bridge and each time we went out, we walked all the way to the other side...exactly 1 mile. Let’s see, we did this, oh, I think about 4 times. So, let’s just say that we were looking forward to a soak in the tub. That night we’d planned on going to the Thai restaurant, Simply Thai, that we went to in May because it was so damn good. So after the delicious bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and a little television, which, by the way, was when we heard about the border shutting down because of these fugitives on the loose trying to get into Canada. There was a shooting and the cars drove all over the lawn at the Peace Arch. Apparently this happened just a couple of hours after we crossed over. Weird.

Anyway, after that, we went into the jacuzzi that looks out from the top floor onto the bridge below. We watched what was left of the sunset, got super relaxed, and then went to get ready for dinner. We dressed a little more warmly and had a nice walk to the restaurant. This one, however, is only a couple of blocks away, not a mile away. The second we walked in the door, the woman who waited on us the last time, immediately recognized us and welcomed us in to sit down. We felt great at how she remembered us from months before, especially since that was our first and only time there. We had a lovely dinner along with wonderful hospitality from the staff, then casually strolled about the streets of Yaletown stopping to take the occasional random photo of shop windows and parked cars. After about a half an hour of walking through the quaint streets of the city, we decided to head back to the hotel to rest up for another action packed day in Vancouver.

Wednesday: To my great surprise, I woke up before my hubby and I was able to get some amazing photos of the sunrise outside of our hotel room. Once I was able to get him up, we got ready and checked out of our room. We asked about a good breakfast spot in the neighborhood and were told to check out The Elbow Room. According to the concierge from our hotel, it’s the kind of place that has fantastic food, but the service is deliberately lacking. In fact, you may even get yelled at or “elbowed” if you give them too much attitude. It’s all in good fun though and honestly, I think it was one of the best breakfasts that I had while in Seattle. After breakfast, we had some unfinished shopping to attend to, so we did our usual 1-mile hike over to the shopping centre (you like that, in Canadian style!), picked up some clearance items at a store that was going out of business (you can’t beat that), then came back to our car and found our way over to Granville Island. It was a little drizzly, but we were able to walk around the island to see what was going on. We decided to check out Granville Island Brewery, or GIB as the locals call it, and we thought about getting a pint even though we’d just stuffed our faces with breakfast only an hour and a half ago. We ended up going to The Keg of all places to have the beer because the taproom at the brewery was dead. No music, no people. Only a few picnic tables and beer taps.

So we walked over to The Keg and I tried the Cypress Honey Lager, which was excellent. The one that I really wanted to try was the Kitsilano Maple Cream Ale that has a touch of real Canadian maple syrup. The only place that had it was back at the brewery so I decided that the Honey Lager would do just fine. It was so surprisingly refreshing, even on such a dull and dreary winter day. Let’s just say it went down real smooth. After our midday brew taste, we kept on walking and found ourselves right in the middle of the actual market; filled with loads of fresh produce, meats, cheeses, pastries, and the much anticipated soup of the day. We wandered aimlessly for about a half an hour, realized that our parking time was nearly up, thought we’d head out down to Bellingham, but then found a spot right in front of the market for free. Ultimately we changed our minds because of that free spot, had some delicious food, including the much sought after soup on my hubby’s part, and managed to find some delicious tarts and mini-pies for dessert at my aunt and uncle’s house for later that night. Once we finished our meal, we went outside for a few pictures along the waters of False Creek, which is the waterway that the Granville Island Bridge goes over. We decided that it was time to head out just to make sure that we could get through the border even if there was a back-up. We got through just before the rush, had no problem with the customs agent, in fact, we chatted with her for an extra minute or two about how she was originally from upstate NY. Once we got into the States, we headed down towards Bellingham to check out the scene before heading to Mike and Diane's. We popped into my once frequented "Beaver Inn" on State Street, but at that time, the only people in there were the regulars who drink at 4pm every single day of their lives. It was a sign to leave when I had forgotten my drivers license back in the car. We ended up going to Boundary Bay brewery and sampling some of their finest ales and lagers. We left after about an hour and a half and then got on the road out to Everson. It was a nice drive and brought back a bunch of memories from when I lived up there during school. I briefly forgot which turn to take so we got lost for about 5 minutes, then were fine. We arrived only a little late and had a wonderful reunion dinner. It was so great to be able to see the family again so soon. The last time we were up their way was back in May. We stayed for a while, took a couple of pictures, then remembered that we had a 2 hour drive back to my mom's house. It was fine except that I was beginning to get sleepy so we just took our time and had a great conversation. When we finally pulled into their driveway, it couldn't have been a sweeter sight for sore eyes. We hit the hay and hard.

Thursday: We got up after sleeping as much as we could without over-sleeping, then headed out to take care of some important business: buying Frango's to take home and some other last minute shopping. We stopped in at Westlake Mall to grab a cup of soup since we knew that we'd be going to Spud later that day with my dad for lunch. We totally overspent on this stupid soup which in my opinion, wasn't that great anyway. Then we continued on over to Macy's and I found my beloved Frango's that I hadn't had since about 10 years ago. I bought 2 boxes...one small coffee assortment and one huge ass regular assortment. Jesus...and we're still eating them except that we don't really like the blueberry/raspberry ones, so I may bring those into work so that they'll be eaten within minutes. Then we walked around a bit and decided we wanted to go and check out Uwagimaya to pick up some goodies for the rest of the trip. We got some summer sausage for our appetizers with mom and Dave, a bag of shrimp chips, and something else but I can't remember right now what it was. Then it was time to skedaddle and meet up with my dad out in West Seattle for the most awesomest seafood ever: Spud!!! It was a decent day and we could actually see Bainbridge Isl. from Alki Pt. We all ate the yummy, fried seafood goodness, had great conversation then thought of an idea to go to the Frye Museum up on First Hill. It's a free museum and had some really great stuff. It was nice to be able to do this with my dad so that we could bond on another level completely. Then he had to head out and so did we, but we'd be seeing him on Saturday so it was okay that we had to leave. We stopped by QFC to pick up some more goodies to add to our summer sausage and then headed home to enjoy more time with the family. We talked all about our trip up to Vancouver, including our visit with my aunt and uncle, shared some excellent wines and snacks, then it was time to go out. We had agreed to meet Jen at Taco Time in B'vue and we were going to pick up my bro to come along. After our overindulgence at Taco Time, we had decided to go to SKATE KING!! Yes, that's right. Skate King. On Thursdays at 8:30, they do an adult skate for people 18 and up. It was one of the most amazing things I've seen in a long time. There's this sub-culture of adults, some young, some old, that come out every week to skate. There are some singles, some couples, but they're all there to have fun, blow off some steam, and just feel young again. I loved the fact that pretty much everyone there had their own way of moving, whether it was dancing along as they skated, skated backwards the entire time, or hugged the wall just to stay up. I really enjoyed it and wished that we had something like that here that wouldn't end up being a gang hangout or some other type of shi-shi expensive spot like the Roxy. I definitely want to go back the next time we go home and next time I want to stay for the entire time. Woo hoo! There was also the huge flash-back factor that made it such a memorable night. They still had the same red carpet, the short carpeted round tables near the entrance to the rink, the "Graveyard" drink from the snackbar (all the sodas mixed together), red rope, and a few video games along with air hockey in between the guy's and girl's bathrooms. Such nostalgia! When a slow song came on, I imagined myself standing next to a hundred other girls all in line along the wall waiting for our crushes to come up and ask us to skake with them during the Snowball. This time I was 20 years older and already had my crush holding hands with me as we skated around and around. I started to feel the blisters coming on and Dan had been sitting out for the past several songs, so we were ready to go. We went back to the bro's house and started watching Wedding Crashers...the worst movie of the year, in my opinion of course...but I also think it has to do with being a woman and not really digging the fact that these guys were taking advantage and lying just to score. It's definitely a guy flick. Then about halfway through, I got super sleepy so we went back to the guest suite at my mom's for some nighttime bliss.

Friday: We woke after we had enough sleep then decided that we were starving beyond starving. Hector's was our top priority for the morning. Again, excellent food and service. This was now one of our favorite places for breakfast on the Eastside. Then we wanted to head out and get a start on the day and hit Bellevue Square to see what we could find. We started at JCPenney's and discovered the beginning of a storewide 70% off sale! I found scarves, gloves, mittens, and Joe found the coolest blazer ever for only like $20! We scored. We were still waiting on Jen to call us and let us know when she could meet up, so we kept wandering the mall. I was on a mission to find a Washington calendar for 2006. I managed to find one finally at Hallmark, which is where Joe had run off to when I was in another store. He was buying me an anniversary card! Crap! I need to get him one too! So, I laughed, he looked at me with disappointment because he was trying to surprise me, but then I said, I know what it is and I need to get one too. He stepped out of the store to wait while I found him a card, then I took it up to the counter along with the calendar and told the very old woman at the register what we were up to. She found it very amusing that we would wait until the day of and to buy them right in front of each other. We all had a laugh and moved on.

I called Jen to see what was holding her up, and she said she'd be ready in about 20 minutes. So we left the mall, headed towards her place, picked her up then went up to Chateau St. Michelle for a little wine tasting. I'd never been there before so it was quite lovely to see the grounds and the definite chateau-like buildings. There were even peacocks hanging about that we managed to get some photos of while we walked towards the tasting room. We sampled 4 delicious wines, 2 reds and 2 whites, one of which is now my favorite, the Horse Heaven Sauvignon Blanc and the other, Indian Wells Chardonnay. I'm not sure of the reds, but they were quite good as well. After tasting, we decided to go to Redhook, right next door, to take the brewery tour. It was only a buck, but it would've been free if there wasn't a law stating that you aren't allowed to give away beer for free. The tour was fantastic and we were able to sample 4 beers as well. My favorites are the Blonde, Nut Brown Ale, and the Blackhook Porter. I'm not a huge beer fan, but I definitely enjoyed it. Joe was able to swindle a few extra samples by proclaiming: "Sir, I am not convinced by this sample. May I have another?" Sure enough, the bartender had no problem with refilling him. It was hilarious. We got to take the sample glasses home too! It was a blast.

Then we headed out to pick up my brother so we could go out for happy hour at The Beach Cafe in Kirkland. We were able to snag a table for 4 in the bar and we ordered a few appetizers and a few glasses of wine/cocktails. It was so much fun! After being loud and boisterous in the bar, we headed out to check out the waterfront. It was pouring so we decided to leave and get more food...this time: BURGERMASTER! It's only a few blocks away from the cafe, so we were there in no time at all. We parked outside under the cover at the drive-in and ordered way too much food. It was the best EVER. After a while, we were all crashing down from all the food and beverages, a couple of us got a little cranky and so we decided to call it a night. We dropped off the bro then dropped off the Jen and said goodbye. Time to head home. The hubby was exhausted so he hit the sheets and I decided to stay up and chat with my mom for a while. Next thing you know, it was 1am before I realized that I was tired. It was such a great talk that I didn't want it to end.

Saturday: The shipment day. I'm giving it this title because I had to go through all the stuff that was left in my old room at my mother's house and decide what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to get rid of. I decided that I wanted to keep almost all of it and therefore had to pack it up and ship it out to NY. Thank god for Joe. He's a total expert packer and can deal with all sorts of crap from people, as you will soon see what I mean. After about an hour, we managed to pack everything up, seal it shut, and get it into the car to take to the now super shitty FedEx/Kinkos. Just as I was turning into the parking lot, there was a guy in front of me in his car that did one of those super-duper slow turns and then was sitting there trying to make up his stupid mind about where to park, meanwhile we're sitting there with half of our car out in the middle of the street ready to get rear-ended by some dipshit...another important word as you will see. So, I lightly honked the horn to let him know that there was someone behind him waiting to get into the parking lot too. Then I turned left, parked right in front of the Kinkos, and then we started to unload the car. A moment later I hear, "Who the fuck are you to talk to someone like that??!! Get the fuck inside before I punch you in the face" This was my husband. Oh god, I thought, not today. We definitely don't need to deal with this today. Then Joe asked him again, "Who the fuck are you to talk to someone like that?" The guy went speechless, unable to back up his initial words of, "Are you the dipshit who honked at me?" This is what set the whole thing off...you don't call my husband a dipshit. I can't even call him a dipshit. Then that's when Joe replied with his question. Then there were a few more explicatives of which the guy replied to none. One of which was, "You wanna dance old man? We'll go outside if you want to!!" It was hard to tell why this happened. Either A. This guy finally found a situation where he could tell someone off for honking at him (which is a totally pussy thing to do anyway "Oh...boo hoo...someone honked at me!") or B. He saw an opportunity to lash out on a person that fits in his racist profile (i.e., Asian...or should I say, Oriental) or C. He figured Joe was just a punk kid who is also on his list of wanting to yell at but then realized that you don't mess with a New Yorker who also works for FedEx in the heart of Manhattan and has to deal with much worse shitheads than this guy. I'm thinking it's all of the above. I actually got involved by defending him, as a good wife should, by saying, "I was driving, not him. So if you've got something to say, say it to me!" It was great. My adrenaline was pulsing through my veins creating that euphoric feeling of having had way too much caffeine and therefore jittering more than a broken washing machine. The guy, who by the way, was at least 60 years old with a red neck (literally and figuratively), who obviously has never left Bellevue in his entire life, and apparently had some old seated issues with driving, made a bad choice this Saturday to pick a bone with my husband. It didn't help that we were mildly hungover and were absolutely starving (Taco Time here we come!). So, we stacked our boxes waiting patiently and tried to clear the air of the scene that we just created. Turns out, the guy working at the FedEx counter needed to take all of the express/paper shipments first and then he could deal with us...this meant that the asshole got to go in front of us...ugh. That really pissed me off, but then we realized that karma is a bitch and he'd probably lose his shipment in the mail.

Anyway, we finally finished up and then went to get lunch. After filling up on yet another trip to Taco Time, we decided to stop over at JCPenney's one last time to see if there was anything else that we needed. Joe found another blazer and then we headed to 1/2 Priced Books to sell a few books from my stack at my mom's. I actually managed to find the book that I was looking for at the other 1/2 priced in Seattle...so that was great. One good thing today. Then we had to go back to my mom’s and pack up to go to my dad’s for our last night in Seattle. We had planned to go and have dinner out to celebrate our 2nd anniversary, so we got dressed up, said so long to my mom (it’s never goodbye), and headed out. We needed to stop by my bro’s to say so long to him too. It could’ve been really difficult, but I know that I will see him in May/June and I know how quickly time has been flying. We left and got into Seattle, parked near 2nd avenue in Belltown, but found a spot right in front of a homeless/junkie playground. We walked a couple of blocks, but decided that there wasn’t anything near here that looked good, so we went back to the car, glad to see that it hadn’t been broken into, then headed towards the waterfront. It was quite fortuitous that we went the way we did because we drove right by Etta’s at the Market and said, “What the hell...let’s go here.” The deciding factor was that there was a parking spot directly in front of the restaurant. It was perfect. We sat at a big booth near the bar, shared a bottle of the Horse Heaven Sauvignon Blanc from Chateau St. Michelle, and ordered 2 appetizers and split an entree. It was absolutely fabulous. We ordered shrimp spring rolls and something else (temporarily forgotten), and a seared tuna with chorizo sausage, fingerling potatoes in a delicious sauce. Then for dessert, instead of going the traditional route, we ordered two drinks: an apple brandy for Joe and a Madeira port for me. So so good. We then had to say goodbye to Seattle and make our way down to Federal Way to my dad’s. The drive was fine and we got there just before they were sleeping. We decided that sounded good to us too, so we cozied up for a long sleep.

Sunday: Our last day. We slept in late, much later than any other time during our trip, and enjoyed a relaxed Sunday. We went out for lunch, take a guess...yes, Taco Time for the last time...I though I was going to puke because we’d eaten it so many times on this trip. It was still good though. After lunch, we went on one more mission: to find me a Seahawks championship t-shirt. Well, no such luck there because they’d either all sold out or they were size XXL. I ended up ordering one online in a Medium and it’s still huge on me. After wandering around Seatac Mall, or as it’s now called, The Commons, we went back to my dad’s to pack up and then relax. It was a nice day to be in because it was absolutely freezing and raining quite heavily for most of the day. After we had delicious homemade chili, my parent’s got us a card and a lovely cake for our anniversary. It was so sweet of them to think of us. We thanked them and realized that it was time for us to go. We didn’t want to leave, but knew that we had to or else we’d miss our flight. We said so long and headed out to deal with the car return and get checked in for our flight. The car return was completely opposite from the pick up because the guy was super friendly. We made it with plenty of time, found a spot looking out the window, and settled in for an hour wait. We boarded a little late, but the flight was pretty smooth and we were only a half an hour late arriving in NY.

It was a great trip overall and I can’t wait to come home again. Hopefully this time, my mom will be up in Bellingham/Birch Bay and we’ll have a place up there to stay with them. Until next time, see you soon and keep on travelin’!

(Wasn’t so quick, now was it?)

Happy New Year!

2005-12-31T18:36:00.000-05:00

Christmas at our New Home
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

As another year comes to a close, it only means that another one is on the way...another chance to make things right and to live life with a new perspective.

I wish all of you the best as you reflect on this past year, good and bad times alike, and as you look forward to a new year with many hopes and dreams for peace and happiness.

Happy New Year.

See you in 2006.

Lissa the Scrooge

2005-12-23T13:28:00.000-05:00

Lissa the Scrooge
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Okay, I know you've all been waiting on my usual lash-out on the things that piss me off, this week: the transit strike. Well, not to disappoint, but I've decided to take the high road on this...not because I think that bitching and complaining aren't great, but I've just talked about it SO MUCH that I can't even stand to waste another second of my time with it.

Here are the facts in a nutshell:

Couldn't work on Tuesday because my company, who had been so generous and thoughtful to send a car out to pick 4 of us up after hearing the workers were going forward with the strike, failed to pick me up do to the insane amounts of traffic in the entire region due to the 4 person HOV restriction for entering Manhattan. Okay, I was fine with that, sort of...would have been about an extra $100 on my paycheck for the week...no, I'm not disappointed, no.

Wednesday: we decided that I'd get up BEFORE Joe, ride in with him and his fellow co-workers at 5am, then be dropped off at work early. Ahem...4am is not a pretty sight for Lissa...exhaustion ensued at about 5 pm after having been at work since 6:30am and then knowing that we'd have to walk almost 3 miles to get home. Ate ramen for dinner and went to bed at 9pm.

Thursday: Groundhog day...although the difference this time is that it only took us 15 minutes to get into Manhattan (as opposed to the hour and a half on Wed) and I was therefore an hour earlier than the day before...yes that's right, I got to work at 5:30am...ugh...don't fuck with me today...I'm cranky and I'll bite your head off if you even look at me wrong.

Then, by about 2pm, we got word that they were agreeing to go back to work and that they'd negotiate to resolve their contract issues. THANK FUCKING GOD...although it was said to take as many as 24 hours to get the system up and running again which meant we'd have to walk home again. I left work at 5:30 and was off to meet Joe to walk home again. So many freakin' people everywhere! I was so happy that we'd be able to go back to normal the next day, but I was so tired I couldn't even express my happiness.

We finally made it home, bodies hurting and totally fatigued, didn't eat dinner, showered, then watched about 20 minutes of the jim carrey version of the grinch, then crashed at about 9pm...

Aaaahhh....I never thought I'd welcome the alarm at 6am...but after hearing it go off at 4am, I was quite happy...still completely exhausted, but happy enough.

So the ordeal is over, after costing the city, oh let's see, about $100 million dollars in 3 days.

Now I'm trying to go deep down inside to try to find that joy and wonder of Christmas that I had as a child so I can somewhat enjoy this time of year. I really hope I can find it because I'm really close to being renamed Scrooge...

Anyway...Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.

She's Back!!

2005-12-15T08:39:00.000-05:00

Me and Jen 2003
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

I think it's safe to post now seeing that she's been able to contact everyone...

My dearest friend, Jen has finally returned from Iraq safely!! I got a voicemail from her this morning...although she left it last night at 9:30pm PST so I was already asleep...she called from her home base and was turning in her soldier life for a much desired civilian life after a year abroad in a hot, dusty, dangerous country.

Congratulations on completing what may have been the most difficult time of your life. You sailed through it with flying colors, grace, and courage.

CONGRATULATIONS, JEN!! WELCOME HOME!

I am so happy...I couldn't keep the tears from falling when I heard the news. I've known her for 15 years now and she has become a most inspirational and courageous woman...one that I admire and respect greatly.

Joe and I are very lucky because we'll get to see her when we come home in January...I am more excited than words can express. The sense of relief is so huge that I don't quite know how to handle it.

Again, Jen, welcome home and can't wait to see you!

WELCOME HOME, GI JEN!

*If anyone is interested in reading about her journey over the past year, please check out her blog, GI Jen's Blog

Nuts and Bolts, Bitches!

2005-12-14T21:05:00.000-05:00

Nuts and Bolts, Bitches!
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

As I said, this is the best holiday snack in the world. I look forward to it every year. I just completed my second time of making nuts and bolts and so far so good. We've managed to stand at the stove and eat several handfuls of it before it even cooled off.

Some of you may be wondering why it's called Nuts and Bolts. Well, I'll tell you. It has Cheerios and stick pretzels and well, when you put a pretzel through a Cheerio, you get...Hey! Not THAT! It's very similar to a bolt or screw if you will and the Cheerio represents the nut...okay, laugh if you will, but like I said, it is THE BEST SNACK IN THE WORLD! I can't tell you what's in it, but you can email me and ask me kindly for the recipe...only if you're good.

So from me to you, Happy Holidays and enjoy your nuts and bolts!

Aruba: The Finale

2005-12-14T13:03:00.000-05:00

Natural Bridge Next to Collapsed one
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

As promised, here's the last part of our trip to Aruba. It makes me sad to think of it, only because I wish that I could be back there right now...seeing that it's only 15 degrees here in New York!

After we all piled in to the famous Toyota Yaris (only in Aruba), with Joe and Mark in the front, Maria and I in the back, we headed out on quite an unexpected journey to the usually unseen parts of the island.

The initial plan was to go to the Natural Bridge to see what was left of it after its collapse only 2 weeks ago. But we took a few detours on the way there and as well on the way back to the hotel. With Joe as our Navigator, we were ensured a most efficient and direct route to the final destination, however, because of two like-minded people in the front and because of the wives in the back who had completely different ideas of where to go, as you can imagine, there were a few disagreements. As we cruised through the very arid parts of the island, I took snapshots of the traditional farmhouse-styled homes, cacti, and views of the "mountains". Before we knew it, we stumbled on an ostrich farm. We all agreed to pull in and see what was going on with these bad-ass ostriches. Unbeknownst to us, mostly because they hadn't yet put down the gate, nor had they put up the "Closed" sign, we were apparently "trespassing" on their property. Well, before the lady came out with her pet pygmy goat in her arms, we managed to get a few pictures of these huge birds and tried to get them angry so they would spit at us...oh wait, it's llamas that spit. Anyway, we got a few close up shots by the time we heard, "Hello! Hello? You no see sign? We closed! You no park here, you park over there! This is middle of farm!", she said this as she gestured way over to the parking lot at the entrance along with unintentionally shaking her goat with anger as she pointed to the farm. I just looked at her and her goat and said, "No...we no see sign. We are American. So sorry!" I tried to play as dumb as possible so she wouldn't sick her pet goat on us...we didn't want it eating our map! So everyone else joined me and pleaded the ignorant tourist case which apparently seemed to work because she just smiled at us, put her goat down, and Mark went over and started asking her about it and began petting it. Then we apologized a bit more before we piled back into the Yaris and continued on our way to the Natural Bridge.

We laughed and laughed so hard that we almost spilled our Dutch snacks on the floor. The look on her face when she came out with her goat, waving at us so frantically that she nearly dropped it. "So sorry, we're American!" This is only now readily accepted all over the world thanks to W. Bush. We can now get away with almost ANYTHING!

We drove for another few minutes when we found yet another Aruban gem: the gold mines. We pulled in to where another car was parked and we all hopped out, drinks and cameras in hand. A few days before, our friend Jamie told us about how the terrain was so different from the resort side of the island that it reminded him of images that he's seen of the moon. It was obviously weathered from years and years of waves, wind, and storms, but had the appearance of cooled molten lava from a volcano. It was so uneven that you had to be very careful where you walked because it could puncture your flip-flops and cut your feet. Also, all around us, were these little sculptures of rock; several rocks starting from the largest on the bottom to the smallest on the top climbing to the sky. There were thousands of them all over the ground. We found out later on that they represent prayers and was glad that we didn't accidentally knock any of them down. (insert pics here)

Once we got a few pictures of all of us with the rough seas behind us, we walked over to the gold mine ruins to do some exploration and see if there was any gold left to be found. (insert pic here)

We hiked up to the top for a view of the rocky coast and tried not to step on the lizards that were scurrying about. There wasn't much else there except for the few markings of teenage love and idiot tourists who "Were Here" sometime back in the 80s. We decided to climb back down and continue our hunt for the Natural Bridge.

Joe directed Mark to follow the dirt road alongside the water because that would lead us to the bridge. We began to see signs that lead us right there. As we pulled in, we were instantly amazed at the sight. (insert bridge pic) We couldn't believe that it had happened and were so glad to hear that no one was swimming underneath it when it collapsed. Adjacent to the collapsed bridge was a much smaller one, but as you can see by the top photo, it wasn't small at all, so you can imagine how large the original one was compared to this one. We walked around, astonished at the loss of this famous landmark, and Joe, adventurous as he is, decided to take a little walk over to the other bridge. I, being the wife, told him to be careful of course and then a moment later, decided to join him. Mark and Maria did the same. It was really beautiful from up there because the water down below was this amazing blue-green color and with every turn of the wave, the fish would be pushed up onto the flat rocks below and show us their gorgeous, bright colors and they tried to get back out to sea. We took a few pictures from up there, then again, adventurous Joe, decided to walk around to where you could go underneath the collapsed bridge. We couldn't get under there, of course, but there were some other areas nearby that we could explore by walking through the water and underneath these cavernous spaces. I was a little nervous, not because of the possibility of collapse, but of the unknown creatures that could be lurking in the water in those dark places. To say the least, I only went in about one foot.

After the men were finished being fearless, we all walked back up to the car and headed out. By this time, it was getting close to 6pm...sunset in Aruba is always at 6:30pm. So, Maria and I thought it would be nice to go to the California Lighthouse to watch the sunset, but the guys thought we should drive down and check out Baby Beach, which is located all the way at the other end of the island. Since Maria and I were in the back seat, they weren't about to go with our idea. They made the decision themselves.

Off we went to find Baby Beach through the "real" parts of Aruba. Joe did an excellent job of navigating, Mark was being a very safe driver contrary to Maria's feelings, however. It was great to be able to see so much of the island and I had a feeling that hardly anyone who traveled to Aruba, from say, the U.S. for example, never ventured off their pristine resort's beach to see what life was really like on this tropical island. I think it's a shame because you can't really say that you've been to a place if you haven't taken the opportunity to see how the country wakes and sleeps, works and plays, survives and dies. This gave us all a chance to appreciate the beauty of this place, wealth and poverty alike, and to feel that we'd really been there, a part of it all.

We finally found some signs to direct us towards the beaches and took a photo of this: (pic of anchor) to commemorate all men of the sea. We were right around the corner from the beach and also the Valero oil refinery. Yep, that's right. Oil refinery. I know it seems like a strange thing to have near a beach as beautiful as Baby Beach, but oddly enough, it made it more beautiful. Okay, let me explain. As we turned the corner and drove down the hill towards the beach, we looked over our shoulders towards the west and saw, what was to be the most gorgeous sunset of all the nights in Aruba. The reason for this: the steam/smoke that was coming from the tops of the smokestacks was basically polluting the sky behind the beach making it the most intense red and pink that you could imagine. I do have to admit that it bothered me to know that there was an oil refinery less than a half a mile away from us, but once we got into the water to watch the sunset, my enviro-conscious mind slowly quieted and I enjoyed our last sunset in Aruba.

The water was quite unlike the water in front of our hotel. This water was at least 85 degrees and was absolutely clearer than any water I'd swam in here on the island or ever in my life. Unfortunately I had missed the sighting of the sea turtle that everyone else saw. It made me a little skeevy once we started walking out towards the rocks because there was a lot of seaweed that was obscuring our view of the bottom. I had no idea what could have been lurking about under there, and I wasn't about to find out. Joe was kind enough to give me a piggy-back ride all the way out. Another strange thing about Baby Beach was that it was only about 4 feet deep, everywhere. (insert pic of the beach) It probably went out for about 1,000 yards to the rock wall. It was amazing. We all hung out in the water until the sun finally went down, then we decided to head out because it was starting to get a little chilly.

We walked back out to the beach and got out to dry off at the car. Well, before we knew it, we were being attacked. Noseeums. Here's a little excerpt from a letter that a fellow tourist wrote to whatsthatbug.com: A persistently malevolent presence was a sneaky breed of bugs we initially referred to as "lil' fuckers". In our bed after dark, a squadron of these seemingly invisible enemies attacked us. The "lil' fuckers" painfully dug into our skin, undaunted by window screens, DEET repellents or citronella smokers. At first we thought that they were bed bugs, but when we finally spotted one we realized that the tiny pinprick sized black dots were fliers. Our neighbor, a cheerful tourist from Hawaii said, "Oh yeah, we call them 'noseeums'. They fly right in through the screen weave!"

Here's the explanation from the expert: "Often referred to as Punkies (Family Ceratopogonidae), these minute gnats deserve their pidgin-English name because they are indeed almost too small to be seen, even when their presence is painfully felt: the effects of the bite are far out of proportion to the size of the biter. They are barely 1/32 inch and easily pass through ordinary window screen. The effects of a No-see-ums bite are a short-lived inflammatory swelling followed by intense itching, which may continue for a week or longer." Yikes!

So what happened, you may ask? Well, as we started walking back to the car from the beach, still damp mind you, we all started feeling these little bites. I said, "Mosquitoes! I think I'm being attacked by mosquitoes!" Then everyone else started yelling out, "Ouch!" "Damn!" "That hurt!" etc, until we realized that these were not mosquitoes. Well, at this point, Maria had already locked herself in the car and was changing out of her wet swimsuit into her dry clothes in the front seat by trying to hold her towel over her to hide herself. We all started banging on the door, jumping up and down, yelling, begging for her to unlock the car because we were being ambushed by these miniscule snipers. "Maria!!! Open the doors!! Let us in!! We're dying out here!", we all shouted. It was like a scene from an old war film. Finally, even though she hadn't fully changed, she opened the doors and let us in. The rest of us didn't have a chance to change and said, "Fuck it! Let's just get in the car!", because these little monsters' bites felt like needles being shoved into our skin. We were so thankful to get in the car, but then realized that about a thousand of them got into the car when the doors were open. As we sped away, we were all screaming and trying to open the windows hoping that they would fly out with the wind. After a few minutes of driving like a bat out of hell, Mark slowed down, we all closed the windows, and then he turned on the a/c. Whew! We survived. What a nightmare! Maria had already showed signs of the attack with about 20, no maybe even 50 red bumps on her shoulders, arms, and neck. It was awful.

"What's for dinner?", Joe asked...starving as usual. I looked through the Menu books on the ride home to find a nice place for us to have steak and seafood for our last dinner. We all enjoyed each other's company that day, we decided to have dinner together. We agreed on the Sunset Grille, located at the crappy high-rise Radisson hotel. It had great reviews though so we didn't care that it was in our least favorite place on the island: The High-Rise Hotel Strip.

On the way back to the resort, as we drove through the "real" parts of Aruba, we saw many rallies and parties on the streets for the forthcoming election that was to take place the next morning. It was so exciting to see the citizens of this country get so involved in the election process...again, something very foreign to us Americans. They had loud speakers, booming music, and bonfires. I could see why they banned the sale of alcohol before an election...the partying could've gotten a little out of control with that element brought into it.

After about a half an hour, we made it back to the resort, we all went our separate ways to shower up, make the reservations, and to make pre-dinner cocktails for everyone. We had about 45 minutes before our reservation, so we didn't have much time to get ready. We all hurried around, met at our room for a quick bevvie (we ended up taking them on the road again), and then headed out. Mark and Maria drove us again because they didn't have to return their car until the next morning at the airport. They were able to show us the high-rise strip with all the chain restaurants, over-done tropical-themed decor, bright lights, casinos, and again, the usual suspects. We were SO glad to be staying at Manchebo and decided that no matter where we travel to in the world, we're going to be damn sure that we stay in the low-key, laid back, mellow area of town. None of this "Oh, it takes us 15 minutes just to get down to the beach from our room" business. I like the fact that I can open the door to our room, turn left, walk 50 paces, and then x marks the spot: the beach.

Well, this was just for one night, one dinner to be exact, so I could deal with it. Also, if the food is really good, maybe we'll actually come back.

We walked in, I informed the host that we were there, and we were seated right away. We sat at a lovely table near the window. It was a nice restaurant with modern decor, but very subdued and romantic. We immediately ordered a fine bottle of either sauvignon blanc or pinot grigio (can't remember)...then they brought the bread. Holy moley! This stuff rocked! Fresh, hot bread with butter. I have to say, that's why I could NEVER go on that stupid Atkin's diet. There's nothing like fresh bread and butter to make all of your worries fade away...

We all decided to go for the gusto since it was the last supper. I ordered the filet mignon, Joe ordered the grilled rack of lamb, Maria surprisingly went with the lobster, which she said was excellent, and Mark...Mark. He ordered the 20oz porterhouse. (Insert pic here) Too bad we didn't get a free meal because he was able to finish the whole thing. Joe and I also ordered creamed spinach and garlic mashed potatoes. So good! What a meal. Okay, it's decided: we'll go back next time for sure.

We even placed an order for the souffle that had to be put in 40 minutes before dessert. Now, talk about the cherry on top! This was the best meal, in my opinon, of the whole trip...well, El Gaucho was really good too...oh, I can't decide!

After our meal, and about $200 later, we decided to go and check out the rest of the hotel grounds and see what their beach looked like. Okay, the jungle theme with the lighting effects were pretty cool, but when we got to the beach, if you can even call it that, we were shocked and stunned that people would pay that much a night to stay in a place that literally only has about 20 feet of sand. Again, so glad we stayed at Manchebo with our whopping 10 acres of beach! I can't wait to go back!

Once we finished making fun of their beach, we walked back to the car and they decided to drive us through the high-rise area to show us the rest of the annoying hotels that we would never stay at, ever.

We finally got back to the resort, all of us exhausted, and we decided to call it a night. We told them to come and find us on the beach the next morning to say goodbye before they left. Well, Joe and I slept a little bit late and didn't get out to the beach until after 9am...way after they had to leave for their flight. They told us later that they didn't want to bother us to say goodbye at 7 in the morning. We understood that! We were just glad to have exchanged information with Stephanie so that we could get in touch with them because they forgot to leave us their info.

After Joe and I got up, we packed up our stuff, went out to the beach for one last time which really only ended up being for about an hour because there was a thick overcast due to the previous night's rain. So, we decided to get completely ready, go into town to have lunch one last time at, you guessed it, Iguana Joe's. We ordered the usual...no drinks of course because of the election law, and enjoyed the view one last time of the street below with all the very enthusiastic supporters of their candidates in their little cars all decked out with stickers and flags. We saw that couple from Arizona that we met a few days before as we headed out to do some last minute souvenir shopping across the street. We had to get back and get ready to go so we hopped on the bus and got back within about 10 minutes. Once there, we met the taxi driver that we'd reserved earlier in the lobby. Then we said "Danki" to the Manchebo staff and said that we'd be seeing them soon. Off we went to the airport in the taxi van listening to the legendary reggae artist, Carlton Livingston, as the driver sang along and gave us a fantastic trip to the airport.

Now, the only thing that really bothers me with traveling abroad is dealing with U.S. customs. This is why they tell you to be at the airport not 1, not 2, but 3 hours before your flight. When we got there, we understood completely. The lines were outrageously long, the paperwork was annoying, and they had random security searches. The entire process, from check in to arriving at the gate, took about an hour. Then we had 2 hours to wait. After getting our passports stamped and having our bags randomly searched, we found our gate. Thinking that we'd have no problem finding the airport bar to have a drink or get some munchies, we were very disappointed to find out that there was only one, and it was closed. We forgot about the election day law and sat down with our sad selves trying to think of ways to pass the next 2 hours. I got up and walked around, went to the bathroom, then found a little snack bar that was open and selling, what else, but drinks! We decided to splurge, and to keep our vacation party alive, and ordered 2 rum and coca-colas. My only regret was that they were only 8oz drinks for $5. But, it settled my pre-flight nerves and allowed us to have a little bit of last minute fun before departing.

Finally, the plane arrived, a little late, and we got to board. On our way down, we had sat right next to this guy named Raj...and who did we see right before we boarded, yep, Raj. We talked with him a few minutes before we got on and recapped our week. Once we got on, we had to go all the way to the back...well, about 4 rows from the back, and for once, we had a row to ourselves (check). We finally headed out for departure, but once we got to the end of the runway ready for take-off, the engines began to rev as if we were about to go, and then they stopped. My heart sank. I knew it. Something was very, very wrong. Oh. God. My worst fear was coming true...well, not really. Turns out, they hadn't completely secured the cargo door and unfortunately we had to go all the way back to the gate to have them close it. In the meanwhile, I calmed back down, my heart slowly went back into my chest, and I looked through the SkyMall magazine. I came upon this little gift: (insert dog pic) I laughed so hard I think people thought I was a little nutty. I actually had to take a picture of it...yes, very easily amused, I know.

Finally, finally, we were able to go and we actually had to take off in the other direction, which I thought was strange. I was bummed because I wanted to take-off the other way so I could get some beautiful sunset shots above the beaches. Oh well. It was still a lovely view and I was just glad to be on our way.

We made it (uneventfully) and were welcomed back to much cooler weather and the energy that is New York. I do admit I was glad to be home, but I know that I'll forever remember this trip because of the amazing people that we met, the beautifully serene beaches, the fantastic food, and the amount of fun and relaxation that we had during this week in our new favorite place: Aruba.

Aruba: Part 4

2005-12-09T17:30:00.000-05:00

The Gentleman's Club
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

So, as I said at the end of the last entry, this is where the fun really began.

Joe woke up again on Tuesday at around 6am and staked out our spot for the day by putting his NY Giants hat on the table of the palapa. I slept in until about 8, made some sandwiches (again), put on my sunscreen and swimsuit and we headed out for another day of fun in the sun. So, once again, we floated in the sea with our feet up, looking up at the blue sky and watching the pelicans fish for food, dried out in the sun to advance our tans, and drank our yummy tropical concoctions. After a few hours of being completely lazy, we decided to go to Iguana Joe's again for lunch because we loved the food so much!

We took a taxi, again, we didn't want to pass out from the heat and humidity, got there right at lunch (this time no cruise ship tourists)and settled in for a delicious lunch accompanied with our carafes of drink. We talked with a couple that was from Arizona and shared some of our experiences with Aruba since we'd arrived. We enjoyed more conch fritters (which I later determined was what gave me an upset stomach--too much of a good thing!) We had a few other appetizers and drinks that we hadn't yet tried and then decided to do a little window shopping. We looked at the clock and we needed to get back to the hotel because the manager was hosting a party for all of the guests at 5pm at the outdoor area near the beach. They had a steel drummer, unlimited rum punch, and lots of fried finger-foods. We got a table for us right up front and enjoyed the relaxing music along with the sea breezes flowing through our hair. After the first cocktail, I felt like dancing to the wonderfully upbeat Caribbean music that the drummer was playing. I dragged Joe up there with me and we were the only ones, but I didn't care. I was having fun trying to dance the salsa, Ha!

After our brief show, I sat back down and Joe went for another round. I had brought my Fodor's Aruba guide book with me to see where we wanted to go for dinner. So as we listened to the music and drank our libations, I looked through the book. A moment later, one of the ladies who was with her husband and their friends sitting at the table next to us, got up to request a song, "You Look Wonderful Tonight-Eric Clapton". The drummer nodded his head and once he finished that song, he began to play the request. Next thing you know, the lady that requested it grabbed her husband by the hand and they went up to dance. It was very sweet. Then, their other friends joined them in the slowdance. It was so nice to see these couples that were in their early 50s, married for over 25 years, dancing together and sharing a romantic moment.

After they all sat down, the lady that requested the song came over to ask me about the book. She was wondering if it actually had good information about what to do, where to eat, and if the ratings for the hotels were accurate. We talked for a bit about our resort and they said it was so much nicer than the big high-rise hotels that they used to stay in. They'd been coming to our resort for the past several years and will only stay there when they go to Aruba. We picked the right place! Before we could finish the conversation, all of their friends, who had been dancing during our little chat, grabbed her and they all were dancing to some fun upbeat song. This is when I think the drinks began to hit everyone! About five minutes later, I hear this voice from behind me and coming closer towards us saying, "Was that older lady hitting on your exotic man?" I looked up and saw a guy, about our age, and I laughed and said no. Joe was laughing too. We invited him to sit down when he said, "You guys are New Yorkers, aren't you?" We could tell he was too...it's just a New York thing, I guess. His name is Jamie and he was there with his girlfriend Stephanie on their 10-year anniversary. Turns out, they live about 10 minutes from us in New York! It was really an amazing example of how small this world really is. Stephanie came over a little while later and we all talked about everything about our trips so far. They told us that they'd seen us the past couple of days around the resort and that's how they knew we were from NY...I said it was because of the Giants hat and he said no...he could just tell. They had met another couple from Boston named Mark and Maria. They came over to join us towards the end of the party because they were down at the beach. We all got along so well right from the beginning and we all agreed to go out to dinner.

We did some research and asked the guys what they felt like eating: steak, meat, steak, beef, seafood, and more steak. So we decided on El Gaucho, an Argentinian steakhouse specializing in grilled steak...I think this was the right choice.

Lucky for Joe and I, both couples rented cars so we were able to ride with Jamie and Stephanie into town to dinner. We were all having so much fun trying not to get lost on the way and I was busy trying to keep my butt dry from all the water that had spilled out of their cooler earlier that day...that's another story in itself. We all got there, managed to find parking, and went into this amazing place that smelled so wonderful and was buzzing with people having a great time.

We got a huge round table which was perfect for all of us and the food we were about to devour. We all looked at the wine list and Joe and I convinced everyone to try the white wine sangria. We ended up ordering 4 pitchers...I think they liked it. We started off quiet enough, but by the time our dinner arrived, we were the loudest group in the restaurant, but also having the most fun. Next thing you know, the mariachis showed up and started serenading us...I think it was to get us to shut up! Then after they were done, this couple, from Long Island, NY of all places, came up to us and said she'd overheard us talking about wineries on Long Island. Turns out, she and her husband had only been married, 36 hours, (yes, she actually put it in terms of hours), and asked us what we were all doing later on! I couldn't believe it! She's that bored of her husband already?? Jeez.

After they left, we all laughed about that and continued on with our merriment and mildly (or mostly, in some cases) drunken silliness. The waiter kept coming by and asking if we needed or wanted anything else (hint, hint) and we finally decided to settle our check. As we walked out, the manager and the waiter were counting up all the cash, in what I think was to make sure we paid them correctly (due to the drunken silliness), and we could definitely tell that they were glad we left. Ah, who cares! We had a blast, as you can tell from the photos. Just click on the one at the top and it'll take you to my Flickr site...you can see the progression of our silliness as the night went on.

And to describe the top photo, after we walked out of the restaurant, the guys all felt like a "cigar" which were really cigarillos, or mini-cigars flavored with vanilla or chocolate, or something. As they enjoyed their manly smoke and bonded, us ladies chatted about how funny they were and tried to figure out where we parked our cars. It was so much fun that we didn't want the night to end. So we all decided that once we got back to the hotel, we'd all meet up outside and walk down to the beach for a walk. There was a full moon during the first few days of our trip and made the ocean water sparkle all around us. It was gorgeouse. By the time we all walked for a bit, we were a little sleepy so we only hung out for a little while and then we all went to bed...in our own rooms of course!

The next morning was a bit more difficult to rise and shine than previous mornings. Joe still had no problem going out at 6:30 to save us our spot. We'd told our new friends about his "Operation Early Bird" and the all laughed at him. We said it was the only way to beat out those old folks who get up at the crack of dawn all the time.

Joe got a great spot and Jamie and Steph grabbed a spot right behind us only about an hour after we went out. That was a lot of fun because after only a few hours, we were all underneath our palapa hanging out and talking. It was great. I was so glad to have met them because we had so much in common and really enjoyed each others' company.

When Jamie first came out that morning, he had found a coconut that had just fallen off the tree. He said, "Hey, I'm going to crack this thing open...let's put some of that rum of yours in it and see how it tastes in a few hours!" I laughed with disbelief while Joe was totally agreeing and was already on his way to get our bottle when I turned to look at him. Jamie came back about 30 minutes later with his coconut that had a hole in it ready to go. He then ran to get his ice bucket to fill it up and then "chill" the coconut. Silly boys! Later on they actually drank it...uck, it was way too strong for me especially after our little event with sangria the night before.

We were all really lazy that day and decided to swim a bit. Joe and I bought two pairs of cheap goggles so we could see the little white fish swimming down below our feet. We'd seen Jamie and Steph with them earlier that day and we decided we wanted to go and explore. Well, you get what you pay for...mine kept leaking and gave me huge red rings around my eyes so that I looked like some sort of strung out goggle wearing junkie! We had fun regardless and got to see hundreds of these little fish swimming in schools only a few feet away from us. It was so cool!

After our swim, we went back up to join the rest of the gang and hung out for a few more hours. We knew that it was Jamie and Steph's last night so even though they could've gone out to have a romantic dinner alone, they asked us to come along while Mark and Maria went to dinner to celebrate their 3-year wedding anniversary at a lovely romantic restaurant right on the water just south of Oranjestad.

We thought that was so nice of them and we accepted their invitation. I did a ton of research, but was also very indecisive so we settled on this place called Buccaneer. When I asked the guy at the front desk of our hotel, he said it was very traditional Aruban food and that it had a cool atmosphere because there was a huge fish tank in the dining room. So, we had him make reservations in his native Papiamento, and we headed back to the room to shower up and get ready.

We met our new pals in the lobby and we had to get a taxi because they had to return their car that morning. When we arrived, I knew immediately that I'd made the wrong choice...for me at least. The outside of the building looked just like the Disneyland ride, Pirates of the Caribbean, with fish nets, sails and masts, neon lights, parrots, pirates, and sharks. Oh boy...is this their version of a theme restaurant? I certainly hope not.

We walked in and the VERY helpful waiters showed us to our table right next to the aquarium. Initially we were amused and thought it was a little campy, but that it was the thought that counted to make it such a wonderful experience for tourists. Not! We were actually one of the first ones there, but within an hour, the place was packed with the usual suspects: white tennis shoes, khaki Docker shorts, crazy-colorful button up short-sleeved shirts, and graying hairdos. I've got nothing against the seniors, but I must say that I felt a little bit out of place once the mad rush of them came it at about 7pm...I thought I should've gone back to the hotel to change!

So we ordered our authentic Aruban food, starting off with soup...I opted for the chicken noodle (my stomach was bothering me all day--the damn conch fritters!) so I thought that I'd go with something mild to start, bad idea...chicken isn't their specialty. Everyone else ordered the lobster bisque and LOVED it. In fact, it was so rich, they could barely finish their entrees. Speaking of the entrees, I ordered the garlic shrimp which came with rice, some sort of goopy spinach puree that tasted like rubber, strawberry glazed yams (yuck), pickeled cabbage or something like that, and some other weird stuff. Oh...I felt so sick while eating it, I had to stop. That whole night I was naseaus and wished I hadn't picked that place. Ironically, everyone else had a great dinner and had no problem at all. Oh well, I'll know better for next time.

Once we got back, we were supposed to meet up with Mark and Maria in the lobby after their romantic dinner. Well, Maria was there talking with another couple about their experience, not good as I soon found out, and Mark was in the room not wanting to socialize after their terrible meal. I guess it wasn't a night for going out to dinner!

We went to the beach anyway, as planned, and we hung out for a while on a few chairs that the cabana boy forgot to put away. Joe dug a hole about 5 feet deep while I looked at a storm far away with lightning striking the earth in some unknown place. Maria came out of nowhere nearly scaring us to death, and offered us a bite of her key lime pie that she went so far to get. She told us all about how upset Mark was and that it was just one of those days. Soon thereafter, we all got sleepy and off we went to bed. I just wanted to sleep off that nasty dinner and hoped that I wouldn't have to see it again...at least not on the upswing.

Thursday Morning: Day 5

Joe and I had made a reservation for a couples massage at the Spa del Sol at our resort for 8am, so I was glad to have gone to bed early the night before. I was really looking forward to this and couldn't wait to really, really, relax. I knew Joe really needed it too and would enjoy it very much. So we got up, put on our swimsuits (we'd be going right to the beach afterward anyway) and walked about 20 steps to the spa. Helen, from Holland originally, is the yoga instructor and the head masseuse of the spa. She was excellent! We showered, put on our towels, and then went into the hut and laid down on two separate massage tables, with the open window with a view of the beach and the sea breeze coming through flowing over us as the aromatherapy oils were being massaged into our once tense muscles. It was the most relaxing and wonderful experience ever. It even rained for a few minutes during the massage to create the most amazing atmosphere ever.

Afterwards, we laid there listening to the peaceful music and the waves outside as we tried to move. Our muscles were so heavy, it was very hard to even stand up. We got up after a few minutes and then went out to the deck and sat on the lounge chairs. Helen brought us two glasses of ice cold mango juice that we sipped while watching the lizards walk by and the parrot fly from branch to branch in the sea grape tree. Oh how I wished that moment would last forever. We both knew that it wouldn't and therefore we had to get up and enjoy our last full day in Aruba.

We got up to change back into our suits and then went to the beach to say goodbye to Jamie and Stephanie. They would be leaving in about an hour to catch their flight back to New York. We chatted with them for a bit and told them we'd leave our info on their door before they left and we promised to see them again when we got back to New York. After they left, we saw Mark and Maria and we chatted with them for a bit before we went for lunch. Where did we go, you wonder? Yes...that's right. Iguana Joe's...again. What can I say? We loved this place and we wanted to get the most out of it while we were there!

We took another taxi because, well, you know, and it was exceptionally hot and humid because of the early morning rains. We hopped out of the taxi, walked up the stairs, got our usual table near the railing and we ordered our usual drinks. I decided to just do something light after the night before. My stomach still wasn't up to par by noon, so I took it easy on my consumption of greasy, fried foods. As we sat there drinking our drinks, we heard a voice from down below...he was yelling, "Joe!" It was Mark and Maria. They'd come down to check out the flea market that's right across the street from Iguana Joe's to buy some last minute souvenirs when they remembered we were going to grab some lunch. We waved them up to join us for a couple of drinks and some food. They came up and we switched tables so we could all be together. They saw our drinks and were amazed at the size of them. Mark decided to have one, but Maria passed...I think she was feeling the way that I was...too overwhelmed with all the over-indulgence of food and drink over the past couple of days.

After a couple of drinks and a few empanadas, we decided to do a little shopping with them at the flea market. Before we left, Maria and I went to the ladies room. On our way there, we saw a notice put up on the door that said, "Attention. Due to the elections on Friday September 28th, the sale of alcohol will be stopped from 6pm Thursday to 12pm on Saturday." Oh. No. What were we going to have with dinner tomorrow night on our last night here? Then we asked the people at the restaurant and said that it was only for the locals and didn't apply to the tourists. I'm guessing it's so that they can vote with a clear mind and also to prevent any sort of craziness around the island with all the campaign parties. The Aruban people really get very involved in the politics of the country. So much so that they put stickers and flags all over their cars to show support for their candidate. (insert pic of car) It's really amazing to see this since we come from a country that's so apathetic about government and voting that we end up with a guy like little Bush running the place...hmmmm...seems like something needs to change.

Once we got back from the ladies room, we headed out to the flea market. While we shopped, they asked us to go with them to the Natural Bridge...or what was left of it. I had read online that just a couple of weeks before our trip, the bridge that had been created by the rough waves the ocean, had collapsed, no one was hurt thankfully, but this major tourist attraction was now lost and the Aruban people were devastated. We wanted to go and see what happened to it and hoped that there would be something left.

We were so grateful that they'd asked us to come along with them because we really wanted to see more of the island on this trip, but we hadn't rented a car so we just figured that we'd see more of it the next time we visited Aruba.

We walked downstairs, crossed the street that was filled with cars playing loud music and yelling through megaphones and flying their candidate's flags, and purused through the market. There were all kinds of hand crafted items, a lot of pipes carved out of one piece of wood with monkey's and rastafarians all over them. There were also a lot of nearly pornographic figurines, like bananas in certain "positions" if you know what I mean...strange, yet somehow bizarrely funny.

After we spent more money than necessary on souvenirs at the flea market, we told Mark and Joe about the alcohol situation and we all decided to go to Super Food and pick up some drinks and snacks for our trip. We loaded up the car with Dutch snack foods and another bottle of Malibu rum and pineapple juice and clumsily headed back to our hotel. We all made a pit stop in our room, Joe made a few concoctions for the road, and we were off.

Maria and I sat in the back, Mark was the driver, and Joe: The Navigator. He had the map and was able to use the skill that was a gift from the gods...it never (well, rarely) fails.

Off we went on our adventure...one that you'll have to stay tuned for!

Part 5 is up next!

Aruba Part 3

2005-12-08T16:46:00.000-05:00

Happy People!
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Okay, it's been a long time since my last post, especially long since my last installment of our trip to Aruba, but we just moved! We had a lot on our plates, but now things have settled down quite a bit. On to part 3...(pictures to come)

So after we got back from the store on our semi-free ride from Miguel on our first morning (Sunday), we went in and changed and hit the beach. But before we went, we made ham and cheese sandwiches to have for our breakfast along with our newly acquired contents to make a mean breakfast cocktail. There's just something so delicious about coconut rum and pineapple juice at ten o'clock in the morning!

We lathered up with sunscreen, packed our sandwiches, drinks, and soon to become our favorite snacks, paprika chips and onion chips. We didn't realize that we really needed to mark a spot before we left because the beach was almost full, meaning that almost all of the palapas and chairs were in use. We managed to find a spot, with a few words of frustration in between, and settled in for a long day in the sun.

We ate our food, layed in the sun for about 20 minutes and then hit the water. It is unlike any other beach that I've ever been to. The sand is nearly as soft as the highest quality rug you can imagine with a firm yet squishy feeling that envelopes your toes as you walk along the water. As you walk into the clear blue sea, there is no shock to the system because it is so warm yet it cools you down with its salty, refreshing feeling. The salt content of the Caribbean sea is not quite as high as the Great Salt Lake, but you can literally float on your back, close your eyes and not have to move a muscle to stay up. What a wonderful feeling! Ah, I can just feel it now and I can picture the beach all around me...what a good relaxation technique!

So after a few hours in sun, we decided that we were hungry for real food. We went in, showered, and decided we'd go to Iguana Joe's for lunch. As we walked out of the resort to go and catch the bus, our good old friend Miguel showed up and offered us a ride. We were so excited, especially since we'd brought what was left of our drinks!

He ended up picking up another person and then drove us to the end of his route. We thanked him by handing him $2 and off we went.

After about five minutes of walking, I thought I was going to pass out and wished we had just splurged $8 to take a cab. We walked, and walked, and walked, in what we later found out to be over 100 degree heat. We finally made it to the town center, looked at Iguana Joe's with relief only to find that it was closed. Damn! I forgot that many restaurants in Aruba don't open until dinner on Sundays...ooops!

We decided to keep walking even though it was hot, but we needed to find a place to cool off and get some food. We walked through the Royal Plaza mall, which was all open air, saw a hotel bar, which was outdoor, I bought a bottle of water because I desperately needed one, and we began to argue about where to go. Hot, hungry, tired, and cranky...not a good mix of feelings.

We decided to keep on walking and eventually found their version of the "Seaport". Lots of shops and cafes, but none that looked appealing until we got to the end and saw the Crab House. Okay, this will do just fine.

We walked in and it was definitely the right place because it was air conditioned. We were the only ones there because it was only 3:30pm and the early birds hadn't yet arrived. We ordered extra large waters and whatever food looked good.

After we ate, I began to feel a little better. My pounding headache only subsided slightly, but at least I was rehydrated and felt like I'd be able to walk a little bit. We left after our meal and we opted to take the bus back to the hotel...no more walking! When we were waiting for the bus at the stop, there were about three dogs hanging out sitting in the shade and relaxing. Then, when the bus came and all the people stood up to get on the bus, the dogs got up too and started following everyone towards the bus. It definitely creeped me out a bit because who knew what they were going to do.

When we got back to the hotel, we went to the room, which had the a/c on the whole day, and we cooled down. It felt so nice to relax in a cool room, but I wanted to go out and walk on the beach to see another amazing sunset. On our walk, we saw a guy who was fishing right there on the beach. He managed to catch something, although it wasn't anything to be too proud of, unless of course he was fishing for bait for bigger fish.

We walked along and enjoyed the sunset then headed back to the room for an early night. I still wasn't feeling 100% and I was really tired. We watched a movie on TBS and then crashed.

Day 2: Monday Morning.

Though not your typical Monday morning!

I woke up at about 6:30 hearing Joe in the shower then going out with our towels. He went out to get us a spot right next to the beach and was able to beat out the older early birds. He marked our spot with our towels and his NY Giants hat...basically saying, "Don't mess with us, 'cause we're from New York!"...well, not really, it was just an easy marker for us to find our palapa.

After he went out, I fell back to sleep for another 2 hours and when I woke, Joe was still out. So, I decided to take a shower and get ready for the beach when he came back. "Guess what?", he said. I said, "What?" He said, "I was able to get 2 homework assignments done!" I couldn't believe it. He's such a motivated person...I mean, to do homework assignments while on vacation on a beautiful, tropical island in the Caribbean! The resort has free internet access in the lobby and because he was up so early, he was able to use it for as long as he needed.

Then we made more ham and havarti sandwiches and breakfast cocktails and off we went to the beach again. After more sun and swim, we decided we were hungry...this being after several hours of fun. We were definitely going to Iguana Joe's and we were taking a taxi, no question about it. We didn't want a repeat of the day before.

When we got to Iguana Joe's, there were quite a few people there because a cruise ship had pulled into port about an hour before. We were still able to get a table next to the railing so we could look down onto the street below. They were playing great music, the atmosphere was fun, the staff was very friendly, and the drinks were HUGE. If you've ever been to an old time pizza place, like good ole Pietro's, R.I.P. It used to be where the Chili's is located at Crossroads Mall and let me tell you, we used to go there every Friday, or every other Friday, and I'd get to play in the arcade room where they had my favorite Atari game, Pole Position, and free balloons on waxy-plastic sticks. There was even a fireplace in the center of the restaurant which was so awesome when it was cold out. Oh...their pizzas were my absolute favorite and I have yet to find any in the world that are even remotely close...I digress...anyway, they have these "carafes" of wine, my parents usually got one with pizza and I got to have a soda, usually Sprite or 7up...okay, here's the relationship to the two stories: Iguana Joe's would serve drinks in the SAME carafes!! Okay, not a huge deal because a lot of places have carafes for their house wines, but I got to tell you about my favorite pizza place in the whole wide world!!

So, as my hubby and I sat down to a tasty lunch, we saw the waiter bring the carafes to another couple sitting a table away...he said, "That's what I want!" I said, "Me too!" They were really tasty. I think I had the pink lemonade or some other drink, one that was green that wasn't my favorite, but nonetheless, they were great! We ordered empanadas, conch fritters (I guess it's pronounced 'konk', but we still say conch), and some sort of jerk chicken skewers. SO GOOD. We really enjoyed our lunch, but were now ready to go and look around town a bit before heading back to the beach.

All the tourists were out so we didn't want to stay long, but we did check out some of the cool, hand-made items that they were selling at the crafts booths. They had a lot of "pipes" and jewelry. There were also a lot of trinkets that they stuck an "Aruba" sticker on to make it "authentic"...it was cute.

Back to the resort, we took in some more sun for a few hours, really, really relaxed and enjoyed the day, then got ready at about 4pm for our dinner at Cuba's Cookin'...THE best empanadas ever! We got slightly dressed up and took a cab over to the Royal Plaza shopping area in Oranjestad so we could do some window shopping before the restaurant opened. We got to see the real part of town where the locals live and all the places that they shop instead of all the touristy stuff. Pretty much like any other island town, a few stray dogs here and there, shops that sell swimsuits and sunscreen, and the occasional bizzare discount store with strange looking mannequins.

Once we were done killing time before dinner, we walked over to the restaurant, checked out the menu one last time before seeing if it was open, then walked in and asked for a table. I had read that they had the best mojitos on the island so we decided to try them. I've decided that they not exactly my cup of tea only because I can't quite get my tongue around the whole lime juice/mint situation. It reminds me of all the times that I had orange juice with breakfast and then had to go and brush my teeth. I don't know about you, but that has got to be one of the worst tastes ever! Okay, the mojito is not that bad, just not my favorite. I prefer sangria or margaritas.

Along with dinner, we ordered empanadas; chicken, beef, and pork. Oh yeah. So good. They also had yucca chips with a few different sauces to dip them in...pretty good (I still like my regular corn chips and salsa) Then, the main course: ropa vieja for me (shredded steak in a sofrito sauce with rice and beans), and the grilled sampler for Joe: steak, chicken and fish, all with rice, beans, and fried sweet plaintains. Oh...so...good. It was too much food. We ended up bringing some back to the room and Joe at the rest of it for breakfast the next day. We did stay and have two cafe de leches as the tourists rolled in. We were so tired, we had to walk for a while to wake up a bit. We took the bus back to the hotel and then decided to check out the evening market next door near the Alhambra Casino. We walked through that for a bit and decided to check out the other resort again, the Costa Linda. We went to look at the gift shop there, decided not to buy anything, then thought, hey, let's have a drink here.

We chatted with the wannabe comedian bartender for the duration of 2 drinks. Joe ordered the Amstel beer called, Amstel Bright...he loved it, but unfortunately they don't import it here to the states. Then we got sleepy and it was time for bed. We had another long day of sun and swim ahead of us!

Stay tuned for Part 4...where the fun really begins!

Totally Whacked Out on Paint Fumes

2005-11-16T11:59:00.000-05:00

PaintHuffer
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Okay, yesterday I spent 12 hours in a house where I had to paint, oh let's see, 5 rooms, for the second time (I painted on Monday too) (and still one more coat is needed!). And even though every single window in the place was open and with a fan on, I still got completely loopy. My short-term memory was nearly gone...I'd walk into a room and have absolutely no clue what I was supposed to do. Then when I got home (to the place that we're moving out of), I still couldn't remember anything, I could still smell the damn latex paint in my head, I was starving, but then got a stomach ache after I finally ate real food for the first time that day (if you can consider chicken nuggets with OreIda Crispers and cream of brococcoli soup a real meal), then nearly passed out on the futon watching Princess Bride on cable and laughing to myself at how silly this movie really is.

I managed to get up, hobble to bed (I completely wrenched my back from all that painting with the extension rod), stayed up to watch the rest of Princess Bride then nodded off to a night of weird dreams only to wake feeling even more exhausted than days prior and more completely out of it. Starbucks was an absolute must once I got to work, seeing that I was laughing hysterically at a stupid joke that I would normally look at the guy like he was an idiot and then walk away...I told him how the paint fumes were getting to me yesterday and how it threatens pregnant women on the label by saing they shouldn't even touch the can of unopened paint, let alone be in the same room with it, or else...then he went on to imitate hans and frans of snl by saying, "Or else...it will 'clap' fuck, a-you up!"...I started laughing so hard I thought my sides were going to split open or that paint fumes would start coming out my ears...then off I went to get my morning caffeine high in hopes that it would act as an antidote to the toxic substances that I've been inhaling for the past two days straight.

Now that I've killed off a few ovum (who know's if I can get over my fear of having children anyway), I still have to go back on Saturday morning and put a second coat on the aforementioned rooms and then go out to celebrate hubby's birthday...oh, did I mention how we are ironing on joe's smiling face on t-shirts for souvenirs for our guests at the party? Yeah...it says, "My Parent's Had Sex 29 Years and 9 Months Ago...Be Sure to Thank Them!" Hey...it was his idea. ;-)

What else? Well, in one week and 3 days we're moving out of the hell hole known as 23-23 31st Road. Well, it wouldn't be so bad if we didn't have crazy, nosey, disrespectful, rent-raisin', drug dealin', pot smokin', stinky food cookin', loud ass motherfuckers living in our building, in which all these adjectives apply to the tentants living directly above us. It's actually quite amusing to know that there's only 20 apartments in the whole building and I honestly think it's as loud as an entire Bronx project with over a thousand apartments. Well, that may be a slight exaggeration, but only slight! So we're moving on up in the world to a 2 bedroom apartment within a 3 apartment family home. Only slightly quieter due to the semi-busy street right outside, but you know what? I'll take car horns over a bitchy 13 year old little cunt princess any day. Hey, I can only tolerate so much! Besides, the bedrooms face the back of the house which overlooks the backyard to the place instead of the street.

Also, just booked tix on JetBlue for our trip to Seattle-town...only $59 each way!!!!! For once this is going to cost us less than $500 to fly home. Finally. I mean really, you can't possibly expect people to pay $150 each way to go to Seattle in January! What a piss-ass rainy depressing time of year to go there. I can't believe they can get away with charging even that much. So, just need to book a car and then decide if we want to go back up to Vancouver for one night or over to Victoria. I'm thinking Vancouver just because there's a lot more to see, more restaurants, live music, etc. Seriously, who's going to go to Butchart Gardens in January?? Well, just now, after looking up info on traveling to Victoria, they're pretty much closed in the winter. No ferry service...at all. Looks like we'll be going to Vancouver. There's always Portland too.

Anywhoo...long post i know. I've needed to write for a long time, just been so damn busy. Oh, I was also told that I shouldn't wait until I'm pushing 40 to start having kids. Who said anything about kids? Jeez. I'M still a kid for christ's sake. Thanks a lot ob/gyn. It's not your duty to put pressure on me, that's my grandparent's duty.

My best friend Jen will be returning stateside come January from the devil land of Iraq...so I'll get to see her and toast her to 18 months of desert hell and confinement no more! A debaucherous evening is a must, if not more than one!

These guys at work here are nutters. The guy who jabbed me with that hans and frans thing earlier, randomly took a straw, in its wrapper, cut it in half, pretended it was a cigarette...walked over to his desk, used a sharpie and made it black on the end and was walking around imitating a detective...then he started coughing because he inhaled the fumes from the ink. Ha! I told you, i've been around way too much paint lately!!!

Time to stop.

So here's the summary: painting like mad and killing brane cells all the while, packing up in a very disorganized rushed way, working when i can and being terribly amused by it, trying to read Memoirs of a Geisha (it's so addicting but i'm just so freakin' busy i only have time to read on the train, but i want to finish before the movie comes out to give it all away and butcher it to pieces), ironing on hubby's face to 20 t-shirts, planning our Seatown trip, finally moving into our new place, trying to enjoy some of the holidays--sort of...because i don't really care about it anymore...just stupid consumerism driven by mass corporations avec embezzelment...I WILL NOT SPEND MONEY FOR YOU'RE STUPID AD CAMPAIGNS! (and that means you, Hallmark, with your adorably fantastic Peanuts ornaments that I love so dearly), and finally, trying to just exist amongst all this craziness.

Whew.

Until later!

WARNING: This contains a ton of swearing...but it's hilarious!

2005-10-28T09:06:00.000-04:00

Winnebago Man

This guy is the CEO of the company and is in the process of making an industrial commercial for the new line of Winnebagos. It's a collage of all the outtakes. Be sure to let everyone know that's about to watch that the "F" word is used more than once in this video.

Enjoy!

P.S. You might want a tissue or two by your side...you'll laugh so hard that you'll cry.

Winnebago Man

Happy Friday!

I'm still here!

2005-10-27T21:32:00.000-04:00

Hello all,

This is just a quick note to let you all know that I've been super busy, but that I haven't forgotten about you. We're moving in a month and have so much to do. We're also celebrating my hubby's birthday in about three weeks and have a lot of planning to do for that as well. I still owe you all the rest of our Aruba story...again, don't think that I've forgotten, I've just had so much going on that I haven't had time.

Fall is upon us here in New York...40 degrees to be exact. It's a nice change to be bundled up instead of sweating through your skin all over the place. We are also looking forward to our next trip...this time to my hometown. It will be great to see family and catch up with friends.

Off to spackle some walls and tape up boxes!

Happy Halloween!

U2, Baby!

2005-10-14T17:21:00.000-04:00

U2!
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Well, all the waiting has paid off. (As well as all the eBay stress and $$) I finally get to see U2 for the first time in concert, EVER! I can't even tell you how excited I am. I honestly think I could cry, I'm so happy. I really didn't think I'd ever get to see them considering they sell out in about 2 minutes every, single time. Thank you eBay and thank you credit card gods!

I'll be posting my review and maybe a pic or two! (sssshhhhhh.....!)

Here's to U2...one of the greatest bands in the entire world, EVER.

Sláinte!
Cheers!

Is it Monday....no it's Wednesday

2005-10-12T09:08:00.000-04:00

A Rainy Seattle Day
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Monday...I mean Wednesday.
I've been off work since Friday and I honestly had no idea what day it was when i got to work. I said to the receptionist, "Happy Rainy Monday!"...then I thought, wait a minute, it's not Monday! So, I have 3 days, 10 hour shifts each, then I'm hopefully back to another long weekend. I'm trying to get this to be my set schedule...fingers crossed!

Let's see...it's been raining for about 8 days now, pretty soon it will be 40 days and we'll need a goddamn ark to get us out of here. It's actually flooding. Hmmm...and there was 4 feet of snow in Denver yesterday! 4 feet in October in Denver! Earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, snow storms...Mother Earth is pissed.

Also, does anyone know how to transfer VHS through a cable box that has a USB port into a digital format, most likely onto a Mac and then burned onto a DVD? Or, does anyone know of another way to transfer VHS into a digital format using another means? Or do we have to buy a DVD burner/DVD player for our tv?

So I'm listening to my favorite at work online radio, Accuradio.com...they've got all these channels, Modern Rock Classics, High Fidelity, Brit Rock, Motel California, Celtic, Twang, Broadway Shows, Standards, Classical, Martha's Vinyard, Jazz, Flock of 80s, etc...but for this month only, they've got a new channel, Classic Rocktober...there's something about cool, wet, windy, stormy, dark and gloomy October days that call for classic rock, such as Moody Blues' "Nights in White Satin", or Jethro Tull's "Thick as a Brick"...or CCR's "Suzie Q"...it also reminds me of those 30 minute drives down to Federal Way with my dad in the pouring rain...or just driving around with him in general all over the place in the rain listening to KZOK and rocking out to all kinds of awesome music that he grew up with. I miss those days. Funny how you think at the time how crappy it is, being stuck in the car with your dad being forced to listen to music that's not really your taste, but you know what? That wasn't me. I loved going on long trips with my dad and having him tell me stories of when he was younger and his memories of the first time he heard those songs. I hope that I can take a trip with him again soon.

Now, onto my Monday...my happy rainy Monday.

Aruba: Part 2

2005-10-06T17:27:00.000-04:00

Gecko
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

We walked into the frenzy known as the $10 Sale that begins every Friday night and lasts until Sunday at midnight. We found crazy titles such as Clash of the Titans, The Neverending Story, Butch and the Sundance Kid, and a few other DVDs for only $10! Then I went to collect my much-desired CDs that consisted of the new Coldplay, Good Morning Vietnam, and Michael McDonald. Yes, I spent money on Michael McDonald. There are sentimental reasons behind it, trust me.

Once we gathered all that we could, we got in line for the cashier. Joe decided to throw in a box of Everlasting Gobstoppers for the ride home. I didn’t object, again, sentimental value. We walked out of there with 5 CDs and 5 DVDs. We were very happy with our $100 purchase and our box of candy from our youth.

We hurried down to the subway to catch our ride home. We managed to catch the train just pulling into the station and found a seat. We surprised the riders on the train by being extremely loud and boisterous. Hey, “We’re on vacation,” we pronounced to the car, as we laughed at how silly that was beginning to sound. We didn’t care, we were having a blast. Joe decided to open the enormous box of Everlasting Gobstoppers. The wrong way. You see, there’s this little tab that you pull out along the perforation and it creates this lovely Willy Wonka dispenser so that they don’t all spill out all over the place and that only one comes out at a time because he’s designed it so that the opening is just slightly smaller than the diameter of the Gobstopper. Sheer brilliance, I tell you! But, since Joe decided to just rip the top off, the chances of spillage went up about 300%.

As I leaned over to get a few from him, what does he do? Spills about 20 of them all over the floor of the subway. I felt like we were in a Three Stooges movie just waiting to see if the crook was about to slip and fall all over the marbles so we could tackle him. Even though it was only a few, it looked like thousands of them, yellows and greens, rolling around waiting to attack their next victim. We just watched and laughed as everyone gave us looks that implied that we were insane.

Once the hilarity calmed down a few notches, Joe had the urge to do some chin ups on the handrail hanging down from the ceiling of the train by about a foot. He couldn’t even do one! I let fly the excuse that we were drunk and left it at that. Again, more looks from annoyed passengers, but we just smiled and went about our business of being on vacation.

Our train finally pulled into our station and I was so glad we had finally arrived so we could escape the evil glances from passengers. It was about 10:30 and we decided that we should finish packing. We ran around the house in our drunken stupor trying to gather the last minute things and decided that it was ill fated from the get-go. Time for bed.

The buzzing alarm barely roused us out of our intoxicated sleep at about 6am and we had to get up so we could be ready when our friend Dave came to pick us up for breakfast at the good old BelAire diner and then onto JFK.

“Honey, are you almost done?” I hear from a woozy voice coming towards the bathroom. “Yeah, just give me a second, okay?” I said not really meaning a second, but meaning more like fifteen minutes.

“I think I need to throw up,” he said as I gathered my things at light speed and scrambled out of the bathroom to make way for the out-going vomit. I couldn’t believe it! He had way more to drink that I thought he did. I was just glad that he was getting it out of his system now instead of on the plane at 35,000 feet.

A few minutes and a few heaves later, Joe emerged from the bathroom a new man. “Whew! Am I glad I took care of that!” he said with so much enthusiasm one would never know he just sicked up his tomato soup.

“Thank god that’s over with. You were starting to make me feel like I had to throw up. I am feeling a bit woozy myself, but I really think it’s because we didn’t really eat much last night. I know I just need to eat something even if I feel like crap. I think some chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese sandwich will be perfect.” I couldn’t wait to get my hands on that sandwich. I was starving. And there was Joe, back to his tomato soup.

“Ugh! How can you go back to eating that after you just threw it up?” I asked with utter confusion. It’s bad enough to taste it twice, one of which is on the way back up, but a third time?

“I’m hungry!” he said with a stunned look upon his face like I was crazy to think that he should toss it out.

About an hour later, we managed to pack everything we needed, close all the windows, turn off all the lights, and head out within ten minutes of Dave arriving to pick us up. We piled into his Geo, no not his sexy BMW, but his Geo and headed to BelAire for some greasy hangover food.

The entire meal was accompanied with the telling of stories past of drunk experiences including getting sick. I asked them to spare me from it or else I’d be getting sick all over them. The food was perfect and within a half an hour I was good to go. No worries about our near future travels and the satisfied feeling that I’d overcome my potential for a massive headache.

We got to the airport in record time, not because Dave was speeding, but because it was only 9am on a Saturday morning. We thanked him profusely for driving us and told him we’d call him when we returned home, bearing souvenirs and tans.

We were 2 hours early for our flight. I was glad to be there and I didn’t care if we were that early. It made the entire process much smoother knowing that we didn’t have to stress about being late. We tried our best to get put on a list for upgrades to First Class, but to no avail. Because the flight wasn’t oversold, there was no chance in hell that we’d get it. They told us that everyone says that they’re either on their honeymoon or anniversary and how great it would be to ride in First Class. One actually said that those were a dime a dozen. Well! I never!

After a walk around the terminal and more soup from Au Bon Pain, we took our seats and waited for the announcement to board. There were a few babies and one extremely large couple waiting to board. I didn’t know who I wanted to sit by less, the screaming babies or the tremendously overweight couple. Ah, it didn’t matter. We were on vacation!

The boarding call finally came and we took our seats in the back seeing that we were one row in front of “the couple”. Joe says that I jinxed it just talking about it. Well, it was fine. Except for about ten minutes into the flight when the guy started snoring. He sounded like a vacuum cleaner with a tennis ball stuck in it. She had to keep nudging him to get him to stop. Again, it didn’t matter because they showed us a movie, “Kicking and Screaming”, with Will Farrell. It was a cute film about soccer, kids, and Mike Ditka. It passed the time. They passed out meals, which were actually okay. Penne pasta with bread, small salad, and a brownie. Not bad. It helped stave off hunger pangs until we landed.

Four hours later, we touched down on the beautiful paradise known as Aruba. The minute we got off the plane, it felt like a completely different world. We saw the people waiting to board our plane all tanned and very sad to be leaving. I felt bad for them knowing that we would be in their shoes exactly 7 days, but I let that go immediately because we just got there!

We proceeded to get our bags and then head for Customs and Immigration. “Clank-bang, clank-bang”, went the stamps on our passports and we were admitted. We couldn’t be more excited to get out and grab a taxi to our resort and smell the fresh, Caribbean air.

Wandering about for a few minutes, we realized where the taxi stand was located and we bee-lined it over there to be the first ones in line. A taxi came right away and we were off! They drive these tiny little cars, mostly with manual transmission to save on gas, and yes, they drive on the right side of the road. We started snapping pictures immediately and took it all in as best as our tired bodies could at that moment.

Palm trees, cactus, and the blowing trade winds were all around us as we got closer to downtown Oranjestad (locally pronounced as “Oran-yeh-stad”—the capital named after a former statesman from the Netherlands). We passed by the marina and seaport and admired the beautiful water. Little did we know that the most beautiful was yet to come. We passed by a few of those casinos and big hotels and then saw Iguana Joe’s...soon to become our favorite spot in Aruba for drinks and mid-afternoon snacks.

We continued on and were anxiously awaiting to see how far our hotel was from the downtown area. We passed by the supermarkets that I had read about online, so I knew we were close. We made a left turn then drove by the Divi Links golf course, a few resorts that were across the street from the water, and then another left by the Alhambra Casino and finally into the Manchebo Resort. It looked so nice! We got out of the taxi, tipped the guy a few bucks, were greeted by our soon to be friend Chrismo at the front desk. The lobby is a Balinese, open-aired space that had many plants and flowers blowing in the breeze from the Trade winds. There’s a large library for books to take to the beach, two computers with free Internet access (not that we’d use it...actually we found out later that it would be a blessing!), and a small souvenir shop that had all kinds of goodies from food and drinks to local Dutch crafts and chocolate.

Checking in was a breeze and we were ready to head to our room and see how it would fare to our many other hotel rooms of the past. We were lead by the bellhop (I don’t even know if that’s PC anymore!), to our room one door down from the Spa del Sol that looked out onto the beach. He gave us a few pointers about the room, we tipped him a couple of George Washingtons, and he was on his way. The room had two double beds. Damn. I totally forgot to put in the request for a king sized bed before we left. I knew there was something that I forgot! I had Joe go back to Chrismo to try to sort it out, but nothing doing. We later found out that there are only 10 rooms out of the 72 that have king sized beds. That’s weird because they tout the fact that they cater mainly to couples who want a quiet, romantic getaway. Maybe they forgot to mention that it was catered to couples in their Golden Years that normally sleep in two separate beds!

The room was totally fine and we made a go of it. We did put our name on a waiting list to see if anything opened up, but we just decided to see how it was for the night and then go from there. We unpacked, only slightly though just in case we were going to switch rooms, changed into more comfortable clothes, and headed to the Pega Pega bar for our complimentary drink. I wasn’t exactly sure how ready I was for another drink after last night, but what the hell, “We’re on vacation!”

By the time we went out to the bar, it was about 6:15pm. We ordered Pina Coladas and took them down to the beach for a stroll.

We felt the warm water under our feet and were looking forward to a lovely day at the beach tomorrow. This was the perfect time to be there because in Aruba, the sun sets much earlier than the U.S. because of their proximity to the equator. Sunset is at 6:30 every night and let me tell you, it was a beauty. We enjoyed our first romantic sunset on the beach with our delicious beverages and tried to take it all in. Then we got hungry.

For our first dinner, we decided to eat at the restaurant in our resort called, The French Steakhouse. We dined right next to the pool and enjoyed a nice breeze with a live jazz saxophone soloist. We decided to go all out and order a bottle of wine. Hey, there’s that saying, “Have a little hair of the dog that bit you”, and all will be well! I ordered the two steak medallions with the jumbo shrimp on top and Joe had the beef curry and rice. It was delicious. It absolutely melted in my mouth. It should have because it was cooked to a tender medium-rare in a lemon butter sauce. Oh. Yeah. It was a fantastic first dinner in Aruba.

Towards the end of our meal, we asked our server about the grocery stores in the area and how late they were open until. We wanted to pick up some goodies to keep in the room for when we got hungry as well as some drinks so we wouldn’t have to keep paying bar prices. He told us that they had already closed but that there was a shop at the next resort, the Costa Linda, and they were open pretty late.

So we walked over to the next hotel and noticed how much bigger it was than ours and then how glad we were to be in our hotel. It was a high-rise place with lots of little kids running around and it would take about 10 minutes just to get to the beach. It was showy and annoying. But, we got what we needed from the store, $4 cheese puffs, cereal, milk, peanuts, and more suntan lotion. We were outraged by the total, but then realized the next day that it wasn’t too far off from the usual prices in Aruba.

We went back to our hotel room with our goodies and nearly stepped on a few lizards along the way. They really are so colorful and they super fast too. I noticed how they put weather stripping stuff on the bottom of the door so those little guys can’t get into the room, but the next day when the maids were cleaning the rooms, I noticed how they keep the doors wide open while they work. Well, that sort of goes against the whole point of the strip on the door! Luckily, we never saw one and I didn’t have to freak out in the middle of the night. I did, however, think that I heard something crawling around behind the headboard (made of a woven wicker-type material). Nothing ever materialized so I just assumed it was something that I imagined in my dreamy sleep.

Our first morning: Absolutely spectacular! I was a bit groggy when I woke up, but then once I looked outside, I couldn’t wait to get up and get out there.

Joe and I got up and decided that we wanted to go to the store and get our supplies for the week. We wanted to go early before it got too hot and so that we could get a good spot on the beach. I had read that it wasn't necessary to get up at the crack of dawn to get a spot...well, we found out later that this was the week of the early birds. It was just after 9am and it was already blazing hot. We got to walk by all of the places that we saw in the taxi on the way to the resort, including lots of lizards, even a huge Iguana!

After trudging through the hot sun (turns out today was day one and two of extraordinarily hot days for Aruba: 100+ degrees), we made it to the supermarket called, Super Food. It was like an air-conditioned heaven with as much food, wine, beer, liquor, and snacks that you could ever imagine! We grabbed smooth Havarti cheese, some smoked ham, white bread, squeezable mayo and mustard, some coffee glazed cookies, a few bottles of Bacardi coconut rum, pineapple juice and coca-cola and we were good to go. Oh, but I can't forget about our most valuable purchase of all. 24 ounce styrofoam cups with lids and straws. These were huge and they came in a pack of 24 so we had plenty to last us the duration of our stay. Thanks to me and my bright idea, we would be set with ice cold drinks for the beach. We paid with cash this time and got some cool Aruban Florins back in change. I love getting money from other countries. I collect it in a little jar in my closet and reminsce about all of my foreign holidays. Out we went into the almost unbearable heat.

As we started walking back from the store, a man that Joe calls Miguel, came up to us in this 6 passenger golf cart and asked if we needed a ride. We gladly accepted and I told Joe that I was right, these guys do this all the time and we would just need to tip him like a buck or two.

It was such a relief to get a ride back to the hotel. He really saved us. Now into the room to make some sandwiches and some ice cold beverages for the beach.

Stay tuned for Part 3

An Island Paradise

2005-09-29T17:41:00.000-04:00

Gorgeous sunset
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

It all began the night before our flight. My hubby and I decided to go for a few drinks at Solas to say farewell to our lovely bartender friend, Aoife (pronounced eefa, she's Irish). We arrived promptly at 4:15pm, just after the beginning of Happy Hour (4pm-8pm 7 days), and staked out our corner of the bar.

A few minutes and one margarita later, a group of ladies from somewhere in the Midwest showed up and ordered "frozen" margaritas only to be completely disappointed by the fact that Solas doesn't own any blenders. They settled for "on the rocks" with salt and began to loudly discuss the fact that they are wedding planner types and went on to talk about dresses, flowers, and jewelry.

"Jayzus", as our friend said with an Irish accent. "Come on and move down here," and she pointed us to the other end of the bar near the wait station. She felt guilty for doing that, but she just couldn't be bothered to listen to such "shite" from these "frumpy Midwesterners". We were quite thankful as well.

Next thing you know, we've each downed 3 or more margaritas and a few specialty shots of liquor, courtesy of Aoife, and we were running off at the mouth. The hubby’s favorite line to protest: “I’m on vacation!” This was proudly stated after each accusation of misbehaving and debaucherous activity. He didn’t care because, “I’m on vacation!” No one could say anything to that, especially after the previous several months of ass kicking work. He completely deserved this holiday and was going to enjoy every minute, dammit!

We hung out until 8pm when we were cut off. Well, I decided that we needed to go to Virgin Megastore and unnecessarily spend money on cds for our trip. We said our goodbyes and stumbled down the street towards the massive media superstore.

End of part 1
The names have been changed to protect the innocent

We're Back

2005-09-26T17:25:00.000-04:00

Beach
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Here's our first photo...click on it to go to the rest...will blog later.

Less than 36 Hours!

2005-09-15T21:32:00.000-04:00

I'm technically on vacation as of right........now!

I feel pretty good...a little tired, but ready to have a nice and relaxing vacation. Still have packing to do, but hey, we won't be wearing a lot of clothes so it doesn't really matter what we bring!

On a side note, I had to turn on "word verification" to the comments. I recieved my first naughty spam comment, just like spam in your email. So, if anyone wants to comment, do just as you normally would, but at the bottom, you just have to look at the word and type it as you see it and hit "publish". This keeps those pesky computer hackers from sending inappropriate comments to my blog. I don't want to see it and I can bet you that my grandparent's don't either!

So...I'm off for now, but when I return I'll have plenty of photos to share with you all.

Have a great week everyone!

~the Happiest Gillmore ever

5 Days and Counting

2005-09-12T10:20:00.000-04:00

Aruba Collage
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Doesn't this look so inviting? I can just imagine walking barefoot from the hotel out to the beach with a frosty pina colada in hand and settling in for a long day of swim and sun, and most of all, relaxation.

This is a much needed vacation after quite a stressful summer. Things are looking up now, but will definitely be better once we've had some R&R in Aruba.

Our itinerary:

Wake up
Eat breakfast
Beach
Swim
Drinks
Beach
Swim
Lunch
Beach
Swim
Drinks
Shower and change
Nice dinner out
Drinks
Dessert
Nightcap
Sleep

This is exactly what we plan on doing for 7 days...with only the slightest change by going to the city and possibly renting either a Jeep or mopeds for a day to explore the rest of the island.

This is our last summer hurrah and plan on going out with a bang. We wish you could all be there with us...maybe next time!

5 days:1 hour:20 minutes

Remembering...

2005-09-11T15:56:00.000-04:00

This is an excerpt from my mini-biography of my time here in New York. I wanted to post this today as we remember those that we lost. If anyone would like to comment by telling their story, I encourage you to do so. We must move on, but we must also always remember.

Location: 85 John Street, 12th floor apartment. 4 blocks from The World Trade Center

I jumped awake at 8:35am on Tuesday morning, September the 11th, not knowing what had awakend me, then I put my head back on the pillow and dozed for a few more minutes. Josh had just come home from his overnight shift and was out with our dog Spencer for his morning walk, so I thought maybe he slammed the door and that's what had jolted me out of my sleep.

Then about five minutes later, I hear him come in and I heard him unleashing Spencer.

He came into the bedroom and I tiredly said, "Hi."

He said, "Hey, so, some plane hit one of the Towers."

I said, "Really?"

He said, "Yeah, at least that's what some people on the street are saying. Like a Cessna or something. There's papers flying around all over the place."

"Could you see anything else?", I said wondering what could have happened.

"No, because you know how that one building is in the way of the North tower and you can't see it from here?", he said.

I remembered as I visualized our view of the towers from outside our apartment building. "Oh yeah, that's right. Let's turn on the news and see if they have anything about it".

There was a weird time lapse here because what we saw on TV was so unreal, it felt like an eternity before what happened next. We thought it was just a weird accident, but then thought of all the things to accidentally run into, that was a big coincidence...

As we watched Aaron Brown on CNN at 9am, we saw live pictures of smoke pouring out of the north tower. We watched in awe and horror when we saw it live: the second plane hitting the south tower.

This one we felt.

In our living room.

I remember feeling so scared especially knowing that we were only a few short blocks from the towers and then when we had heard of the two other planes: one that hit the Pentagon and the other that had crashed in Pennsylvania. We kept thinking there was a full-scale attack on the U.S. and we had no idea what to do. We called everyone we could to let them know we were okay, most of which we couldn't get through to because of the lines being completely jammed.

I called my mom at 6am pacific time waking her to the horror that we were living through at that moment. So we watched as the day progressed, feeling total fear, anxiety and all of the physical symptoms that go with that...I felt like I had the the worst possible case of the stomach flu, it was so awful.

Around 9:30, the first building collapsed. We thought that the world around us was being bombed...we ran from the windows as we peered out over our kitchen counter as the debris swirled past our windows at great speed. It looked like we were in the middle of a smokey tornado as we heard the loud earthshaking rumble. We were terrified. We tried to make more calls but couldn't get through to anyone.

Then the second building collapsed. More horror. We honestly didn't know what to do. In hindsight, we should have left before the buildings collapsed because now we were stuck until the air cleared...unbeknownst to us, that would be several weeks before anyone could safely breathe the air in lower Manhattan.

At about 4pm, after not being able to contact many people and losing our cable which was our only way of knowing what was going on, we ventured downstairs to speak with our doorman. He told us that they were going to close the building and that everyone needed to evacuate within the next hour.

The power had just shut off and thankfully, we hadn't gone to the elevator to get back up to our apartment on the twelfth floor. We walked all the way up, hurriedly packed what we could, and got out of there. It was total confusion. I couldn't think straight and was so scared and shocked at what was happening, I forgot my ID. We managed to get enough food for our dog, a change of clothes, water, and a few other things, but I forgot my drivers license...it was in the back pocket of one of my pants that I'd worn just the day before. This was a huge mistake.

We had a tentative plan to get out and try calling my friend Lily who lives in Brooklyn, just across the bridge. I managed to get through to her and she said to come over right away and that we could stay for as long as we needed. We were so thankful that she lived in Brooklyn. The smoke was still everywhere and we did our best to cover our mouths and noses so we could try to avoid breathing it all in. It was the most disturbing, pungent, acrid, sickening smell that you could imagine. I can still recall it to this day and if I ever smell anything even remotely like it, it triggers all of those memories of that day.

We walked out of our apartment looking around at the people putting up posters for the missing, evacuating their homes, and even a drunk man shouting that we deserved all of this. We managed to get to the Brooklyn Bridge in no time at all and soon the scene would be behind us. The most haunting image of that day was not of the second plane crashing into the second tower or of the storm of debris making the sky turn dark, but it was the view from the bridge with the sun shining through the enormous plume of smoke. It shone through onto the earth in the bloodiest red of reds. It looked like a special effect from one of those horror movies, but it wasn't.

This was real.

It still haunts my dreams to this day. We looked back with fear, sadness, and relief. Our emotions were so overwhelming, we had to keep walking, keep moving.

We finally made it across the bridge along with the thousands of others fleeing the horrific tragedy trying to find some sort of refuge and sanity. We got to our friend's house and I was finally able to call my dad and my grandparents. We tried to settle in as best as we could, went to Old Navy to get some new clothes (the ones we wore on our escape smelled of that terrible smell...death and destruction-I’ve since thrown away those clothes that i wore that day) We then got some food and tried to eat because we knew we had to. I could barely swallow, the lump in my throat was so huge. Then we went to a friend's to bond and try to make sense of it all.

Unfortunately, we all got a little drunk and it turned into a huge emotional mess, as you can imagine...but it was the only thing we could do to feel even just slightly better.

Every time we heard a siren, or a loud noise, we jumped and our hearts raced with fear. Again, I'm still weary of sirens and even of seeing planes fly overhead. And loud noises, forget it...i still jump and try to see what it was to make such a loud noise.

We ended up staying at Lily's for 3 days and decided we'd try to get to Queens which is where we both used to live before we moved to lower Manhattan. Our old roommates still lived in our old house so we decided to go there, some place familiar before this day.

We stayed there 2 nights and one of our roommates was going to rent a car and drive to Minnesota which is where his family is located.

I asked him, "Is there anyway I can hitch a ride with you?"

Tim said, "Sure, where to?"

I said, "To Michigan."

My aunt and uncle live there and I absolutely had to see family or I would totally lose it. We left the next day and drove non-stop until we hit Columbus, OH...we brought along another friend of ours so she could get home to her family as well. Then we drove up to Ann Arbor, Michigan where I stayed with my aunt's boss' daughter who was in college there.

I got in around 8am and she let me sleep in her bed until my aunt Pat and uncle Richard came to get me later that afternoon. They live in Traverse City which is about 4 hours away. I remember waking up to the sound of my aunt's voice and I immediately felt comforted and safe. I had slept for almost 9 hours that day and i thanked her for being so kind to take in a total stranger to sleep in her bed.

I felt better, although I felt a little guilty too. Josh decided that he wanted to stay in New York until his sister who lived just across the river in New Jersey could come and get him and Spencer. It took several days before they opened the city to any outside traffic. He preferred to see his family so we went our separate ways. My guilt soon left as I began to feel so much better just by being around loving family in the safety of Michigan.

I remember stopping in Grand Rapids for dinner at some Italian restaurant and that our waitress had somehow brought up the whole terrorist attack thing like it was no big deal and i just looked at her and said, "I live in New York. I just came from there...I was four blocks away!" , I said as tears began to well up in my eyes.

I was so hurt by her apathy and I wanted to smack her for her ignorance and tell her what it was really like, that it wasn't just some movie on television...but Pat, my aunt, loving and totally understanding as she is, said to me after she left, "Remember, she lives here, like us, in Michigan...a thousand miles away from it all...all she knows is what she's seen on TV, and to her it probably just seems like another one of those movies about terrorists and destruction...just try to remember that."

I knew she was right, but at the time, that wasn't what I wanted her to say. I wanted her to side with me and say, "Yes...she was right in the middle of this thing...so don't take it so lightly." She made the right choice because I agreed and understood and was able to see another perspective of this whole horrible thing.

I ended up staying there with them for 2 weeks. My job was closed due to the extreme proximity to ground zero...I was getting paid, a small amount, but it really didn't matter to me. I just wanted to be safe and sound and away from it all. My aunt and uncle live in this beautiful, huge log cabin in the woods surrounded by birch trees that turn gorgeous colors in the fall, a stream that flows through their back yard, and a Zen garden with a large Buddha statue in the center. They live on about 20 acres that is well preserved and that they use for walks and snowshoeing in the winter. It is by far, THE most peaceful place I've ever been in my life. At night you can hear the sound of the stream and look out under the moonlight and see the garden in the back. It was exactly what I needed. I almost moved there...I absolutely did not want to go back to New York. But I had to. My whole life was there...including Josh. We had already been on the rocks because of my depression, but I knew I had to stick it out. In fact, I'd even flown to Michigan just two months before to get away and relax for a week and try to sort things out. When I got back, I didn't feel much better...only wanting to leave NY even more.

So after two weeks, I went back...only to be surrounded by the morbid ground zero, grieving and death. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. It was so somber. The only thing that I could compare this to was Paris after Princess Di was killed in that accident (Kevin and I were there 3 days after it happened). But of course, that was absolutely nothing like this.

And the smell. I had to cover all of the vents in our apartment with dryer sheets and plastic wrap to try to filter out that horrible smell. It lasted for about a month and a half.

Josh was still working nights so I was always alone at night...that's when Spencer became my best friend. If I didn't have him during that time, I don't think I would have made it, honestly. He saved me and my ability to have hope that things would be okay.

So, I called my office before I came back to see when they would reopen. It was for Sept. 23rd or something, so I planned on taking Amtrak from Detroit to Penn station...it was a train that left at 10pm and got into NY around 5pm the next day.

I was terrified. I knew it would be okay, but it felt like we were always under the threat of an attack. I thought for sure our train was going to be blown up. What fear and post-traumatic stress will do to a person.

I had purchased a cheap cd walkman, some cds, the Lord of the Rings book set, and brought snacks. I also bought a journal so I could write as much as possible to hopefully get it all out and help me work through this. The music and LOTR really helped me get through that trip.

I made it back and had about 2 days before I had to go back to work. But instead of going to the original site, at the World Financial Center, they leased a spot on Broadway and Fulton street, 2 blocks from my house, but more importantly: overlooking ground zero.

I worked only one night.

By halfway through my shift, I had a massive anxiety attack coupled with the post-traumatic stress and quit the next day.

I couldn't take it mentally or physically. Remember how I said the smell was so acrid? Well, this was half a block from the site and the air that was being sucked into the building for ventilation was being drawn in from there. My eyes burned, my head ached, and I began to cry. I left early that night and I never returned.

I actually claimed unemployment even though I didn't get laid off, but it was just such an extreme situation and I had no other job, I had to do it. I ended up going to court and fighting the temp agency to grant me the money, and I won, but if that isn't an extraordinary circumstance, then I don't know what is.

I ended up back at UBS for work in mid-October 2001. I actually had to plead for them to give me my old job back. I couldn't believe I had to twist their arm to let me back. Look at what just happened!! Have some compassion for those who were closest, who had to evacuate their homes, who's lives are forever changed, and who desperately need work to start moving forward with their lives. I shouldn't have had to beg for anything at that point. Sometimes I just don't know what this world is coming to. After much persuasion (I'd only been gone for 9 months), Shelley, the boss, gave me my job back. I was very thankful, but also very bitter about having to go back and work for someone who was so worried about the bottom line, she had to be persuaded to allow me to come back.

I can only hope that after this world changing event, people have learned to live their lives to the fullest, treat each other with respect and kindness, and to become more compassionate toward those who are less fortunate.

It's time for a change and this is just a reminder to do so immediately.

Please take a moment today to remember where you were on this date and to reflect upon your lives.

Live boldly, live compassionately.

Peace to you all.

Manhattan Bike Ride

2005-09-07T21:09:00.000-04:00

Westside of Manhattan
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Whew! What a weekend! Labor Day wasn't exactly labor free as so many would think. We were quite active this "last" weekend of summer. Friday night we went out for a couple of drinks at our favorite spot, Solas...had a few lovely margaritas on the rocks and chatted with our Irish sweetheart of a bartender, Una...then headed for some Indian food at Raj Mahal. So good it stayed with us all night. Dan, I'm sure you remember going there!

Then we had to run off to a party in BFE Queens for a going-away for a friend. Fatigue started to set in and I got a little cranky...I drank water all night because 1. I was the driver and 2. Indian food made me super thirsty! We FINALLY got home around 1am...just the opposite of what I wanted to do since we were going to get up early for our ride in the city.

We actually managed to get into Manhattan by about noon and were on the road less than fifteen minutes later. We started out on 53rd and 9th avenue and headed to the west side bike/jogger/walker path. It's great. All newly paved with bike lanes and walking lanes. It's lined with wildflowers and the Hudson river. We cruised down past the heliport and watched those guys take off and blow off our hats. Then we went past the Intrepid and looked at the lines of tourists waiting to board the historic air craft carrier and take tons of photos.

After that, we saw Chelsea Piers, the biggest sports and recreation center in Manhattan. If anyone's seen Happy Gillmore, not me, the movie, and Adam Sandler is at the driving range in NY, that's the place! (disclaimer...not 100% certain that it was Happy Gillmore, but 100% certain that it was Adam Sandler...anyone who knows for sure, please comment!) After that we ran into Charles Street Pier. A beautifully modern pier covered in grass with benches, misters (both water and men!), and a gorgeous view of the city skyline and the Statue of Liberty. Let me put it this way, if Joe was alone, he'd be in serious trouble trying to keep the guys away! It's right next to the West Village...notorious for the alternative lifestyle.
We continued on after our few heterosexual photos down to Battery Park. On the way, we stopped by the Wintergarden that's right on the marina behind the World Trade Center. All kinds of people were out walking, eating at the outdoor cafes and participating in the US Open viewing spot. They'd actually set up a small grandstand and a HUGE flat screen tv with the live footage of the US Open. They also set up a "batting cage" except it was for tennis...you had to hit the ball into the hole and you could win a visor or something from American Express...we skipped that whole thing.

Now onto Battery Park. It was INSANELY busy that day with the last of the tourists trying to get on the Liberty Cruise to the island. We actually had to get off our bikes and ride on the road because there were so many people on the path. We took a shortcut and wound up next to FDR drive along the East River. This is where we were intending to go, but without the detour of nearly running over every person coming off the Staten Island Ferry.

We finally got onto the designated bike path, avoiding merging onto FDR drive with it's crazy motorists, and casually cruised up to the South Street Seaport. We didn't hang out there long because again, this is a major tourist trap and we had to avoid maming these annoying folk as we tried to get uptown. Eventually we made it through and continued up to the viewpoint of the Brooklyn Bridge. We took a few shots and went on our way. We went up along the backside of Chinatown and the Lower East Side. By this time, we'd been on the road for about 2 hours and had worked up an appetite. We decided to take the Houston Street exit and try riding on the streets to find an outdoor cafe to have some brunch/lunch. We rode Westward on Houston until we hit Avenue C. It's such a different perspective from a bike. I loved it. We rode up to Avenue B and Tompkin's Square Park and found a place called Life Cafe. It was OK. We got to sit outside with our bikes right next to us and enjoy a mediocre lunch. At least we had huge glasses of iced tea to wet our whistles!
After lunch, we continued up Avenue B to 14th street. Surprisingly, I was very comfortable riding on the very busy, and narrow streets of the city. My initial fear was that someone would just fling open their car door and I'd go flying right into it. I let that go because I had a helmet on and I knew the chances were pretty slim.
We got up to 14th street and were able to get back on the bike path along FDR drive and the East River. It was such a lovely day! So many people were out enjoying the warm day (very low humidity, FINALLY) and it was such a great ride through places we normally wouldn't see by foot or by car.
Amazingly, we got to 34th street in no time at all and were re-routed to 1st Avenue away from the bike path. The reason for this is because it didn't exist beyond 34th Street. We headed towards 1st Avenue...I was a little scared because it was a major avenue in the city and I knew that cars cruise pretty damn fast up these streets. I bit the bullet and took off up the hill. We passed the UN...they'd taken all the flags down for Labor Day weekend so we decided not to take any pictures at all...sorry!
We continued on until we went under the 59th street bridge and turned left on 67th Street. With ease, we rode along 67th street until we literally ran into Central Park. We decided that because we still had about 3 hours, we'd ride on through. We went up to the 72nd Street entrance to the park. How awesome was this!!! During the weekend, NO CARS are allowed in the park so we had 4 lanes to ourselves...well, we had to share with the other cyclists and runners, but it was a lot better than dealing with speed demons on 1st Avenue. We leisurely rode through the park up beyond the Great Lawn and eventually found the Reservoir. We took a few pictures from here and then kept on going. Next thing we knew, we were at 108th Street!! It was so easy!
We turned West and found this lovely pond and snapped a few more on the camera. After we rested for a couple of minutes, we hopped back on our mountain bikes and took off towards the South side of the park. Before we knew it, we were at Columbus Circle!! Which, for those of you who don't know, is 59th Street. Holy cow! We looked at each other with amazement. Neither of us had been on a bike in less than 8 years. We couldn't believe that we'd been able to ride this far in this amount of time.
By now, it was about 5pm. We had to get the bikes back by 6pm for closing time. We turned west from Columbus Circle and tried to find the same West Side bike path that we'd been on earlier in the day that was about 10 blocks south of where we were.
We got a little lost trying to find the entrance, but eventually we found it and this is where this photo was taken. Such a gorgeous day. I know I keep saying that, but this summer was so goddamn hot and humid we couldn't really bear to be out in it. Now that fall is coming, it's so much like Seattle, it makes me homesick.
We stopped for a potty break and water then cruised on down to 53rd street. We returned the bikes on time and were sad that the day was over. Surprisingly, we weren't totally wiped out. I guess we're in better shape than we thought. What a way to find out!
We felt like food so we stopped by Whole Foods, picked up a roasted chicken and took it home to enjoy with some stuffing and creamed spinach with a glass of wine. It was a great ending to a wonderful day. I think we're already planning on going again after we get back from our vacation.

(To see the rest of the photos from our bike journey, click on this one and follow the photostream)

Manrola, Cinqueterre--Italy

2005-09-01T10:41:00.000-04:00

Manrola, cinqueterre
Originally uploaded by Lasagna Boy.

Now, this is what I'M talking about! We are definitely going to visit Cinqueterre, Italy when we go in March.

Hopefully we can afford it...the gas prices are skyrocketing and who knows how it will affect the prices of airline tickets. And the dollar? Forget about it. The Euro's got so much more value than our dollar right now, and it's only getting worse. This administration has effectively fucked the U.S. economy for many reasons...ones that we are all too familiar with over the past few years.

God...and we still have 3 more years of this.

I'm begging the people of this country, seek out someone with the drive, passion, and power to change this over-capitalized, money-hungry, oil-guzzling, globally-overtaking government. We need another JFK or FDR to reinstate the balance and economic stability of this nation. Oh, and lest we forget: PULL THE TROOPS OUT OF IRAQ.

We need a change NOW.

So much for a happy post about Italy.

What a weekend!

2005-08-30T11:42:00.000-04:00

flight 001
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Friday at work I got to see a friend that I hadn't seen in quite some time and we had GOOD conversation: travel, politics, the fact that we hate globalization and that it's ruining the unique cultures of the world...etc. I listened to some great music online all day and was totally psyched to go and pick it up over the weekend. Then, as promised, I was going to "make" dinner for us and that it would be a surprise. Little did Joe know that I was planning on going to Popeye's to get southern fried chicken with cajun gravied mashed potatoes and buttermilk biscuits. There was NO WAY that I wanted to cook so I splurged $10 for a meal for the two of us. I called him when I was about 3 minutes from home and said, "Hi there...pour two glasses of the sauvignon blanc...i'll be home in a minute" He was very surprised and really happy about it. We toasted to the end of a hellish week and dug into our din-din. We watched a couple episodes of the Simpsons on the season 6 dvd then he had to go and finish his studying for his final exam that was on Saturday.

I played my Asterix and Obelix Kick Buttix game for about 2 hours then went to beddy-bye. I slept pretty well and was pleasantly awakened by my hubby. We got up, grabbed the car and headed into the city for breakfast and then to pick up my newly framed pics from the antique store. Lissa was SO excited! We had a great brunch at Pennyfeathers Cafe on 7th and Bleecker. I'll be sure to bring folks there in the future when they come to visit, right-o dan-o?

After our amazin' breakfast, we did a little shopping around until the antique place opened up. We walked to this fantastic store called Flight 101...all kinds of super cool travel supplies. I actually found something that has been helping me now, in addition to the future travel. It's a nasal spray called, Flight Spray that has only 3 natural ingredients: spearmint, tumeric, and distilled water. This stuff works WONDERS! It's meant to keep sinues hydrated on long, drying flights which ultimately helps the immune system fight of potential colds/flus from being stuck in a plane with sicky-sick people. I've used it every day now since Saturday and have had next to Zero problems with the old nasty sinueses! Woo hoo! We also got some super neon bright rubber luggage tags and I finally got the inflatable neck pillow that I've been wanting forever...these are much better than the ones with the beans in them because this one you can adjust the firmness and therefore be able to fill it so that your head doesn't drop too far left or right so you don't wake up with a horrible kink. An amazing invention, seriously.

After our shopping, we headed to pick up the framed prints...they look fabulous. So glad I spent the money! (Although Joe would beg to differ on that!) We headed home, Joe took his test, I played more video game, then showered to get ready to meet Mike for our Happy Hour Happy Birthday drinks at Solas (another great place to take you Danny boy) $4 margaritas made by our new friend, Una, originally from Ireland...she's so damn cool. We hung out there for several hours...$65 later we decided that Belgian frites and then karaoke were an absolute must do on the evening's agenda.

We walked over a few blocks to the Belgian Frite place...we got the usual...Thai Peanut sauce, our friend's got the sun-dried tomato-mayo (so good), and another friend got the sweet chili (too sweet in my opinion.) We stood outside in our drunken hunger, devouring our frites...joe snuck away to Toy Tokyo and picked up those Chinese poppers...we randomly threw them at all the people walking down 2nd ave...No one got hurt! Then off to karaoke!

What a blast! I tried to do my best version of Pat Benetar's "Love is a Battlefield" and failed miserably...still fun though! We tried to find Brian Ferry and the Pretenders but no luck! We couldn't believe it! Sweet Caroline, TLC-Diggin' on You, some Eminem song that was incredibly done by our friend Tasayu (a fellow Thai buddy of Mike's), a Door's or Zepplin song--not sure which one Joe picked, so many more that i've forgotten and then the grand finale by my choice, The Piano Man (B.Joel)

I wish I could remember them all. I do have a bunch on my camera that i videoed so that will jog the drunken memories and act as some blackmale fodder. I do remember drinking Strawberry Blond though, does that count?

Then we staggered home on the train and had a long sleep...

...the next morning...

uuuggghhhh...."No I don't want to go to the amusement park today!" (ahem...for obvious reasons, thank you very much.)

We sat around for the morning, got up, went into the city to Union Square's Virgin Megastore, picked up the new Weezer, Bloc Party and Belle & Sebastian (both for only $10!) and this new guy from Canada, Kyle Riabko (yes he looks like Aaron Carter and dresses like John Mayer, but let me tell you, it's pretty darn good stuff, especially the track, Carry On) I also managed to find and buy, get this, Lost in Translation AND American Beauty each for $10!!! Gotta love Virgin (sometimes)...then we headed to B&N for a little book purusal then hopped on the R to Queens for some Thai food. Green chicken curry and crispy garlic duck...yummy...unfortunately, I was still feeling a bit queasy so I didn't eat that much. Still good though!

Off home and off to bed....whew. What a fun weekend!

What's on for this weekend? Not sure yet!

Sink Kitty

2005-08-30T10:13:00.001-04:00

sink kitty
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Okay, as most of you may, or may not know, I'm not really a cat person...partially because of allergies and partially because I've had some BAD experiences with cats.

One Nina in particular.

This was my old roommate's cat who had been living in my room before I moved in for quite some time, so basically it had become HER room along with the futon that was in there as well.

After I moved in, we had a few disagreements. She didn't like the fact that I was staying in her room all night and not letting her in to hang out and watch tv with me. But instead of yelling at me through the door and telling me to get out, she would scratch on the door, and I'm not talking the normal kitty scratch, I'm talking, wake the dead from their eternal sleep with nails on the infinite chalkboard scratch. In addition to this deafening noise, she screeched and meowed like a cat getting it from a Lion and practically caused me to open the window and toss her out and happily brush off my hands with a victorious smile on my face.

Oh come on, I only thought about it! I wouldn't EVER do that to anything, not even a cat from hell. The reason for this is because even with industrial strength ear plugs, she managed to torment me and keep me from my precious sleep for weeks at a time.

What did my roommate say about all of this, you ask?

"Oh, she's just jealous that you took her room. I'm sure she'll stop."

Are you fucking mad? This has been going on for weeks and there is definitely no end in sight until he did something about it. Oh yeah, I also forgot to say that she'd been spraying her stuff all over the house too...the futon in the living room, the floor, and even the wall by my door. Ahhh yes... we were living in a kitty out house. Lovely.

"We have to do something about this or I'm going to have to move out. And I'm not kidding."

The roommate, "Well, I'll just put her in my room at night. She doesn't bother me."

Good. What a relief. Then at least I don't have to deal with it anymore.

Wrong.

The first night, the roommate decided to go to the toilet and completely forgot that Nina was in his room. To say the least, she escaped and took out some serious revenge on my door. I jumped up out of my sleep thinking I was just having a bad nightmare because I knew that she was supposed to be in his room.

I flung open the door and sure enough, there she was looking up at me with vindictive eyes ready to pounce and scratch me to death. I stomped my feet at her and she ran away. I came out of my room, closed the door and knocked on my roommate's. He didn't answer! He was passed out, dead to the world, and I had to put up with the cat for another night.

A few nights passed and she was actually okay. He wrote it off that it was bad before because she was in heat.

"She's in what?!?" I said in total disbelief because I knew that the cat was almost 8 years old. "Are you kidding me? Well of course that's what it is! Why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know, I guess I didn't think it was a big deal, you know?" he said.

"Well it IS a big deal and you need to take care of it." I wasn't about to let this cat continue to ruin my life and take away my precious sleep.

After doing much research, I found that it was actually much better for her to get it done to protect her female feline health. There's all sorts of problems and diseases that girl kitties get if they aren't fixed.

But before he took care of it, Nina struck again.

There was one night when my b-friend (now hubby) was over and we were going to head out and have dinner. We were always very cautious about keeping my door shut, but somehow, someway, she managed to run into my room at light speed when we were closing it on our way out.

We came home about two hours later to find that not only was she in my room with the door shut, but that she'd pissed on the futon in the dead center of the mattress in a radius of about 3 feet.

Lividness ensued.

Yours truly had never been so infuriated in all her life. Screaming, objects flying all around, death threats and the lot. I thought that the neighbors would call the cops and report a domestic violence incident.

Not only was it absolutely disgusting, but she'd also managed to shed about a pound of her goddamn fur all over the bed for Joe to go into anaphylactic shock. Oh, did I forget to mention that he is terribly allergic to cats, more so than me?

After I unleashed the fury on my roommate, I apologized and he agreed to take care of the situation in the next day or two.

A few weeks passed since her little procedure and sure enough, no more scratching, no more screeching moans outside my bedroom door, and best of all, no more pissing on EVERYTHING in the house.

So, that's my story of Nina and why I have issues with cats. I couldn't resist posting a picture of this one though because it's so damn cute due to it's furry, chubby face and the fact that it only exists to me in this photo, and not in real life to torment me.

Aaaah...Cuba

2005-08-27T15:05:00.000-04:00

Aaaah...Cuba
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Here's a photo of one of my newest acquisitions. It really looks great on my wall...ha!

Limonade Brault

2005-08-26T12:06:00.000-04:00

Limonade Brault
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Unfortunately, this photo does not do justice to the original...THAT I HAVE!

Last week I posted about my day on the town and how I found a store that was going out of business. Just about everything in the store was 50% off. I had to go in and check it out.

This is what I found.

It's an original.

I'm picking it up tomorrow along with the three others of which I can post photos of later here on the old blog.

SO...EXCITED...

I only have 2 originals and they were gifts to me from my uncle who's an artist...so you know, to find something on my own is amazing.

Hopefully I can take a better picture of it than this one that was on a vintage art website.

Art hunting is fun!

Listening Post on Accuradio.com

2005-08-26T11:01:00.000-04:00

logo_large
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

I discovered this about two years ago when I was at work bored out of my skull. It's a free service (donations gladly accepted though) and my recent discovery within the site is the Listening Post. You can hear new albums from groups like Bloc Party, Beck, Weezer, Turin Brakes (one of my personal favs--seen 'em twice @ Bowery Ballroom--fantastic show!) Billy Corgan, Ben Folds, Belle & Sebastian, Sleater-Kinney, Fountains of Wayne, Ryan Adams, Oasis, the Eels, Audioslave, and one of my new favs, Kyle Riabko...a 17 year old from O Canada. Amazing stuff.

I've found in the recent years that it's been difficult finding new music that's actually good, let alone cds that are even worth buying. This way, you get to listen to some great stuff from new and old artists alike, that aren't necessarily in the mainstream music world...which to me, is a damn good thing.

Being a writer, I can appreciate the importance of fresh, new ideas, and that goes along with new people that can bring a completely innovative sound to music and truly strike a chord with an audience that's been longing for their style and just never knew where to find them (no pun intended).

I highly recommend that any and all check this out...you never know, you may actually find something that becomes your new favorite album that you listen to over and over again because you love it so much.

Enjoy!

My Sweet Pee

2005-08-25T22:46:00.000-04:00

My Sweet Pee
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Okay, now I can FINALLY pee like the rest of them...men that is. These two twins from Texas (sounds like a tongue twister), invented this disposable, compact, convenient device called My Sweet Pee. It's to enable women and girls alike, to pee whenever and wherever they please, especially in situations where you just really don't want to sit down.

So next time you're at that dive bar that your boyfriend is always dragging you to and that you can never 'go' because the toilet is filthy, nasty, and god only knows what the hell is all over it, you can walk in with confidence and with your Sweet Pee in hand and do it STANDING UP. Yes. That's right. Standing up! How exciting is this?

Check this out:

My Sweet Pee

I think I'm going to order all of them.

Equality, here we come!

Vintage French Goodies

2005-08-23T09:56:00.000-04:00

I want...I have
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

So last Thursday, I went on a little journey into Manhattan like I did when I first arrived full of awe and wonder and even patience.

I went to a familiar breakfast joint called NoHo Star...it's not really a joint at all, it's actually quite nice...all gourmet and fresh foods in a bright, but secluded location on Bleecker and Lafayette. I was glad to be back after a year of MIA in Queens.

I sat in the corner surrounded by windows and was able to sit comfortably while people watching and keeping eyes peeled for celebrities. (Lauren Hutton frequents the NoHo Star...or at least used to before she moved to her ranch in New Mexico.)

I ordered my first cup of coffee in well over two months, a lovely bowl of latte sprinkled with sugar on top. As I sipped my high powered drink, I read through my Writer's Digest looking for submission requests...of which many were found! I felt inspired to edit my short story that I've been working on for some time now and finally send it off. We'll see what happens!

I finally decided what to order after much indecision: The breakfast bruschette. Four crispy, lightly toasted slices of rustic Italian bread, with a drizzle of olive oil across the tops then layered with decadent goat cheese, fluffy organic scrambled eggs, and dried by the sun tomates all topped with a delicious garlic pesto sparingly strewn about the dish to give just a hint of garlic to then be crunched and melted slowly into a fantastic gastronomic oblivion.

This is how I started my day.

After I so completely stuffed myself with this amazing breakfast, I finished my coffee which was now causing a slight case of the jitters (it's been a while, like I said), and headed out towards the West Village. I casually walked down Bleecker with my iPod shuffling through my choice selection of tunes and perused the shops along the way.

I stumbled upon an art/antique shop that advertised 50% off all items because they were moving locations. I couldn't resist. I walked in and noticed this postcard. I found several others along with four posters that are now being framed. Once I get them, I will post them here so you can all appreciate them with me.

One is an original lithograph with colors so pure and bright you'd think it was printed yesterday...when in fact it is from the 1960s. One day it will be worth quite a bit of cash...although I don't think I could ever sell it because it's absolutely gorgeous. I'll let the picture describe itself to you.

After spending unnecessary money, I went to spend more. I found my Tibetan shop that sells this wonderful healing incense...every time I burn it, it reminds me of home. Cedar smokey pine trees and campfires. I then headed to SoHo for more shopping...this time it was for a good reason...clothes for Aruba. H&M was calling because I still hadn't used my gift card that I received from my friend Robert for my birthday...I know, a few months late, but at least it went to good use.

Unfortunately, their summer stock had been severely depleted, which I understood because it is the end of August...but I'd managed to find a white pair of pants and a skirt to go with my flowy tanks...ah, I can just imagine it now...walking barefoot on the beach at sunset with the refreshing trade winds blowing through my hair and waving through my skirt as I step into the warm waters of the Carribbean sea.

I digress. Sorry. So, I found the last pair of white pants and bohemian skirt and bought them, even though they need to be hemmed and tailored...a reason to finally pull out my new sewing machine. Did I forget to mention that I'm a wanna be seamstress? Well, sort of...not really...I just want to save money on tailoring costs!

I made my purchases and headed home and had a relaxing evening before going to work the next day.

Sometimes you just have to take time to yourself and really give yourself a treat...it makes a world of difference when you're in a rut!

Photos of posters to come...

Aruba, Baby

2005-08-19T15:20:00.000-04:00

Aruba, Baby
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

How's this for a description of Aruba:

After several hours in flight, your plane approaches Aruba, and you get your first view of the small, unassuming island. Caressed by spectacularly colorful waters, the sun-drenched beaches look ready to warm and enfold your body. The cold and snow back home are a million miles away. In about an hour, you'll be sipping a tropical cocktail at your hotel's poolside bar. Because there's nothing jarringly unfamiliar about Aruba, a drink is about all the adjustment to the island you'll need. This is going to be stress-free: People speak English, most tourists are from the U.S. and Canada, prices are in dollars, driving's on the right side of the road, and you can drink the water. It's time to start your vacation. Full speed ahead.

As written by Frommer himself (at least I think)

So excited for a vacation!! I'll be taking TONS of photos and really enjoying myself...not to rub it in. But we deserve a nice and relaxing sea and sand getaway.

Only 4 more weeks!

D&D latte in Japan

2005-08-19T13:12:00.000-04:00

DH000006
Originally uploaded by daninjapan.

This one rivals that of Rakka's...maybe we should have a vote!

I couldn't resist!!

2005-08-19T12:44:00.000-04:00

DH000021
Originally uploaded by daninjapan.

scroll down to see my first post regarding all of these oh so cute deer in japan!

dan and deer in japan...how sweet!

Last one

2005-08-19T11:51:00.000-04:00

DH000043
Originally uploaded by daninjapan.

just...can't...stop!

Male bonding

2005-08-19T11:50:00.000-04:00

DH000050
Originally uploaded by daninjapan.

A fav

2005-08-19T11:47:00.001-04:00

DH000053
Originally uploaded by daninjapan.

So sweet...

Hangin out with the Deer!

2005-08-19T11:47:00.000-04:00

DH000054
Originally uploaded by daninjapan.

A Deer Party!

2005-08-19T11:45:00.000-04:00

DH000055
Originally uploaded by daninjapan.

So amazing.

More Deer!

2005-08-19T11:44:00.000-04:00

DH000058
Originally uploaded by daninjapan.

Deer in Japan!!

2005-08-19T11:42:00.000-04:00

DH000057
Originally uploaded by daninjapan.

I never, ever thought I'd see a lovely, docile deer (many of them...more photos to come) be so fearless of humans and allow you to pet them. Here's my brother, Dan, making those funny sounds that we make to animals when we are petting them...I don't even want to try to spell it out here!

Here's the link to his set...185+ pics, but they are AWESOME!!

http://flickr.com/photos/57664618@N00/sets/780682/

enjoy!

Plug In Hybrid

2005-08-16T16:25:00.000-04:00

Plug In Hybrid
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

I would buy one of these in a heartbeat if they were a little more affordable...and as they say in the article, not like a "giant cell phone" that you have to recharge. I'd still buy one though. Anything to stop all the horrible pollution that's killing everyone and everything on this earth.

I myself am at risk for all kinds of lung problems, firstly because my mom was a smoker for something like 20 years, and the fact that I live in NYC where there's nothing but pollution, EVERYWHERE. I'd like for them to check and see what the ratio is between carbon monoxide and oxygen around town. I bet it's 2 to 1, with carbon monoxide in the lead. I hate to think that, but I'm sure it's true.

Let's support this and keep Bush and Ahwnold from voting in some stupid car that runs on hydrogen, of all god-damned things.

Let's go Earth!

http://apnews1.iwon.com/article/20050814/D8BVFUNO0.html

http://calcars.org

The Most Horrible Picture EVER

2005-08-12T11:39:00.000-04:00

The Most Horrible Picture EVER
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Check out this site.
Fugly

You will find that you are spending hours, upon hours, looking at horrible celeb photos and reading the trash talkin' gossip that follows, just to make you feel better about yourself, and that you really are a well-dressed, semi-normal, not really that fucked up of a human being after all. Or maybe it's just to bash those tasteless, greedy, normal-people haters called Hollywood celebrities.

Funny...they ride the high horse, buy up all the land and build mansions, wear excessively expensive clothes and parade around in them through Beverly Hills, and claim that they are better than the rest of the people of the world, and yet, who ultimately pays their massive checks:

Us.

That's right.

You and me.

We are the ones who go see their movies, who rate their tv shows, who buy their music. So, I think it's time they gave us all some respect!

To the celebs: you owe it to US to at least act normal around us and stop behaving like you're better. We are technically YOUR boss! Either shape up, or we ship out and ignore your garbage that's continually being produced and pushed on us around every street corner, every bus stop, and in every subway. Enough is enough.

In summary, check out this site. It'll make you feel loads better about all of this and you'll walk away KNOWING that you are indeed, better than them. Ha!

(the author of this post in no way agrees with anything that the author wrote. everyone is equal. no one is better or worse than anyone else. we are all connected as beings on this earth trying to find our sole purpose in life. hopefully it's not to become the hollywood celebrity.)

2005-08-12T08:07:00.000-04:00

Beverage

2005-08-09T15:57:00.000-04:00

DH000089
Originally uploaded by giantmeme.

and here's the beverage that went with the cheese & cheese sammiches...

mmmmm......

..........Aquarius........

whatever the HELL that is!

Is it green tea? ginsing? crack cocaine in soda form? or is it just blue flavored soda water?

We'll have to wait and find out from:

www.livejournal/users/daninjapan

Hope it was good!

Cheese & Cheese Sammiches

2005-08-09T15:52:00.000-04:00

DH000088
Originally uploaded by giantmeme.

Here's another Japanese goodie that my brother found on his first full day in Katsukadai...Gouda and Cheddar sandwiches...no bread. No kidding.

That's constipation just waiting to happen!

Btw, I didn't think that the Japanese really ate that much dairy, other than the best of the best Green Tea ice cream!

Anywhoo, just thinking about food right now...and I just ate!! Oh well...food is always good, anytime.

The rafting trip

2005-08-09T13:40:00.000-04:00

grilled-salmon
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Well, let's just put it this way, my grilled salmon was my favorite part of the trip.

Okay, the reason for this is because it's August. We all know that no matter where you live in the world, water is a bit low, the wells are running dry, and the lawns have turned brown.

So, with that, imagine this: 65 degree river water, strolling along at a oh, let's see, 2 mph pace, and at the low points, the rocks are so high above the top, we actually had to get out of the raft and push. No joke.

For next year, we'll be sure to go in June, like last time, and be in class 3 rapids working our asses off trying to stay afloat.

I'll put it this way, the majority of the trip consisted of everyone using the bale-buckets to throw water on everyone else. A person can only take so much water in the face. Fun for a little while, then very, very annoying.

But when we all got back to the campsite, I made 2 pitchers of margaritas on the rocks, which everyone loved (as could be seen by the rowdy stumbling into the fire), then got my grill-on by throwing fresh green and red bell peppers, onions, and salmon on the hot coals.

It melted in our mouths like butter. So good. My friend Sonia put about a dozen new potatoes wrapped individually in foil right on the coals and made awesome baked potatoes. She even brought a tub o' sour cream...(I think it's time for me to go and get lunch!)

Don't get me wrong, we had a great time, all 16 of us, and I'd definitely do it next year.

In June.

Kiccoro and Morizo

2005-08-09T11:05:00.000-04:00

Kiccoro and Morizo
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

I had to post a pic of these cute little guys. They are the official mascots of the World Expo 2005 in Aichi, Japan, which is where my brother is right now! Here's a link to his daninjapan livejournal so you can read all about his experiences on his month long journey in that more than amazingly awesome country.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/daninjapan/

And, in case you're interested in what's going on at this year's Expo, check this out:

http://www-1.expo2005.or.jp/en/index.html

Moshi moshi!

Off for the Weekend!

2005-08-04T15:27:00.000-04:00

raftscene
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

a weem a way, a weem a way, a weem away, a weem away, a weem away, a weem away, a weem away, a weem away.....

btw, we're not really going to the jungle...just the Poconos. In Pennsylvania.

http://www.whitewaterrafting.com/

Okay this is what I'M talking about!

2005 Whitewater Dam Release Dates

May – 14th & 15th, 29th & 29th
June – 11th & 12th, 25th & 26th
July – 2nd & 3rd, 23rd & 24th
August – 6th & 7th, 20th & 21st
September – 3rd & 4th, 17th & 18th
October – 1st & 2nd

So, at this time tomorrow, I will be sitting in my camp chair, drinking a tall, ice cold margarita with a bunch of friends and RELAXING.

Saturday is the rafting day. And oh what fun that will be! I'm going to be sore as hell afterwards, but hopefully because I've been working out lately, it won't be as bad as last year when the next morning, I literally couldn't move out of my tent for an hour. Either that or I was just really hungover from the previous night's debauchery.

Stay tuned for photos (I think I'm going to buy a disposable, waterproof camera for the ride)

Keep cool...it's hot out there

To quote from Good Morning Vietnam:

Adrian Cronauer: (Imitating Walter Cronkite)
"I just want to begin by saying to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt, what it is, what it shall be, what it was. The weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming down from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut."

gillmore~OUT

Giantmeme

2005-08-04T12:26:00.000-04:00

Giantmeme
Originally uploaded by Happy Gillmore.

Okay, if this works, I will be TOTALLY happy!

This is test #2 from my flickr acct...I want to be sure I can post from here so I can circumvent the whole issue that I've been having with posting from the jobby job.

(I'm thinking of you, Bro...have fun in Japan!)

Flickr

2005-08-04T12:23:00.000-04:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

An Open Letter to the MTA

2005-08-03T10:34:00.000-04:00

Dear Extremely Greedy Members of the MTA NYC Transit Board of Directors,

One question:

Why is it that every time any of us need to be somewhere by a specific time the train is either delayed, stalled, broken down, or non-existent and then when we could care less about whether or not we ever get to where we're going, the train is on time, speeds through the local stops and gets us there in record time?

I find this to be a very perplexing conundrum that plagues each and every one of us that have to deal with your monopoly that is New York City’s public transit system.

For example, this morning, I was running about 5 minutes behind schedule and I quickly got to the Broadway train station (the N & W line in case anyone is curious), at which time a train was hauling ass into the station and therefore pulled out by the time I got to the platform. Strike #1.

After I'd accepted the fact that I'd missed it and that I'd probably be just a couple of minutes late, I walked to the end of the platform and waited in the "hazy, hot, and humid" sun (as quoted by every single weatherman in the tri-state area—the new summer buzz word—drives me up the f-ing wall) for the next 15 minutes. Finally, after trying to concentrate on my reading while sweat dripped down my stomach from the nether regions under my bra, the next W train casually showed up with its cocky attitude in tow. I thankfully stepped into the well air-conditioned car, which surprisingly wasn’t a can of sardines and found a spot so I could comfortably read my book and listen to my tunes. After about 5 minutes, we arrived at Queens borough Plaza, which is the last stop before entering Manhattan. As usual, the train filled up from the connecting #7 train and became slightly uncomfortable due to the now packed train car. Thank god the a/c worked or I might’ve become extremely irritated. The conductor announced to get out of the way of the doors so we could leave the station. Open, close, open, close. Bing-bong...bing-bong...bing-bong. “Christ, would that idiot just get out of the way?” I thought to myself. 2-3 minutes later, the conductor himself comes to our car and says, “Is there a problem with any of the doors in this car?” We all looked at him with puzzled looks and shook our heads “no”. Several more minutes pass and he came through the car again, this time on his radio with whoever he talks to in these types of situations, and this time he says, “There’s a problem somewhere, but we can’t find it.” That didn’t sound very promising.

At this point, it’s 8:05, already 5 minutes late. I make the usual call to my job and let them know that once again I am stuck on the train. “Okay, that’s fine, no problem. See you when you get in,” says the shift supervisor. We continued to wait. And wait. “Ladies and gentlemen,” begins the conductor, “This train is now going out of service, please take an alternate route into Manhattan by transferring to the #7 train across the platform.” Strike #2. “You’ve got to be joking, right?” I asked into the thick air surrounding us all. The tension within the train just kicked up about 1,000,000 notches. From slight, under the breath grumbles to full on verbal abuse towards the MTA workers, things were beginning to get out of hand. After a moment’s thought, I decided that it would take me twice as long to get to work now if I took the #7 train to the #6 train. So, I started walking past the hundreds of irate passengers and headed out of the train station. I walked through the turnstile and saw the approaching straphangers and thought, “They have no idea what’s going on just up those stairs. Their mornings are about to be ruined because of this mess.”

I walked past the chicken fried Chinese-Tex-Mex pizza restaurants, if you can even call them restaurants, past the “Gentleman’s” clubs, past the drunk bum pissing on the bus stop, and past the hookers coming off their evening shift. I made my way through this degraded and sleazy part of Queens towards the R train where there were about 5 cops changing shifts from violating our rights to privacy by searching our bags. Strike... #3. “If they even THINK about looking in mine, first I’m going to give them a piece of my pissed off mind and then I’m going home,” I thought, as I knew that this just wasn’t my day and maybe I should just shut myself in my room and call in sick.

Fortunately for them, Strike #3 was avoided. They didn’t even look twice at my heavy messenger bag filled with tampons, organic herbal tea, and Luna bars. What fun that would have been! To see the look on those macho, power-tripping, goomba cop’s faces as they pawed through my Tampax. I scurried past them into the station with victorious defeat. “No one is going to search my girlie bag!”

2 trains go by, neither of which were R trains. I couldn’t even read my book because it was about a thousand degrees down there. Before, I was at least above ground with a breeze, but down here it was like being in a tomb below the pyramids surrounded by potential scarabs ready to devour my remaining patience. At last, an R train arrived: 8:25. Damn. “Well, there’s nothing I can do about it now,” I thought as I stepped into a frigid train car filled with those happy and relaxed people who leave an hour and a half before they have to work.

I hate those people.

I finally made it to work at 8:45.

My point of this is to let you all know that by giving yourself huge salaries and bonuses and living fat, happy, greedy lives, you make about 3 million daily riders miserable by not fixing the many long-existing system-wide problems.

That’s a lot of people to have after you.

Take care now!

Sincerely,

Happy Gillmore of Astoria, NY

Flickr

2005-08-02T21:20:00.000-04:00

This is a link to Flickr. For those of you who've never been there, check it out. It where people can post their photo collections on line. Absolutely, fantastically, talented people in this world. Wow.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/blahblahblah/sets/149073/

Here's just a sample of the AMAZING photos taken by everyday regular joes like you and me.

I'm totally inspired.

Salad Schmalad

2005-08-02T21:19:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been so frustrated from a salad that you just threw it away?

Well, I did.

Every, single, goddamn time I tried to stab the Romaine or "Field Greens" with my fork, they would just put up their magnetic force fields and cause my fork to bounce off, one time actually flying out of my hand across the room. WTF? Oh, and I can't forget the cucumber fleeing for its life by jumping off my fork and rolling down my blouse like a wagon wheel down a mountain. And the little fucker decided to leave his mark: a trail of honey dijon dressing. He left a lovely little stain on my shirt that must've been his message to me not to mess with him. Well, this is what I have to say to you: :I'll get you!!! You just watch your back, Cuke!"

I may never eat salad again.

Unless of course someone (God) can figure out a better way to make the lettuce and those goddamned greens be more accepting of their fate...face it, you're gonna be eaten by me and you have no other choice, so just give in!

For now, I'm boycotting God and his damned salads.

AKA: vegetatis nomoreis

A Tennis Shoe?

2005-08-02T13:17:00.000-04:00

Okay, let me just start off by saying that the ONLY reason why I'm even discussing this is because we're going to Aruba in September for our vacation and it just happens to be the worst possible publicity for the place that there could ever be.

So, now they're looking for the suspect who belongs to the tennis shoe that they found on the beach. What? Excuse me, did you say tennis shoe? This whole thing is totally botched and they should just accept the fact that the sharks most likely got her and there's no way of finding any remains. End of story. But, the really annoying part of this is that if the Dutch kid did in fact get really trashed with her and was with her when she overdosed on E or whatever it was and then proceeded to throw her in the water because he didn't want to get in trouble for letting her OD, then JUST ADMIT IT! Like mom always says, "Lying will only get you into more trouble than if you'd just told the truth in the first place."

For my selfish sake, I hope all of this is over with by the time we go down there. I mean, what a bummer to be on vacation and have it tainted by all the ridiculous circus media talking to every frickin' person on the island and perpetuating such horrible publicity for THE safest island in the Carribbean. It's like the time when I went to Paris 3 days after Princess Diana was killed in that car "accident". The entire city was somber and honestly created this very morbid atmosphere in the place that's usually filled with romance, wine, and street mimes.

CNN just needs to lay off and let the search teams and Dutch government take care of it. I'm sure the family is sick and goddamned tired of being interviewed by Larry King.

Enough is enough.

Whoa

2005-07-31T13:02:00.000-04:00

that was amazing. i'm still recovering from last night. I've almost lost my voice completely from singing my heart out to BNL and Dave. My only complaint: no Two Step. They played the greats like 41, the Warehouse, Jimi Thing, and Crash...but Two Step would have made my night. I've seen him in concert 5 times now, and every time they play that song and they come out for at least 2 encores. Last night, only one. I still loved it and will continue love it and go to his shows as long as he tours. And what an added bonus to have Barenaked Ladies!!

The Old Apartment, Straw Hat and Dirty Old Hank, Pinch Me, Break Your Heart, Alcohol, One Week and of course, If I had A Million $$. They also played another song that I'd never heard before, so I'm guessing, (and hoping) that they're working on a new album. Maybe they'll be on tour sooner than we think.

For those of you out there that have only heard BNL's hits like One Week or It's All Been Done, and you don't really like it, I'd say, check out their older stuff from this album:

or this one:

or this one:

I do have to say that it's been quite a while, about 2 years since I've listened to BNL...all due to a break up. You know how that goes. But, since seeing them last night, I have a new found admiration for them...brilliant lyricists and totally fun performers. Can't wait to see you guys again!

Now, time to go and eat really bad food and walk around the city for a while.

"My gastrointestinal festival's best of all" ~Steven Page & Ed Robertson-BNL ("Stomach vs. Heart"~Born on a Pirate Ship)

All Day Music Fest

2005-07-30T12:58:00.000-04:00

This is where I'm going to be all day:

Very excited. I love Dave...his older stuff really, before he became so damn popular. I just wish I could say that I saw him at one of those small venues in Virginia when no one had even heard of him.

Gonna go eat my Amy's Spinach pizza, (so yummy!), put on my sunscreen and head out.

Good times!

Zen in the Art of Writing

2005-07-29T16:32:00.000-04:00

This is my new undertaking. I think it will help to keep me motivated and driven to write, not that I'm slacking by any means. It's always good to get a new perspective on what it is that you love, that way you don't take it for granted or get a huge ego because you can't let that get out of control or you'll really fail, and fail hard...watch out for the broken glass.

Ray Bradbury's written over 20 books and has also written for films and television. Who know's more about writing than him? Not me, that's for sure and that's why I'm going to blaze through his book over the weekend. I'll let you know what I learned.

P.S. Note to self: white girl-Thai family. Will explain later.

This one's for Rakka

2005-07-29T16:21:00.000-04:00

http://www1.iwon.com/home/entertainment/entertain_buzz_list/0,19513,,00.html

Now it should work!!!

no more

2005-07-29T15:18:00.000-04:00

i've officially had it with this goddamn service

i'm now missing several of my posts.

i'm livid.

Blogger Sucks!!!

2005-07-29T15:01:00.000-04:00

Oh Yeah, 4th Amendment!

2005-07-29T12:24:00.000-04:00

I just found a cool site today: http://www.boingboing.com The coolest little site in the world which led me to this:

http://www.cafepress.com/nosearch.12212390

which is THIS:

This is in response to the recent bag searches in our once fine city of new york. Well, you can all PISS OFF! I'm gettin' one of these and you can take your search and shove it!

Woo hoo for freedom. As long as it lasts, I'm going to use it!

and thanks to a newly found very cool blog that all of us will enjoy:

http://www.glitterpissing.blogspot.com

which came from my favorite Patrick H. at buzzlist which is where all of this came from today.

What the "F"?

2005-07-29T11:39:00.000-04:00

Okay, everytime I try to post from "the job", it get this lameoid "Page cannot be displayed" b.s. message. What's that about? Enough of this. We're not conducting insider trading, ok? We're not installing spyware and stealing your precious, little secrets. Get over yourselves.

Some of us need to use this medium to communicate to others and are not maliciously planning your demise. So LAY OFF!!!

We'll see if this even gets posted.

The '70s Rears its Ugly Head

2005-07-28T16:27:00.000-04:00

New York City. The place of endless opportunity. A town large enough to never see the same person twice. A city that has a balance between the ultra-wealthy and the financially challenged. At least it used to be. But, if anyone who lived in New York during the 1970s will remember, this was a time when the disparity between the rich and poor was so overwhelming that businesses began closing their doors forever, rents skyrocketed so much that people had to move into the outer boroughs (yes, even Staten Island), and the tension between people was so dense you had to swim through it as you walked down the street. It was a terrible time, except for the rich who were only getting richer, buying up property, expanding their corporations (and embezzling a little for themselves), and making this city nearly impossible to live in, unless of course you were one of them.

During the ‘90s, Guiliani cleaned up this city, made some drastic changes in the law that allowed a more balanced environment in nearly every aspect, and created a place that people could survive in even if they worked at a minimum wage job. That's what was so great about New York. You came here to start a new life, new job, to find yourself and it was financially feasible. This is when "I Love NY" really became the slogan of the city because everything was going so great.

But now, things have changed. Again. We've gone back to how things were during the 1980s. The cost of living is extortionately high. The rent-stabilized apartments are even going up, for the second year in a row. Classic buildings are being torn down to create luxury high-rise condos that only the CEOs of major companies can afford to buy. Small businesses are closing; even the famed Howard Johnson's Diner in Times Square shut down because of the high tax rates and increased rents (it’s legacy lasted for almost 50 years) will be torn down for a high-rise retail outlet (well, they did get a load of dough for that locale). At least 5 places that I used to frequent, whether it was a restaurant or a shop, have closed down within the past 3 months. And this is just a small portion of what's been closing throughout the entire city. We actually have to call the store or restaurant first before we go just to make sure that it's still open. The fares for the train have gone up twice in the past year, so now a person who buys a 30-day MetroCard must pay nearly $80. Who’s to say when all of this will even out, (Bloomberg)? I’m not saying that it’s entirely his fault, but what do you expect when you elect a republican in a very democratic, liberal city? That’s another issue of debate to be left for another time.

Places like the East Village and even Williamsburg, Brooklyn (the New East Village) that used to be very eclectic, kitschy, and barely hanging on to this side of reality, are now being so gentrified that you’d think you were in the suburbs, with Gaps, JCrews, and TGIFridays mucking up and forcing out all the artists and progressives that might actually do this world some good one day.

There needs to be a change soon or else this city will become a place that’s only for the elite, the ones we hate that go to all our cool restaurants and bars and ruin the environment with their Hamptonesque wannabe affluence, stiff suits and shirts, Manolo Blahnik, “I have more money”, “I’m better than you” attitudes and energy. Enough already! Maybe this is their mecca and there will be no way of stopping it. Maybe the rest of us “real” people, and I mean that in every sense of the word, will have to find a new place that will be our own that none of those uppity types would ever dream of. Someplace like St. Louis. Okay, maybe not there, but someplace that we can start a “non-genetically modified” New York and really make it the way we’ve always dreamed: sans yuppies. Or who knows? Maybe we would eventually turn into yuppies ourselves, but at least we’d be different and be able to afford our happy little mid-western lives in our New Organic New York.

Summer in the City

2005-07-27T16:37:00.000-04:00

The days of camping each week, going to the lake for swimming after work, going to the park and playing kickball with the kids, driving across the state for a concert at the Gorge, have all gone away. At least in this city. I can get away maybe every other weekend, but it's usually to the beach just ten minutes from JFK. Not quite the same as Lake Whatcom, Meydenbauer Beach, or even Lake Sammamish.

But this morning when I walked out of my apartment at 7:25, I noticed it. The slightly cool, clean, pure smell of a summer morning in Washington State. The air had that sweet smell of pine trees, flowers, and freshly cut grass. It immediately brought me back to the mornings when I'd get my coffee dressed in my camp counselor tank top, cut-off Levis, and Teva sandals, stepping through the dewy, sun drenched grass of our front yard hearing the chickadees and sparrows greeting the azur sky of the new day. I can't tell you how much I long for that during the summers in New York.

Because here, we have smoggy, thick, humid air that barely has any oxygen in it, laden with pollutants, dirt (the kind that comes in through even the smallest crack in your window frame and leaves a sooty film reminiscent of Dickens' industrial times), and god knows what else. The water at the beaches are less than desirable, but manage to at least cool you down during a near 100 degree day with 90% humidity.

The worst part about it all is the garbage and sewers. I never thought it would ever be possible to smell something so bad that it literally causes you to gag. I've only seen things that make me nauseous, but never smelled something so disgusting. Shop owners and tenants put the garbage out the night before the sanitation guys come and pick it up, and on these hellish days of summer, you'd wish people wouldn't produce such heinous waste. As I walk up the street towards the train, a few blocks from my apartment, I get a whiff of the most rancid, foul stench to ever be. The sewers are practically boiling and the fumes seep through the grates on the corner. Then, to add to that, remember that garbage? Well, imagine it baking in the already 82 degress (this is 7:30 in the morning), and basically cooking. What's even worse, if you can imagine, is the infamous "Street Sauce" as coined by my brother Dan. (Thanks for this one!) This is the drippy, sticky stuff that leaks out from the bottoms of the garbage bags baking on the sidewalks. You have to constantly look where you're going or else you're about to have a REALLY bad day.

By the time I get to the train, my lovely memories of home have been fumigated by the rotting excrement on the street and I curse the fact that I live here. This is all due to the fact that it's excruciatingly hot at the moment and everyone is in a bitter mood because of it. Once winter rolls around, we'll all be complaining about how freezing cold it is and how we wish it was again, summer in the city.

Massage? Massage?

2005-07-25T14:36:00.000-04:00

3rd Avenue and 57th-42nd Streets

A New York Street Fair

Sunday 4:00pm.

Oppressively hot, but breezy (not that it makes a damn bit of difference).

Hundreds of people meandering through the sweaty streets filled with the smell of Italian sausage frying in onions and peppers, the $1 Thai Food stands pitching that they have better Pad Thai than their neighbors just five booths down, the sound of salsa music being blasted at 160 decibels with hopes that it will deafen people enough into buying their cds, booths and booths of ripped-off labels from brands such as Chanel and Versace being picked over by the perfectly manicured upper eastside Jewish princesses, the guys trying to find that bargain on the Elizabeth Taylor perfume so that they can finally send their mother-in-law what she's been wanting all these years, and finally, the Chinese masseuses. They are the Mao of massage. As you are casually strolling along looking over your shoulder with a jaw dropped expression at the 70 year old woman wearing a white tennis skirt and white tank top that barely covers her once youthful bosom showing off her oh so natural leather tan that she’s nurtured since 1975, they come and find you. They had been scoping you out for several street blocks awaiting your arrival into their territory where they can have their way with you. After realigning your neck and calming down from the shock of that previous walking nightmare, you feel a hand on your shoulder, not of your significant other. You hear, “Massage? Massage? You want massage now.” That last one was not a question, rather a command with the intonation of a drill sergeant. As you turn to look at who was beginning to rub your shoulders with the sensitivity and finesse of an executioner, you see your husband/wife being pulled in the opposite direction with one of their minions telling you, “You want massage. Now.” They give you a pained look filled with fear as they mouth to you, “I love you”. You turn to the forceful dictator and meekly say, “Oh, no thank you. No. No really. No thank you.” As you are gracefully declining their generous offer, they interject with, “Yes. Massage. Now. Yes. Massage.” Because the manhandling becomes a bit too uncomfortable, you find yourself pulling away from them in quite a forceful manner because they had suddenly become aggressive with their proposition. You begin to flee screaming, “No! No massage now! No massage now!” You sprint away from the grip of the oppressor while trying to search for your other half. Where did they go? Oh god. As you turn and look behind you through the crowds of people, you see that he has been pulled into the tent of hell, laid out on the table with four people working on him at once. You hear his screams. He is wailing for someone to help. All you can do is look upon him and say, “and he was such a wonderful man. What’ll I ever do without him?”

Croissant Forgotten

2005-06-21T12:33:00.000-04:00

A small SOHO café, eclectic music filling the air and spilling out onto the summer sidewalk on this day of the solstice, I sit awaiting the return of my visiting friend who had been pulled away by a phone call from a far. Hot, foamy Parisian latte, stirring with my spoon, trying to recount memories and console this beloved friend of mine who has recently become distanced from her lover by a war with no cause. I crunched a toasted baguette with creamy buerre and strawberry jam and listened intently to her hopes and fears for her man, who is now in the desert amongst zealots fighting for their god by killing all who do not believe, and who ironically, is our god too.

She dreams of times past with memories of ease and joy, but finds it difficult to be that now, knowing that he, because of his love for this country, is in danger at every waking and sleeping moment for the next 18 months.

As I finished my cup of coffee and watched my friend with empathetic eyes, I realized something that is vital to life, but is also something that many of us unconsciously choose to ignore: our connection with one another and everything that exists in this world.